Sunday, July 15, 2012

It's Potty Time Again

One of my least favorite parts of parenting is the whole potty learning thing.  Ingrid was pretty easy, I guess, although in retrospect she had a lot of accidents for a long time.  But I got through it.  Now I have to do it all over again with Otis!!  Yikes.

I do not think boy vs. girl is going to be any harder.  Am I naive?  Possibly.  But I do know friends that had boys in undies by age 2, and I've seen some blogs with boys in undies by age 2, so it's not abnormal.  I think ultimately if you are consistent and they start to understand what's going on, it doesn't matter what the gender. 

So someone posted a question about potty training on this mom's group I'm part of on Facebook.  She has a 21 mo. old and is just starting out on her journey, asked for some tips, ideas, stories about others' experiences.  One woman posted this article about the "dangers" of potty training too early.  I was curious, so I read it.  And then I got pissed.  No pun intended.

I am so sick of people trying to scare moms.  We already come with a boat load of guilt about every little thing, please do not use a doctor to scare us into something else.  I will be honest with you, I think this article is ridiculous.  I think the fact that people have been learning how to use a toilet before age 2 for a very long time, and in lots of different cultures and countries, should show that is is normal and okay.  I don't know, I know some kids have issues with pooping, but to use that to say no one should potty train until three or later seems a little off. 

Otis is 19mo now and he is starting to tell us when he has gone.  He will find me and point to his diaper and say "mah-bah" which I have no idea what that means, but every time he does it, he has pooped.  And I let him go diaper free all the time, like I did with Ingrid, and every time he pees, he'll come find me and say "pee" and point to where he did it.  He is learning what's going on, he is connecting the dots between a feeling and what comes after that feeling, and as we go on in the next few months, he'll understand where he's supposed to mah-bah and pee (hopefully not on the floor anymore!!)  I would hope he will learn this before he is three! 

I guess I just don't see how it is dangerous for him to be learning this right now.  He is not being "trained" to hold it and go at a certain time, he is just learning where to go when he gets that feeling.  He does not get a sticker or an M&M when he does it, he is just learning that is how you do it when you are human. 

Anyway, who knows.  Maybe he'll be really tough and never use the potty and then when someone says "he's STILL in diapers??" at age three I'll give them the link to that article and say "I was worried about the dangers."  And let me tell you, I am not judging anyone who waits--I think like with most things in parenting, you read the signs your child gives you.  If he's ready, you go for it.  If he's not, you don't.  But to say you shouldn't follow the lead of your child because it might be dangerous, that's just unneccesary.


MaryAnne K said...

I think people will start a mommy war over anything...

The Mama Beth said...

I agree with you. The article is silly. My oldest was trained well before she was three. We put a little potty in our bathroom, and she started using it sometimes. Some days she wanted diapers, some days she wanted undies. Some days I cleaned up 100 accidents, some days 0. So if a kid is ready and willing, should we refuse to allow them anything other than diapers as young toddlers? That seems rather damaging to me. My middle girl just turned two, and she will not pee on the floor. She will ask for a diaper, but not pee in the toilet. Sometimes she likes to sit on the potty, but nothing ever happens and she gets up when she's ready to and we put on a diaper. She pees and asks for it off. We're following the kids' cues and letting them lead the way. It bugs me when people try to say every kid fits this mold and you must follow XYZ of doing things.

Mommy, Papa and the 'Nuts said...

I agree with MaryAnn...

Lorenzo didn't give a crap about, well, crapping on the toilet until he was three. 3! Then, never ONE accident.
Francesca started at age 2, with a million pee. ugh.

I say go with the flow of whatever he wants to do.