Twice in the past couple days Ingrid has given me a heart attack by disappearing. Yesterday we were enjoying a lovely fall afternoon outside. I had gotten the newest issue of The Mother and Ingrid was making stone soup for me to sniff and sip. She'd go into the trees and grab some leaves and twigs, then come back to me and ask me what it needed. We had been doing this for awhile when I made the stupid mistake of asking if it needed a pinecone in it. She agreed it did, but then I said, oh no wait, we don't have any pine trees in our yard, so no pinecones.
Ingrid wasn't going to let that stop her, however, so she decided to take off on her own, without telling me, to go find a pinecone. I thought she'd just gone to the front yard, but when I went there she was nowhere to be found. Sometimes she goes around the house, so I walked around, calling her name. I heard her, but she wasn't anywhere near our house! I went back to the front calling her name, and then I saw her. A block away, across the parking lot of the church next door to us. The church, which is on a busy street, has pine trees in front. Holy shit, kid, get back here!!!
I tried to explain to her how it was dangerous to go near the busy street, and that she's only supposed to leave the yard with mama or daddy. But she's 2 1/2, does she get that???
Then today we were getting ready to leave the library. We were still in the kid's area, and I stopped to look at a magazine. In that span of two seconds I lost her. She just took off, I had no idea to where. Again, I look around, trying to stay calm, figuring she's nearby somewhere. She wasn't anywhere in the kid's section so I went out to the adult section and there she is, by the door, pushing the button that operates the handicapped doors. I said Ingrid! Where were you going? "Outside." Like, duh mom. You said we were leaving, I was leaving!
Seriously, heart attacks. I try not to freak out about things like this, because I tend to have faith that nothing bad will happen. But then I think holy shit, how fast something terrible could happen! Not even kidnapping so much but getting outside near busy streets and getting plowed over by any one of the terrible drivers around here...
I made the mistake of telling Brendan about yesterday and he freaked out on me. He's a lot more cautious than I am, which I hate. He's always yelling at her to stay out of the road even though she's nowhere near it. It drives me nuts because I like to trust that she does know some things about safety. But then something like her disappearing happens and I wonder if I give her too much freedom? Like she just trusts that everything will be okay and she knows what she's doing so she doesn't get why mama is screaming for her when she's just looking for a pinecone. Ahhh, kids.
Baby Goats and the War Machine
2 months ago