Balancing Life, Does it EVER WORK??

I am feeling so good lately!  I have been super busy and just keeping myself motivated to do stuff.  Awhile ago I was feeling really lethargic and tired all the time.  I got my blood tested to see if I had issues with my thyroid, I took pregnancy tests, I just thought something was off.  Turns out I think I was just a bit depressed. 

Depression really confuses me, and I've dealt with it most of my life.  Sometimes it's obvious, like I'm sad and I'll cry for no reason.  Other times I get blah and tired and it takes me awhile to realize what's going on.  I'll get these intense urges to just run away from my life and start over somewhere new.  Now that I'm a grownup and have a house, a husband and two kids, I know I can't do that, I have to face the issue and deal with it rather than run away like I used to in my 20s. 

Anyway, I realized it was a bit of depression after I had a night out with a friend.  We just sat and had a cup of coffee and caught up with each others lives.  The next day I bounced out of bed and felt so good, I didn't even take a nap with Otis, I had energy and motivation!  So now the key is to keep doing things like that so I feel like myself.  And with that comes the balance of keeping the mister happy, too, since I always feel like I'm living this great life and he's stuck at work or home with the kids while I'm out being a social butterfly.

I have no problem with him going out, mind you.  He just doesn't go that often.  He's such a dude, he complains about not having things to do, but then never calls any of his friends.  He comes home from work and crashes on the couch when the kids are in bed.  Does this mean I should stay and keep him company all the time?  I mean, I would love it if we could go out together, but at the same time I love having time with lady friends and NO KIDS!  That's the thing--I do see my girlfriends during the week when we have playdates or meet up at the community center, but then we're chasing after a gaggle of 2 year olds and you can't have a freakin' conversation to save your life.  It's better than nothing, but it's still not enough sometimes, you know?  I want to sit and talk and be able to follow a thought to the end without having to tell someone to share, stop hitting, wipe a nose, etc. 

This week I had a show, so I was gone one night.  Then today I have to help out at the shop I sell my stuff at, so I'll be gone the whole day.  I mentioned that Monday night there's a mom's night out and the mister got a bit prickly "Oh, so you'll be gone again?"  Part of me really did want to ask for permission so he wouldn't feel like I was just taking off, but then part of me wanted to get pissed like why should I ask permission??  I'm home with these kids 24/7, I don't get to leave and talk to adults or go to the bathroom by myself or eat lunch by myself.  Oh my god, I took a shower while the kids were (I thought) playing nicely together, only to find out as soon as I was in the middle of washing my hair that they had both slammed doors and couldn't get them open (old house...) and each was banging on a door begging to be let out.  I heard all this commotion and screams of "MAMAMAMAMAMAMAMA!!" and I just sighed.  I want to wash my hair, is that too much to ask?

But then he is working all day, it's not like he's relaxing.  And then he comes home to the chaos of kids.  And my life is pretty sweet I think, I get to stay home, there is no daycare, I get to sew, I get to stay in my pjs if I want, I get to take a nap with Otis sometimes, I get to be lazy and not sweep or do laundry if I don't feel like it. And yes, the whole playdate thing is not ideal but it is pretty nice to sit and drink coffee with friends even with screaming kids running around.  So I feel bad that I get this amazing stay at home life and I complain about it sometimes.  And then I expect to go out on top of all that. 

There must be a balance and I still have yet to find it.  

Mother's Guilt

Today my husband and I are supposed to drop the kids off at Grandma and Grandpa's and take a little trip to Madison to see friends.  We are leaving the kids there overnight, something we've never done before.  These grandparents live five minutes away and we'll only be an hour away, it's not really that big of a deal, right? 

And yet.

Last night Otis woke up coughing and needed a little snuggle to go back to sleep.  I kept thinking afterward about what if he wakes up at a strange house and gets freaked out and I'm not there?  And he cries and they don't know how to calm him down?  I started thinking maybe Brendan could just go to Madison alone and I'd stay home with the kids.

Wait, what???

Truth is, we need to get away.  My life is so involved with kids 24/7, we need this adult time to hang out with adult friends, drink adult drinks, watch some football (did I just say that????) and not be parents for two seconds.  They will survive.  And by "they" I'm not sure if I mean the grandparents or the kids!!

When I was on bedrest with Otis I remember thinking Ingrid was going to be scarred for life from the three weeks of her not having me, when all she'd ever had was me by her side.  And guess what?  She survived.  She probably shed some tears and felt bad for awhile, but she is most definitely not scarred.  And Otis might not feel the best, and would probably really love it if I were the one to soothe him back to sleep, but he will also survive ONE NIGHT without mama by his side.  And the grandparents probably don't want to be up with a crying kid tonight, which may or may not even happen.  But they, too, will survive one freakin' night, and they can always take a nap the next day...

So, folks, let me shed this mother's guilt and go have fun today!  With my husband and our friends and NO KIDS!

Neighbors

We have been so lucky with our neighborhood!  When we looked at our house before buying it, we met twin girls just a bit younger than Ingrid that lived two doors down.  When we bought the house, we found out there was a little boy Otis' age next door.  When we moved in, we met our neighbors across the street that have kids the same age.  Their neighbors have a kid Ingrid's age, and so on and so on.  It is a perfect place to raise our kids!

Yesterday was a perfect example of why I love where we live.  I looked out to see our friends on their front step.  We went outside to say hi.  The girls on our side of the street also came out to say hi.  We all went inside for the kids to play.  We then went to someone else's backyard.  We saw another neighbor with her kid, invited her over.  All the kids played and ate popsicles.  Then it was dinner time and we went home.  No elaborate play date, just kids hanging out in the neighborhood. 

Someday they will be able to do this by themselves, too--go ride bikes, play a game of baseball at the nearby park, have sleepovers.  I love it!

We were talking about the lady across the alley that has triplets, whom I've never met.  But it made me remember a new member of the mom's group I created on Facebook, so I went home to see if it might be the same person.  I messaged her "please don't think I'm insane, but I think I'm your neighbor?"  She wrote back that she'd wanted to come say hi for a long time!  Totally random meeting of another neighbor.

Oh, and let's not forget the pregnant neighbor that waddled into our backyard last week with cucumbers from her garden!  She said they had tons, and would I like some?  We chatted, they are having their first baby any day now.  I gave her tomatoes from our garden.  Neighbors, people, they are amazing!

I just feel so lucky that A) we got a really awesome house B) the house was way cheaper than we thought we'd find and C) it's in this amazing little pocket of a neighborhood with all these great people!  I could not have planned for anything better!

Growing Food

We planted a small garden at our new house.  The previous owners had a small plot of land with some asparagus and weeds, so my mom and I dug everything up and put in a raspberry bush, blueberry bush, lettuce, zucchini, green beans, and tomatoes.  Every day I have gone outside to water them in this summer of extreme heat and no rain.  Every day Ingrid and I peer into the soil, looking for seedlings, new growth, flowers, and finally produce.

One morning we found we had five zucchinis ready to go!  I have never grown anything like this before, I was so proud!  We made some zucchini bread and gave the rest to the neighbor.  Yesterday we picked four more, and found three more babies on the plant.  Oh my god, I grew food! 

Our tomatoes are getting nice and plump and red, our lettuce is growing huge and we picked some but then promptly forgot to do anything with it and it wilted and shriveled on the counter.  The berries never produced fruit, but maybe next year.  The point is--I grew food!  I live in a city but I grew food! 

I always had this little daydream of living in the boonies with my kids running around, dogs barking at birds in a field, growing a bunch of food, having goats and chickens wandering around.  I still love that idea, but I am a city girl at heart.  I love being able to get to places without having to drive.  So here I am trying to combine the two.  I would still love a goat or two, but I don't think our neighbors would enjoy that too much.  Probably not so much the chickens either.  But food, that I can handle!

It's Potty Time Again

One of my least favorite parts of parenting is the whole potty learning thing.  Ingrid was pretty easy, I guess, although in retrospect she had a lot of accidents for a long time.  But I got through it.  Now I have to do it all over again with Otis!!  Yikes.

I do not think boy vs. girl is going to be any harder.  Am I naive?  Possibly.  But I do know friends that had boys in undies by age 2, and I've seen some blogs with boys in undies by age 2, so it's not abnormal.  I think ultimately if you are consistent and they start to understand what's going on, it doesn't matter what the gender. 

So someone posted a question about potty training on this mom's group I'm part of on Facebook.  She has a 21 mo. old and is just starting out on her journey, asked for some tips, ideas, stories about others' experiences.  One woman posted this article about the "dangers" of potty training too early.  I was curious, so I read it.  And then I got pissed.  No pun intended.

I am so sick of people trying to scare moms.  We already come with a boat load of guilt about every little thing, please do not use a doctor to scare us into something else.  I will be honest with you, I think this article is ridiculous.  I think the fact that people have been learning how to use a toilet before age 2 for a very long time, and in lots of different cultures and countries, should show that is is normal and okay.  I don't know, I know some kids have issues with pooping, but to use that to say no one should potty train until three or later seems a little off. 

Otis is 19mo now and he is starting to tell us when he has gone.  He will find me and point to his diaper and say "mah-bah" which I have no idea what that means, but every time he does it, he has pooped.  And I let him go diaper free all the time, like I did with Ingrid, and every time he pees, he'll come find me and say "pee" and point to where he did it.  He is learning what's going on, he is connecting the dots between a feeling and what comes after that feeling, and as we go on in the next few months, he'll understand where he's supposed to mah-bah and pee (hopefully not on the floor anymore!!)  I would hope he will learn this before he is three! 

I guess I just don't see how it is dangerous for him to be learning this right now.  He is not being "trained" to hold it and go at a certain time, he is just learning where to go when he gets that feeling.  He does not get a sticker or an M&M when he does it, he is just learning that is how you do it when you are human. 

Anyway, who knows.  Maybe he'll be really tough and never use the potty and then when someone says "he's STILL in diapers??" at age three I'll give them the link to that article and say "I was worried about the dangers."  And let me tell you, I am not judging anyone who waits--I think like with most things in parenting, you read the signs your child gives you.  If he's ready, you go for it.  If he's not, you don't.  But to say you shouldn't follow the lead of your child because it might be dangerous, that's just unneccesary.

Life in our House

Well, so much for not being neglectful.  But really, we had tons going on lately, so I am excusing myself. 

Number one thing, we bought our house!  We are the proud owners of a three bedroom, one and half bath colonial in the cutest little tree lined neighborhood.  We have gotten to know our neighbors, who all have kids the same age.  I am in love with the idea of people stopping by when we're playing in the backyard and having an impromptu playdate.  Or we get bored and go knock on the neighbor's door and see what they're up to.  Our backyard is littered with kid stuff--sandbox, little pool, slide, tball set, chalk, bubbles, tricycle, balance bike.  It drives Brendan nuts!  I think it just looks like a busy family lives there.  And really, I am not trying to impress anyone.  It's not a broken down car, it's a stroller.

Decorating has been fun.  All the walls were painted, which at first I thought was nice.  But they were definitely too Pottery Barn-y and dark and just not my style.  So...dining room went from rusty orange to light, bright pale turquoise.  I went to Ikea today to get Expedit shelves and wicker baskets, I got some white curtains, and I found a really cool midcentury buffet thing at the thrifts.  Now I just need to paint the trim and find a white, round table and some chairs my kids can get out of.  The chairs I have now have armrests that curl around, thus caging the kids in, which can be good until they start screaming because they are trapped and can't get out to go to the bathroom.

Ingrid's room is going to be so cute, if I may say so.  Right now it is GREEN.  Like yelling at you the minute you walk in-yellowy green with a darker green brush stroked over it.  Hideous.  I am going to paint it "rhino" from Behr.  It's a nice pale gray.  I got these curtains for her today at Ikea, so freakin' cute.  She has white furniture, and I have a bunch of fun stuff to hang on her walls, including some vintage dresses that have been hiding in her closet and need to see the light of day.  And then ta-da!  It's a done room! 

All the other rooms are going by the wayside right now.  I have placed some furniture in them and that is that.  Because you know what?  We have a thirty year mortgage, we're not going anywhere!  I love that feeling.

Other things we have been up to--Ingrid turned four.  She's still smart as hell.  She got into her Montessori school.  She keeps trying to put on sweatpants in the hot weather and it drives me insane.  Seriously, 95degrees, you do NOT need sweatpants on!

Otis is huge.  He is running, talking like crazy.  When I get the iPad hooked up I will upload a video or two of him.  He's hilarious, he loves the book Going on a Bear Hunt and says all the "uh oh"s and "oh no"s along with me!  So cute.

I finally had surgery to remove a cyst in my throat.  That was a doozy!  I haven't had surgery since getting my tonsils out when I was five, so it's been thirty years.  I stayed at the hospital jacked up on pain meds for a night, it was sweet.  Now I have a two inch scar across my throat, it looks pretty gnarly.  I am told it will fade, who knows. 

And that's another update on Team Liddle.  I am seriously going to try harder to be more active on here!  I don't have anything major on the horizon so this time I will have more of a chance to stay on top of things!

Much Needed Update

Well, not so much needed if you don't care what goes on in my life, but if you didn't you wouldn't read this, huh? 

Biggest news of  late--we bought a house!  We were saving up money and then Brendan got an unexpected bonus and we got a tax return and suddenly we had a down payment!  So we started looking at houses, found that we really wanted to stay in our neighborhood, no matter how amazing the houses were on the west side, we want to be by the lake.  So we narrowed our search to Bay View and found a little 3br colonial not too far from where we live now.  Our home inspection is tomorrow, we're hoping nothing major is wrong with it!!  We should be closing the end of April.

I cannot tell you how happy this makes me.  After all the effing moving we have done in the past decade, it will be nice to be settled and really make this our home, instead of wondering if we can paint, do they allow dogs, will the neighbors be too loud for our in-bed-by-7pm kids?  NO ONE WILL LIVE UPSTAIRS!  No one will be doing their laundry beneath our apartment at 3am.  No one will get drunk and be loud on a Friday night (seriously, no one.  We haven't been out in forever.)  I am so looking forward to this!

In other news, Ingrid is almost four.  She is the first on the wait list at the school we want her to go to.  Which hopefully means she'll get in because we did not choose another school for her to do a K4 program.  And I think she's ready for school again.  We have been keeping busy with playgroup at the community center and playdates with neighbors and friends.  It's been crazy nice out so we've been at the park nonstop and of course Ingrid gloms onto some poor unsuspecting kid and they play together the whole time we're there. 

Otis is one and walking and growing like mad.  He's got a ton of teeth and I have to cut his hair because he has a moptop.  He is funny and charming and as big of a ham as his sister.  He loves to flirt with people wherever we go.  He blows kisses now, the old ladies LOVE that.

Brendan is good, loving his job.  He has gotten to bike to work most days because it's been so nice out, which is unusual for March in Wisconsin...  I'm good, loving my many jobs.  Applesauce Crafts is going strong--I have two craft shows lined up for the end of April, early May.  I am doing some consigning at a local handmade shop, the Waxwing.  It's pretty great, if I can ever find time to sew.  We're outside most of the day, and when we're not I'm so damn tired I don't want to look at my sewing machine.  Toadstool Vintage is also doing well.  I haven't had a ton of time to go thrifting but hopefully will do in the near future. 

Now, hopefully I will not be so neglectful.  But with all that's coming up in the next couple months, don't hold your breath.

If you have health care, you're lucky!

We just got the bill from Otis' time spent in the hospital.  In December he was in for pneumonia, had to have a chest x-ray, lots of doctors came to visit, he stayed three nights.  All of this adds up to a hefty bill.  Luckily we have insurance through Brendan's work, but still the bill was close to $2000.  Ugh, just as we started saving a big chunk of dough for our house down payment!!  Will our savings ever get to just sit there and not get hit by a big bill?? 

I have lived for most of my adult life without insurance, never going to the doctor when I was sick because I couldn't afford it, having a huge bill when I did have to go, which took me years to pay off.  Thank god I never got into an accident or had to be admitted to a hospital!  That would've killed me.  When I was a full time nanny I started paying for my own insurance, and I kept that until Brendan was done with school and he got insurance through his job.  He went without.  When Ingrid was born, she was on state care.  We are a family that was trying to get somewhere in our lives.  Working hard, going to school and working full time, having a baby, trying to finish up a phd so Brendan could get a better job.  And we could not have done it if something medical had happened to us.  We would not have been able to pay for any bills.  How sad is that??  Our whole lives could've been changed forever if we had been in an accident or had a major illness. 

When we got to Michigan, we had the best insurance ever.  We paid in every month from Brendan's check and then paid nothing, NOT A DIME, the rest of the time.  Well, a $50 copay when we went to the emergency room, and I think I had to pay something for a scan done in another hospital that wasn't covered.  But I had Ingrid's monthly checkups, my hospital stay for my throat cyst, my three weeks of bedrest before Otis was here, Otis' two weeks in the NICU.  We paid something like $300 for all of that! 

Why oh why can't all insurance be like that?  I just don't get it!  We pay into our insurance here but a three day stay at the hospital this time costs us nearly two grand.  It makes no sense to me. And that might not be all we have to pay, because on top of the hospital bill we will be getting charged from each doctor who treated Otis.  That is something that boggles my mind.  I am paying the hospital already, but now I have to pay someone that works there, too??  Ugh.

This is not to complain about my life.  I love my life, I love that we have insurance we can afford, I'm glad we're only paying two grand and not twenty grand.  I am just pointing out how crazy it is that people can't afford insurance and they are the ones that have to pay through the nose to get help.  And don't get me started on getting any help.  If you're not miles below poverty level you can't get assistance.  When I was a single 24 year old and went to the hospital, I was told I didn't make the cut for state help.  I made twelve thousand dollars that year...Not exactly rolling in it, but I made too much to get assistance. 

Anyway, if you are in a country with health care, thank your lucky stars you're not here in the good ol' USA, where they could care less if you're healthy or not. 

House Hunting

It has been pretty mellow around here, just living life every day.  We are starting to look for a house, which is exciting!  Brendan and I have been together for almost ten years and we have moved every year or two since then.  It will be so nice to settle down for awhile.  We looked at three houses yesterday and I have to say, it's fun to imagine yourself in some houses, but it's also depressing seeing how little we get for our price range. 

I am not one to need a big house, but I do need a usable house.  I need counter space in my kitchen (something I have never had, ever) and I need a room that we can live in that won't feel cluttered the minute we put a couch and toys in there.  The first house we looked at had everything we need, I am so geeked about it and wish we were actually in buying mode.  We're not, we are still saving but just starting to look so we know what we want when the time comes to buy.  This house is updated but still has things we can do to make it our own.  It has a great entryway (for all those boots and mittens that are strewn about right now...) and a cozy living room, and good sized bedrooms, and an attic that is all ready to be finished and made into a sewing studio!!  Or a master bedroom but I'm leaning toward a sewing studio.

The other houses we looked at were...okay.  One only had two bedrooms so it wasn't really an option, we just wanted to look.  It was immaculate, these people are organizers to the extreme.  I have never seen paint in the basement so well organized!  They had everything labeled and put away, I was in heaven just looking at it!  But it only has two bedrooms and a tiny kitchen and just wouldn't fit our needs.  The third house we looked at was TINY.  Like I felt claustrophobic just walking around and there was no furniture in it!  The dining room was barely big enough for a two seater table, let alone a big table and high chair.  The kitchen, as much as I love vintage kitchens, was too vintage.  Like vintage in a way that can't really be used.  And the bedrooms were teeny, did people not have full size beds back in the day?? 

So we had fun looking and imagining and now I am in full decorator mode, excited for the day we are in a house we will be in for more than a year.  A friend sent me a link to this blog, that has house tours of other bloggers.  I had so much fun last night after the kids went to bed just browsing and pinning everything I liked.  Which was a lot.  Now this morning I'm looking at my sad walls and thinking of what I can do to spice things up without spending any money and using what I have.  Which should be easy enough, I have bins of fabric and crap shoved in every closet, I should be able to come up with something...

Homeschool Question

I like the idea of homeschooling and I don't believe kids need the "socialization" that school brings.  But...I know Ingrid is a social butterfly and loves to be around kids her own age.  So I need to know how other homeschooling parents deal with this.  Are there other homeschoolers around that you meet up with?  I'm trying to get one together around here but I'm not sure how many other homeschoolers there are.  There have to be more, right?  I'm in a city!  There are tons of people here, I'm not the only one thinking of homeschooling. 

Any  advice would be appreciated!!

The Smear Campaign Continues

New Year's Eve brought another baby's death in Milwaukee.  Another sad, tragic case that they are blaming on co-sleeping.  I am completely saddened by the idea of a baby dying at such a young age (approximately two months old) and yet I am angered that it is being used to continue a smear campaign. 

From what I have read, it goes something like this:  Baby was passed from 22 yo aunt to 10 yo aunt at bedtime.  10 yo takes baby into a room with a few other kids all sleeping on two crib mattresses on the floor.  Sometime in the night, someone sees baby is unconcious, which is when they go wake up the parents that are in the house!  And somehow this is called a co-sleeping death!

A few points to this story make me really upset--one, that the baby apparently had been throwing up and having seizures the day before and yet was not at the hospital or even being closely monitered by parents.  Two, that baby was left in the charge of a ten year old.  I babysat as a kid, I started at 11 and was very mature for my age.  But, never did I have a sick baby in my care!  Three, that the parents were home but were not taking care of their own (sick) baby.

This is a case of neglect, pure and simple.  A case that has everything to do with the poverty these people are living in and the fact they are obviously uneducated on how to take care of a child.  The baby was passed from person to person throughout the night, when her parents were in the same house sleeping.  There was no cosleeping, there were a bunch of kids shoved in a room with a baby in the middle.  That is not cosleeping!! 

Instead of finding a scapegoat in cosleeping, which can be a very beneficial and lovely practice, the authorities should be educating parents everywhere on how to safely care for a child with basic ideas like don't leave your baby with a ten year old!  Or don't put a 2 month old in a bed with other kids!  Those are easy things to teach people, right? 

Happy At Home

So I thought a lot about the pros and cons of Ingrid in school and talked it over with the mister.  I thought he'd be against taking her out, since he's a pretty traditional school kind of guy.  But luckily he didn't have any major issues with it.  I think he's noticed a change in her, too.  And I don't know, it just seems my gut instinct that it was school that made for the change in her attitude.

One thing I have issues with is how gregarious Ingrid is.  I worry she needs that time with other kids her age.  Today we went to the children's museum and she ran right up to a kid her age and said "HI!  Let's be friends, okay?"  And then they played together until we went to the next installation.  She loves other kids, I don't want her to be denied that.  Are play dates, story times and outings enough?  I kind of like it because it will mean she and Otis kind of have to rely on each other and play together, and if I have siblings, I might as well have ones that like each other, right? 

Anyway, this week has been so nice, just playing and painting, coloring, going outside.  Ingrid has helped me with laundry, wiping off the tables, cleaning the bathroom, making dinner.  She has had zero temper tantrums and only a couple times she cried, both at the end of the day when everyone is crabby and hungry and tired.  Otherwise she is singing, playing with her toys, coming up to me and hugging me, saying "I like you, mom."  She plays with Otis, shares with him, is overall just happier.

It just makes me happy.  I have to sign her up for next fall already next week, which feels kind of funny, like we just made this big decision to keep her home but I have to decide about next fall right now.  Oh well, we'll cross that bridge when we get there.  Maybe 4 is magic for her, she'll be totally fine.  And if not, I won't hesitate to pull her out again!

To School or Not?

Yeesh, it's been almost two months since I've posted last.  Sorry, guys, it's been crazy busy!  But I have been thinking about this whole school thing for awhile now, so I thought I'd post my thoughts and see what the wise blogger women had to say.

Ingrid is in K3 Montessori this year.  She likes it.  The K3 class stays until lunch, then most go home, but they do have an afternoon part they can stay at, with lunch, recess, a story, and resting time.  Ingrid likes school so much she asked to stay for the afternoon.  Which means she's in school from 9am until 3:30pm.  Every day. 

Part of me finds this just fine.  She likes it, she never cries when I leave her, she never is upset when Otis and I walk out the door.  She has friends at school, loves her teachers.  I like that it doesn't interfere with Otis' nap time anymore, since he sleeps until 1-2pm.  I also like not having to drop her off to school and then turning around a couple hours later to pick her up again. 

But...

I feel like school has made her so sassy.  And emotional.  The past few weeks have been horrible, with temper tantrums and crying at the drop of a hat and not listening and lots of yelling.  I was completely at a loss.  Then we had off for the holidays.  We got back into our routine of a slow morning with lots of play, coloring, puzzles, running errands, then resting time in the afternoon.  Temper tantrums slowly faded, my happy girl was back, and I was so much more calm having her home. 

She loves to pull out this bag of scrap fabric I have and play fabric store.  Or play with her guys and her new castle she got for Christmas.  And I love that she will do that for hours!  Or read seventy books in a row if she feels like it.  Otis is pretty much the same way, too, so instead of rush rush rush, put a screaming baby in the car seat, run into school, drive home, more screaming baby, back in the car, etc etc, we just hung out, didn't drive anywhere for a couple days at a time, everyone was happy.

School was supposed to start today, only I thought it was tomorrow.  So we went to the library for story time, the kids had a blast, Ingrid was loving being with all the other kids.  And I thought really, tomorrow we have to go back to the hustle and bustle of school time?  I don't wanna!!  Part of me just wants to keep her home until K4 starts next fall.  She is happy at home, I'm happy with her at home (not one of those parents who loves the start of school, which I DO understand, but for us it's so much easier to be home!!) But what to do?  Is it me being selfish because I just don't want to do the school run anymore and be rushed in the morning?  Would it be teaching her something like you can quit if you don't like it?  Is that a bad thing?

I think the main thing I'm learning is that school is SO not on my high priority list right now.  If she has to miss a day, it totally does not bother me.  Jesus, if she misses the next semester it wouldn't bother me!  I could see her staying home until Otis goes to kindergarten, honestly.  So if it's easier for me, I am game to keep her home.  But, is that fair to her?  She likes school.  She likes home, too, but am I keeping her from something?  We do story time and there's a kid's time at the Children's Museum, too, so we'd have our outings, and we always have play dates. 

What to do??????