tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4455079935206361542024-03-14T01:02:22.625-07:00mama liddleAmber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.comBlogger170125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-22844068814177791312012-12-01T05:36:00.000-08:002012-12-01T05:36:23.464-08:00Balancing Life, Does it EVER WORK??I am feeling so good lately! I have been super busy and just keeping myself motivated to do stuff. Awhile ago I was feeling really lethargic and tired all the time. I got my blood tested to see if I had issues with my thyroid, I took pregnancy tests, I just thought something was off. Turns out I think I was just a bit depressed. <br />
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Depression really confuses me, and I've dealt with it most of my life. Sometimes it's obvious, like I'm sad and I'll cry for no reason. Other times I get blah and tired and it takes me awhile to realize what's going on. I'll get these intense urges to just run away from my life and start over somewhere new. Now that I'm a grownup and have a house, a husband and two kids, I know I can't do that, I have to face the issue and deal with it rather than run away like I used to in my 20s. <br />
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Anyway, I realized it was a bit of depression after I had a night out with a friend. We just sat and had a cup of coffee and caught up with each others lives. The next day I bounced out of bed and felt so good, I didn't even take a nap with Otis, I had energy and motivation! So now the key is to keep doing things like that so I feel like myself. And with that comes the balance of keeping the mister happy, too, since I always feel like I'm living this great life and he's stuck at work or home with the kids while I'm out being a social butterfly.<br />
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I have no problem with him going out, mind you. He just doesn't go that often. He's such a dude, he complains about not having things to do, but then never calls any of his friends. He comes home from work and crashes on the couch when the kids are in bed. Does this mean I should stay and keep him company all the time? I mean, I would love it if we could go out together, but at the same time I love having time with lady friends and NO KIDS! That's the thing--I do see my girlfriends during the week when we have playdates or meet up at the community center, but then we're chasing after a gaggle of 2 year olds and you can't have a freakin' conversation to save your life. It's better than nothing, but it's still not enough sometimes, you know? I want to sit and talk and be able to follow a thought to the end without having to tell someone to share, stop hitting, wipe a nose, etc. <br />
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This week I had a show, so I was gone one night. Then today I have to help out at the shop I sell my stuff at, so I'll be gone the whole day. I mentioned that Monday night there's a mom's night out and the mister got a bit prickly "Oh, so you'll be gone again?" Part of me really did want to ask for permission so he wouldn't feel like I was just taking off, but then part of me wanted to get pissed like why should I ask permission?? I'm home with these kids 24/7, I don't get to leave and talk to adults or go to the bathroom by myself or eat lunch by myself. Oh my god, I took a shower while the kids were (I thought) playing nicely together, only to find out as soon as I was in the middle of washing my hair that they had both slammed doors and couldn't get them open (old house...) and each was banging on a door begging to be let out. I heard all this commotion and screams of "MAMAMAMAMAMAMAMA!!" and I just sighed. I want to wash my hair, is that too much to ask?<br />
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But then he is working all day, it's not like he's relaxing. And then he comes home to the chaos of kids. And my life is pretty sweet I think, I get to stay home, there is no daycare, I get to sew, I get to stay in my pjs if I want, I get to take a nap with Otis sometimes, I get to be lazy and not sweep or do laundry if I don't feel like it. And yes, the whole playdate thing is not ideal but it is pretty nice to sit and drink coffee with friends even with screaming kids running around. So I feel bad that I get this amazing stay at home life and I complain about it sometimes. And then I expect to go out on top of all that. <br />
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There must be a balance and I still have yet to find it. Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-55757686950790935972012-11-24T04:29:00.001-08:002012-11-24T04:29:29.956-08:00Mother's GuiltToday my husband and I are supposed to drop the kids off at Grandma and Grandpa's and take a little trip to Madison to see friends. We are leaving the kids there overnight, something we've never done before. These grandparents live five minutes away and we'll only be an hour away, it's not really that big of a deal, right? <br />
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And yet.<br />
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Last night Otis woke up coughing and needed a little snuggle to go back to sleep. I kept thinking afterward about what if he wakes up at a strange house and gets freaked out and I'm not there? And he cries and they don't know how to calm him down? I started thinking maybe Brendan could just go to Madison alone and I'd stay home with the kids. <br />
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Wait, what???<br />
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Truth is, we need to get away. My life is so involved with kids 24/7, we need this adult time to hang out with adult friends, drink adult drinks, watch some football (did I just say that????) and not be parents for two seconds. They will survive. And by "they" I'm not sure if I mean the grandparents or the kids!!<br />
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When I was on bedrest with Otis I remember thinking Ingrid was going to be scarred for life from the three weeks of her not having me, when all she'd ever had was me by her side. And guess what? She survived. She probably shed some tears and felt bad for awhile, but she is most definitely not scarred. And Otis might not feel the best, and would probably really love it if I were the one to soothe him back to sleep, but he will also survive ONE NIGHT without mama by his side. And the grandparents probably don't want to be up with a crying kid tonight, which may or may not even happen. But they, too, will survive one freakin' night, and they can always take a nap the next day...<br />
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So, folks, let me shed this mother's guilt and go have fun today! With my husband and our friends and NO KIDS! Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-36501110443528695512012-07-28T05:31:00.001-07:002012-07-28T05:31:24.393-07:00NeighborsWe have been so lucky with our neighborhood! When we looked at our house before buying it, we met twin girls just a bit younger than Ingrid that lived two doors down. When we bought the house, we found out there was a little boy Otis' age next door. When we moved in, we met our neighbors across the street that have kids the same age. Their neighbors have a kid Ingrid's age, and so on and so on. It is a perfect place to raise our kids!<br />
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Yesterday was a perfect example of why I love where we live. I looked out to see our friends on their front step. We went outside to say hi. The girls on our side of the street also came out to say hi. We all went inside for the kids to play. We then went to someone else's backyard. We saw another neighbor with her kid, invited her over. All the kids played and ate popsicles. Then it was dinner time and we went home. No elaborate play date, just kids hanging out in the neighborhood. <br />
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Someday they will be able to do this by themselves, too--go ride bikes, play a game of baseball at the nearby park, have sleepovers. I love it!<br />
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We were talking about the lady across the alley that has triplets, whom I've never met. But it made me remember a new member of the mom's group I created on Facebook, so I went home to see if it might be the same person. I messaged her "please don't think I'm insane, but I think I'm your neighbor?" She wrote back that she'd wanted to come say hi for a long time! Totally random meeting of another neighbor. <br />
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Oh, and let's not forget the pregnant neighbor that waddled into our backyard last week with cucumbers from her garden! She said they had tons, and would I like some? We chatted, they are having their first baby any day now. I gave her tomatoes from our garden. Neighbors, people, they are amazing!<br />
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I just feel so lucky that A) we got a really awesome house B) the house was way cheaper than we thought we'd find and C) it's in this amazing little pocket of a neighborhood with all these great people! I could not have planned for anything better!Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-37081734589413648632012-07-19T05:12:00.002-07:002012-07-19T05:12:58.886-07:00Growing FoodWe planted a small garden at our new house. The previous owners had a small plot of land with some asparagus and weeds, so my mom and I dug everything up and put in a raspberry bush, blueberry bush, lettuce, zucchini, green beans, and tomatoes. Every day I have gone outside to water them in this summer of extreme heat and no rain. Every day Ingrid and I peer into the soil, looking for seedlings, new growth, flowers, and finally produce. <br />
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One morning we found we had five zucchinis ready to go! I have never grown anything like this before, I was so proud! We made some zucchini bread and gave the rest to the neighbor. Yesterday we picked four more, and found three more babies on the plant. Oh my god, I grew food! <br />
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Our tomatoes are getting nice and plump and red, our lettuce is growing huge and we picked some but then promptly forgot to do anything with it and it wilted and shriveled on the counter. The berries never produced fruit, but maybe next year. The point is--I grew food! I live in a city but I grew food! <br />
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I always had this little daydream of living in the boonies with my kids running around, dogs barking at birds in a field, growing a bunch of food, having goats and chickens wandering around. I still love that idea, but I am a city girl at heart. I love being able to get to places without having to drive. So here I am trying to combine the two. I would still love a goat or two, but I don't think our neighbors would enjoy that too much. Probably not so much the chickens either. But food, that I can handle!Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-88999771222572940702012-07-15T07:18:00.003-07:002012-07-15T07:18:58.357-07:00It's Potty Time AgainOne of my least favorite parts of parenting is the whole potty learning thing. Ingrid was pretty easy, I guess, although in retrospect she had a lot of accidents for a long time. But I got through it. Now I have to do it all over again with Otis!! Yikes.<br />
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I do not think boy vs. girl is going to be any harder. Am I naive? Possibly. But I do know friends that had boys in undies by age 2, and I've seen some blogs with boys in undies by age 2, so it's not abnormal. I think ultimately if you are consistent and they start to understand what's going on, it doesn't matter what the gender. <br />
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So someone posted a question about potty training on this mom's group I'm part of on Facebook. She has a 21 mo. old and is just starting out on her journey, asked for some tips, ideas, stories about others' experiences. One woman posted <a href="http://www.babble.com/toddler/toddler-health-safety/dangers-potty-training-early/">this article</a> about the "dangers" of potty training too early. I was curious, so I read it. And then I got pissed. No pun intended.<br />
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I am so sick of people trying to scare moms. We already come with a boat load of guilt about every little thing, please do not use a doctor to scare us into something else. I will be honest with you, I think this article is ridiculous. I think the fact that people have been learning how to use a toilet before age 2 for a very long time, and in lots of different cultures and countries, should show that is is normal and okay. I don't know, I know some kids have issues with pooping, but to use that to say no one should potty train until three or later seems a little off. <br />
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Otis is 19mo now and he is starting to tell us when he has gone. He will find me and point to his diaper and say "mah-bah" which I have no idea what that means, but every time he does it, he has pooped. And I let him go diaper free all the time, like I did with Ingrid, and every time he pees, he'll come find me and say "pee" and point to where he did it. He is learning what's going on, he is connecting the dots between a feeling and what comes after that feeling, and as we go on in the next few months, he'll understand where he's supposed to mah-bah and pee (hopefully not on the floor anymore!!) I would hope he will learn this before he is three! <br />
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I guess I just don't see how it is dangerous for him to be learning this right now. He is not being "trained" to hold it and go at a certain time, he is just learning where to go when he gets that feeling. He does not get a sticker or an M&M when he does it, he is just learning that is how you do it when you are human. <br />
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Anyway, who knows. Maybe he'll be really tough and never use the potty and then when someone says "he's STILL in diapers??" at age three I'll give them the link to that article and say "I was worried about the dangers." And let me tell you, I am not judging anyone who waits--I think like with most things in parenting, you read the signs your child gives you. If he's ready, you go for it. If he's not, you don't. But to say you shouldn't follow the lead of your child because it might be dangerous, that's just unneccesary.Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-85243021839385138342012-07-11T18:21:00.001-07:002012-07-11T18:21:44.682-07:00Life in our HouseWell, so much for not being neglectful. But really, we had tons going on lately, so I am excusing myself. <br />
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Number one thing, we bought our house! We are the proud owners of a three bedroom, one and half bath colonial in the cutest little tree lined neighborhood. We have gotten to know our neighbors, who all have kids the same age. I am in love with the idea of people stopping by when we're playing in the backyard and having an impromptu playdate. Or we get bored and go knock on the neighbor's door and see what they're up to. Our backyard is littered with kid stuff--sandbox, little pool, slide, tball set, chalk, bubbles, tricycle, balance bike. It drives Brendan <em>nuts</em>! I think it just looks like a busy family lives there. And really, I am not trying to impress anyone. It's not a broken down car, it's a stroller.<br />
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Decorating has been fun. All the walls were painted, which at first I thought was nice. But they were definitely too Pottery Barn-y and dark and just not my style. So...dining room went from rusty orange to light, bright pale turquoise. I went to Ikea today to get Expedit shelves and wicker baskets, I got some white curtains, and I found a really cool midcentury buffet thing at the thrifts. Now I just need to paint the trim and find a white, round table and some chairs my kids can get out of. The chairs I have now have armrests that curl around, thus caging the kids in, which can be good until they start screaming because they are trapped and can't get out to go to the bathroom.<br />
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Ingrid's room is going to be so cute, if I may say so. Right now it is GREEN. Like yelling at you the minute you walk in-yellowy green with a darker green brush stroked over it. Hideous. I am going to paint it "rhino" from Behr. It's a nice pale gray. I got <a href="http://pinterest.com/pin/18647785927720244/">these curtains</a> for her today at Ikea, so freakin' cute. She has white furniture, and I have a bunch of fun stuff to hang on her walls, including some vintage dresses that have been hiding in her closet and need to see the light of day. And then ta-da! It's a done room! <br />
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All the other rooms are going by the wayside right now. I have placed some furniture in them and that is that. Because you know what? We have a thirty year mortgage, we're not going anywhere! I love that feeling.<br />
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Other things we have been up to--Ingrid turned four. She's still smart as hell. She got into her Montessori school. She keeps trying to put on sweatpants in the hot weather and it drives me insane. Seriously, 95degrees, you do NOT need sweatpants on!<br />
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Otis is huge. He is running, talking like crazy. When I get the iPad hooked up I will upload a video or two of him. He's hilarious, he loves the book Going on a Bear Hunt and says all the "uh oh"s and "oh no"s along with me! So cute.<br />
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I finally had surgery to remove a cyst in my throat. That was a doozy! I haven't had surgery since getting my tonsils out when I was five, so it's been thirty years. I stayed at the hospital jacked up on pain meds for a night, it was sweet. Now I have a two inch scar across my throat, it looks pretty gnarly. I am told it will fade, who knows. <br />
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And that's another update on Team Liddle. I am seriously going to try harder to be more active on here! I don't have anything major on the horizon so this time I will have more of a chance to stay on top of things!Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-6248694997167478092012-03-21T18:46:00.000-07:002012-03-21T18:47:42.691-07:00Much Needed UpdateWell, not so much needed if you don't care what goes on in my life, but if you didn't you wouldn't read this, huh? <br />
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Biggest news of late--<a href="http://ingridliddle.blogspot.com/2012/03/home-again-home-again-jiggety-jig.html">we bought a house</a>! We were saving up money and then Brendan got an unexpected bonus and we got a tax return and suddenly we had a down payment! So we started looking at houses, found that we really wanted to stay in our neighborhood, no matter how amazing the houses were on the west side, we want to be by the lake. So we narrowed our search to Bay View and found a little 3br colonial not too far from where we live now. Our home inspection is tomorrow, we're hoping nothing major is wrong with it!! We should be closing the end of April.<br />
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I cannot tell you how happy this makes me. After all the effing moving we have done in the past decade, it will be nice to be settled and really make this our home, instead of wondering if we can paint, do they allow dogs, will the neighbors be too loud for our in-bed-by-7pm kids? NO ONE WILL LIVE UPSTAIRS! No one will be doing their laundry beneath our apartment at 3am. No one will get drunk and be loud on a Friday night (seriously, no one. We haven't been out in forever.) I am so looking forward to this!<br />
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In other news, Ingrid is almost four. She is the first on the wait list at the school we want her to go to. Which hopefully means she'll get in because we did not choose another school for her to do a K4 program. And I think she's ready for school again. We have been keeping busy with playgroup at the community center and playdates with neighbors and friends. It's been crazy nice out so we've been at the park nonstop and of course Ingrid gloms onto some poor unsuspecting kid and they play together the whole time we're there. <br />
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Otis is one and walking and growing like mad. He's got a ton of teeth and I have to cut his hair because he has a moptop. He is funny and charming and as big of a ham as his sister. He loves to flirt with people wherever we go. He blows kisses now, the old ladies LOVE that.<br />
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Brendan is good, loving his job. He has gotten to bike to work most days because it's been so nice out, which is unusual for March in Wisconsin... I'm good, loving my many jobs. <a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop/ApplesauceCrafts">Applesauce Crafts</a> is going strong--I have two craft shows lined up for the end of April, early May. I am doing some consigning at a local handmade shop, the <a href="http://www.thewaxwing.com/">Waxwing</a>. It's pretty great, if I can ever find time to sew. We're outside most of the day, and when we're not I'm so damn tired I don't want to look at my sewing machine. <a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop/toadstoolvintage">Toadstool Vintage</a> is also doing well. I haven't had a ton of time to go thrifting but hopefully will do in the near future. <br />
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Now, hopefully I will not be so neglectful. But with all that's coming up in the next couple months, don't hold your breath.Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-1375007322181792022012-02-05T12:21:00.000-08:002012-02-05T12:21:52.623-08:00If you have health care, you're lucky!We just got the bill from Otis' time spent in the hospital. In December he was in for pneumonia, had to have a chest x-ray, lots of doctors came to visit, he stayed three nights. All of this adds up to a hefty bill. Luckily we have insurance through Brendan's work, but still the bill was close to $2000. Ugh, just as we started saving a big chunk of dough for our house down payment!! Will our savings ever get to just sit there and not get hit by a big bill?? <br />
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I have lived for most of my adult life without insurance, never going to the doctor when I was sick because I couldn't afford it, having a huge bill when I did have to go, which took me years to pay off. Thank god I never got into an accident or had to be admitted to a hospital! That would've killed me. When I was a full time nanny I started paying for my own insurance, and I kept that until Brendan was done with school and he got insurance through his job. He went without. When Ingrid was born, she was on state care. We are a family that was trying to get somewhere in our lives. Working hard, going to school and working full time, having a baby, trying to finish up a phd so Brendan could get a better job. And we could not have done it if something medical had happened to us. We would not have been able to pay for any bills. How sad is that?? Our whole lives could've been changed forever if we had been in an accident or had a major illness. <br />
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When we got to Michigan, we had the best insurance ever. We paid in every month from Brendan's check and then paid nothing, NOT A DIME, the rest of the time. Well, a $50 copay when we went to the emergency room, and I think I had to pay something for a scan done in another hospital that wasn't covered. But I had Ingrid's monthly checkups, my hospital stay for my throat cyst, my three weeks of bedrest before Otis was here, Otis' two weeks in the NICU. We paid something like $300 for all of that! <br />
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Why oh why can't all insurance be like that? I just don't get it! We pay into our insurance here but a three day stay at the hospital this time costs us nearly two grand. It makes no sense to me. And that might not be all we have to pay, because on top of the hospital bill we will be getting charged from each doctor who treated Otis. That is something that boggles my mind. I am paying the hospital already, but now I have to pay someone that works there, too?? Ugh.<br />
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This is not to complain about my life. I love my life, I love that we have insurance we can afford, I'm glad we're only paying two grand and not twenty grand. I am just pointing out how crazy it is that people can't afford insurance and they are the ones that have to pay through the nose to get help. And don't get me started on getting any help. If you're not miles below poverty level you can't get assistance. When I was a single 24 year old and went to the hospital, I was told I didn't make the cut for state help. I made twelve thousand dollars that year...Not exactly rolling in it, but I made too much to get assistance. <br />
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Anyway, if you are in a country with health care, thank your lucky stars you're not here in the good ol' USA, where they could care less if you're healthy or not. Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-51980270793621761062012-01-23T05:50:00.000-08:002012-01-23T05:50:36.384-08:00House HuntingIt has been pretty mellow around here, just living life every day. We are starting to look for a house, which is exciting! Brendan and I have been together for almost ten years and we have moved every year or two since then. It will be <em>so nice</em> to settle down for awhile. We looked at three houses yesterday and I have to say, it's fun to imagine yourself in some houses, but it's also depressing seeing how little we get for our price range. <br />
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I am not one to need a big house, but I do need a usable house. I need counter space in my kitchen (something I have never had, ever) and I need a room that we can live in that won't feel cluttered the minute we put a couch and toys in there. The first house we looked at had everything we need, I am so geeked about it and wish we were actually in buying mode. We're not, we are still saving but just starting to look so we know what we want when the time comes to buy. This house is updated but still has things we can do to make it our own. It has a great entryway (for all those boots and mittens that are strewn about right now...) and a cozy living room, and good sized bedrooms, and an attic that is all ready to be finished and made into a sewing studio!! Or a master bedroom but I'm leaning toward a sewing studio.<br />
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The other houses we looked at were...okay. One only had two bedrooms so it wasn't really an option, we just wanted to look. It was immaculate, these people are organizers to the extreme. I have never seen paint in the basement so well organized! They had everything labeled and put away, I was in heaven just looking at it! But it only has two bedrooms and a tiny kitchen and just wouldn't fit our needs. The third house we looked at was TINY. Like I felt claustrophobic just walking around and there was no furniture in it! The dining room was barely big enough for a two seater table, let alone a big table and high chair. The kitchen, as much as I love vintage kitchens, was too vintage. Like vintage in a way that can't really be used. And the bedrooms were teeny, did people not have full size beds back in the day?? <br />
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So we had fun looking and imagining and now I am in full decorator mode, excited for the day we are in a house we will be in for more than a year. A friend sent me a link to <a href="http://www.lifemadelovely-blog.com/">this blog</a>, that has house tours of other bloggers. I had so much fun last night after the kids went to bed just browsing and <a href="http://pinterest.com/amberliddle/">pinning</a> everything I liked. Which was a lot. Now this morning I'm looking at my sad walls and thinking of what I can do to spice things up without spending any money and using what I have. Which should be easy enough, I have bins of fabric and crap shoved in every closet, I should be able to come up with <em>something</em>...Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-67639374739792876682012-01-19T07:08:00.000-08:002012-01-19T07:08:58.676-08:00Homeschool QuestionI like the idea of homeschooling and I don't believe kids need the "socialization" that school brings. But...I know Ingrid is a social butterfly and loves to be around kids her own age. So I need to know how other homeschooling parents deal with this. Are there other homeschoolers around that you meet up with? I'm trying to get one together around here but I'm not sure how many other homeschoolers there are. There have to be more, right? I'm in a city! There are tons of people here, I'm not the <em>only </em>one thinking of homeschooling. <br />
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Any advice would be appreciated!!Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-65358628465578402802012-01-08T06:00:00.000-08:002012-01-08T06:00:35.978-08:00The Smear Campaign ContinuesNew Year's Eve brought another baby's death in Milwaukee. Another sad, tragic case that they are blaming on co-sleeping. I am completely saddened by the idea of a baby dying at such a young age (approximately two months old) and yet I am angered that it is being used to continue a smear campaign. <br />
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From <a href="http://www.jsonline.com/blogs/news/136611493.html">what I have read</a>, it goes something like this: Baby was passed from 22 yo aunt to 10 yo aunt at bedtime. 10 yo takes baby into a room with a few other kids all sleeping on two crib mattresses on the floor. Sometime in the night, someone sees baby is unconcious, which is when they go wake up the parents that are <em>in the house</em>! And somehow this is called a co-sleeping death!<br />
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A few points to this story make me really upset--one, that the baby apparently had been throwing up and having seizures the day before and yet was not at the hospital or even being closely monitered by parents. Two, that baby was left in the charge of a ten year old. I babysat as a kid, I started at 11 and was very mature for my age. But, never did I have a sick baby in my care! Three, that the parents were home but were not taking care of their own (sick) baby.<br />
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This is a case of neglect, pure and simple. A case that has everything to do with the poverty these people are living in and the fact they are obviously uneducated on how to take care of a child. The baby was passed from person to person throughout the night, when her parents were in the same house sleeping. There was no cosleeping, there were a bunch of kids shoved in a room with a baby in the middle. That is not cosleeping!! <br />
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Instead of finding a scapegoat in cosleeping, which can be a very beneficial and lovely practice, the authorities should be educating parents everywhere on how to safely care for a child with basic ideas like <em>don't leave your baby with a ten year old</em>! Or <em>don't put a 2 month old in a bed with other kids</em>! Those are easy things to teach people, right? Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-16336103351405779572012-01-05T13:02:00.000-08:002012-01-05T13:02:53.899-08:00Happy At HomeSo I thought a lot about the pros and cons of Ingrid in school and talked it over with the mister. I thought he'd be against taking her out, since he's a pretty traditional school kind of guy. But luckily he didn't have any major issues with it. I think he's noticed a change in her, too. And I don't know, it just seems my gut instinct that it was school that made for the change in her attitude. <br />
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One thing I have issues with is how gregarious Ingrid is. I worry she needs that time with other kids her age. Today we went to the children's museum and she ran right up to a kid her age and said "HI! Let's be friends, okay?" And then they played together until we went to the next installation. She loves other kids, I don't want her to be denied that. Are play dates, story times and outings enough? I kind of like it because it will mean she and Otis kind of have to rely on each other and play together, and if I have siblings, I might as well have ones that like each other, right? <br />
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Anyway, this week has been so nice, just playing and painting, coloring, going outside. Ingrid has helped me with laundry, wiping off the tables, cleaning the bathroom, making dinner. She has had zero temper tantrums and only a couple times she cried, both at the end of the day when everyone is crabby and hungry and tired. Otherwise she is singing, playing with her toys, coming up to me and hugging me, saying "I like you, mom." She plays with Otis, shares with him, is overall just happier.<br />
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It just makes me happy. I have to sign her up for next fall already next week, which feels kind of funny, like we just made this big decision to keep her home but I have to decide about next fall right now. Oh well, we'll cross that bridge when we get there. Maybe 4 is magic for her, she'll be totally fine. And if not, I won't hesitate to pull her out again!Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-27647082187834701832012-01-03T10:45:00.000-08:002012-01-03T10:45:49.617-08:00To School or Not?Yeesh, it's been almost two months since I've posted last. Sorry, guys, it's been crazy busy! But I have been thinking about this whole school thing for awhile now, so I thought I'd post my thoughts and see what the wise blogger women had to say.<br />
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Ingrid is in K3 Montessori this year. She likes it. The K3 class stays until lunch, then most go home, but they do have an afternoon part they can stay at, with lunch, recess, a story, and resting time. Ingrid likes school so much she asked to stay for the afternoon. Which means she's in school from 9am until 3:30pm. Every day. <br />
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Part of me finds this just fine. She likes it, she never cries when I leave her, she never is upset when Otis and I walk out the door. She has friends at school, loves her teachers. I like that it doesn't interfere with Otis' nap time anymore, since he sleeps until 1-2pm. I also like not having to drop her off to school and then turning around a couple hours later to pick her up again. <br />
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But...<br />
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I feel like school has made her so sassy. And emotional. The past few weeks have been horrible, with temper tantrums and crying at the drop of a hat and not listening and lots of yelling. I was completely at a loss. Then we had off for the holidays. We got back into our routine of a slow morning with lots of play, coloring, puzzles, running errands, then resting time in the afternoon. Temper tantrums slowly faded, my happy girl was back, and I was so much more calm having her home. <br />
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She loves to pull out this bag of scrap fabric I have and play fabric store. Or play with her guys and her new castle she got for Christmas. And I love that she will do that for hours! Or read seventy books in a row if she feels like it. Otis is pretty much the same way, too, so instead of rush rush rush, put a screaming baby in the car seat, run into school, drive home, more screaming baby, back in the car, etc etc, we just hung out, didn't drive anywhere for a couple days at a time, everyone was happy.<br />
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School was supposed to start today, only I thought it was tomorrow. So we went to the library for story time, the kids had a blast, Ingrid was loving being with all the other kids. And I thought really, tomorrow we have to go back to the hustle and bustle of school time? I don't wanna!! Part of me just wants to keep her home until K4 starts next fall. She is happy at home, I'm happy with her at home (not one of those parents who loves the start of school, which I DO understand, but for us it's so much easier to be home!!) But what to do? Is it me being selfish because I just don't want to do the school run anymore and be rushed in the morning? Would it be teaching her something like you can quit if you don't like it? Is that a bad thing?<br />
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I think the main thing I'm learning is that school is SO not on my high priority list right now. If she has to miss a day, it totally does not bother me. Jesus, if she misses the next semester it wouldn't bother me! I could see her staying home until Otis goes to kindergarten, honestly. So if it's easier for me, I am game to keep her home. But, is that fair to her? She likes school. She likes home, too, but am I keeping her from something? We do story time and there's a kid's time at the Children's Museum, too, so we'd have our outings, and we always have play dates. <br />
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What to do??????Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-1609292932578806852011-11-10T11:57:00.000-08:002011-11-10T11:57:51.735-08:00Cosleeping Smear CampaignI just found out about this ad campaign that will be starting soon in Milwaukee. I am <em>absolutely sickened</em> by this and I am going to try to find out what I can do to get it stopped!! Ads of sleeping babies with KNIVES next to them saying sleeping next to a parent is just as dangerous! <br />
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Here's a <a href="http://www.jsonline.com/news/milwaukee/ad-campaign-unveiled-as-another-cosleeping-death-is-announced-s030073-133552808.html">link</a> to the article in our local paper. You can see the ads there. <br />
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I am absolutely dumbstruck by how uninformed people can be! One of the things that strikes me about this is it says infant deaths was 5.9 per 1000 in whites and 14.1 for blacks. Obviously this has something to do with the inner city and poverty. Another article I read, which I have to search for, said something about how people aren't cosleeping for any baby benefits, but because they <em>don't have a crib</em> for their baby. They are sleeping on the couch or in a recliner because they don't have a bed. Perhaps we should figure out a way to get cribs to low income families instead?<br />
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It makes me so mad to see these ads. Instead of scaring the shit out people who might not know what to do, let's educate them, shall we? There are reputable places to go to find out more about safe cosleeping and bedsharing, like <a href="http://www.llli.org/nb/nbjulaug08p34.html">La Leche League</a>, or <a href="http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/co-sleeping-yes-no-sometimes">Dr. Sears</a>. And they all have similar guidelines, why not make an ad showing correct cosleeping techniques instead of a picture of a <strong><u>baby with a meat cleaver</u></strong>???<br />
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This just brings up so many emotions because being a mother is so hard. They don't come with instructions, you get told so many different things on what's right or what works. Then you have people intent on telling you every scary story of anything bad that ever happened to anyone they've ever known. It's nerve wracking to be a new parent. One thing I wish I would've known when having Ingrid is to follow my own instinct. To follow Ingrid's wishes and needs. But instead I was told to not hold her or she'd be clingy. To get her on a schedule so she would be easier to deal with. To make her sleep on her own, at certain times.<br />
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I tried those things and felt stressed out because they didn't work for me. So I held her. I fed her when she wanted to eat. I had her in our room, in a vibrating seat because she didn't want to sleep in a crib at first. I always felt like I was doing something wrong because I thought I should be able to get her to sleep in a crib--because people told me she should. Not because it's a well known fact babies love cribs at a month old, but because they <strong>want</strong> babies to love cribs at a month old!<br />
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And then with Otis I finally felt comfortable enough to say fuck it and do what felt right to me. He took all his naps in the Moby for the first six months, he ate whenever he wanted, even if it meant getting up four times at night (no, he's not sleeping through the night at eight weeks, are you crazy???) He was in our room for eight months. And not once did I feel like I was doing anything wrong, I felt like I was doing things right! Because they worked! He was a happy, healthy baby, and I know it was because he got his needs met. <br />
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I have been thinking of this for awhile because there's a group I started on Facebook for local moms and some of the things people post just make me sad. "My daughter is nine weeks old and won't sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time in her crib. It's driving me crazy!" So wear that little girl! Get your house cleaned while she sleeps :) "My daughter loves to be swaddled but I want to know how to get her out of it, I'm afraid she'll have sleep issues if she is swaddled for too long." Really? Your kid will tell you they want to be swaddled or not swaddled. Ingrid didn't like it at all and was out of swaddling after a couple weeks. Otis loved it and was swaddled for months. Trust your babies to tell you what they need!<br />
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And you know what? They don't need to sleep with a knife. They do, sometimes, however, need to sleep with their mother. Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-13962513395732098712011-09-30T05:03:00.000-07:002011-09-30T05:03:11.069-07:00My Little NerdMy daughter loves school--<strong><em>loves it</em></strong>! The first week she was a little hesitant, she liked it but still wanted us to wait with her until they lined up to go to their room. Now, though, she is pushing me away, giving me a quick hug and saying okay, bye mom! When I picked her up yesterday she was gushing about how she did the pink tower all by herself! (I didn't know what that was, but I was proud that she was proud of herself!)<br />
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Yesterday was an open house to show the parents the room, meet the teacher, and have the kids show us their favorite activities. Brendan hadn't been to her school yet, so it was fun for Ingrid to show her dad where she went. She showed us how she does the pink tower (blocks of different sizes stacked up about 15 high) and buttoning, and coloring. I just loved to watch her do things the right way ("we push in our chairs when we get up, Mom.") and she just seemed to really love what she was doing. <br />
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I am once again <em>SO GLAD</em> we have public montessori schools! This is probably the perfect situation for us. I was worried about "regular" school for Ingrid, but I know she's not getting enough stimulation with just me and Otis at home. This way she gets to go to school but is challenged and her mind is worked in interesting ways. I am so happy!Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-18221440382112702952011-09-21T12:01:00.000-07:002011-09-21T12:01:12.658-07:00The Beginning of the EndI think my time as a nursing mom is coming to an end. After three months of on and off strikes, supplementing with bottles, and worrying if my supply is down, if Otis is getting enough, etc, we are now down to one nursing a day, er night. Just the night feeding is me, the other two are bottles. <br />
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I have mixed feelings. Brendan asked me if I was sad when I told him I hadn't nursed the whole day and I thought it was maybe going to be the end of breastfeeding. I'm not sad really. I don't really know what I feel. I kind of feel like a failure for not making it a year. I kind of feel like I should be trying harder, which means I'm giving up, and no one wants to be a quitter.<br />
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But then I feel like it just doesn't matter that much. Otis is growing and healthy and has had nine months of mama milk. I know it's kind of a cop out, but that's better than nothing right? It's just getting so stressful, worrying if he's getting anything, watching him suck at what seems to be an empty breast. Pumping and getting nothing, and then getting confused because should that tell me I'm right that I might not have much milk coming in, or should I not pay attention to pumping because it's not like the real thing? <br />
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Blah. I don't know. It's easier to breastfeed, for sure, but then it's kind of nice looking at that bottle, seeing it go from 8oz to 6 to 4 to empty, knowing he's got a full belly. It's strange not actually feeling him eating, though. I just see his mouth working but I don't <em>feel</em> it! It's very strange. <br />
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How long did your kids nurse? Did you ever slow down like this and then pick back up, or when it went down to one nursing, did it stay that way? Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-19366945191494648942011-09-13T13:03:00.000-07:002011-09-13T13:03:29.081-07:00The School RunSo, after getting used to the idea of Ingrid <em>not</em> going to school this year, we ended up getting into one. It's not our first choice, we have to drive there, but it's Montessori, it's free, and it's close even though it's not walking distance.<br />
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I have issues with the school. I'm not sure what the deal is, but it's an old middle school that they have split into the Montessori downstairs and a high school upstairs. Ingrid's room is bright and cheery, but you have to walk down this tunnel like corridor in the basement to get there. The teachers are all really nice, but frazzled. When I picked Ingrid up at lunchtime yesterday I could barely say hi to the teacher. It was just a madhouse! This morning when we dropped her off, there were about ten billion crying kids, which just broke my heart. Like not just whimpering, but full on bawling and screaming mama. And we were in the lunchroom so it was like echoey and loud and Ingrid just looked at me like "you are going to leave me <strong><em>here</em></strong>???" I stayed with her until they lined up for class.<br />
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She is happy there, she is smiley when we walk in, she didn't cry when Otis and I left, she seems happy to be there. I just don't like the chaos. I am so used to our leisurely mornings, it is a little jarring to go to this loud clusterf**k at 9am. Hopefully things will calm down as the school year goes on. <br />
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But it got me thinking of the other school runs I've done in the past and how very different they are from this one. When I was a nanny I would walk the kids to school and pick them up. I did it for a couple different families, and they were all at the same school in the same nice neighborhood in a suburb of Milwaukee. The school run there is moms that don't work walking over or driving their luxury SUVs. The moms chat about whatever while waiting for their kids, the kids come out in their expensive clothes and go to their after school activities. <br />
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Ingrid's school is in the Mexican part of town. It's bilingual so everyone speaks Spanish. There are a handful of white kids there. School starts at 9am but there is a subsidized breakfast program that most kids take part in, so that's why they start out in the lunch room. There is an afterschool program, too, so kids could theoretically be at school from 7:45am until 6pm. Because their parents have to work. They have nothing else to do with their kids. It's so different than what I'm used to!<br />
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We'll see how the next month or so goes. If Ingrid starts acting like she doesn't like it, I will take her out. She can go to the neighborhood Montessori next year for K4. I love the three hours she's away and Otis naps, but I love having her home, too. Either way...Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-78447303594772801282011-09-09T06:44:00.000-07:002011-09-09T06:44:18.481-07:00Go On Without Me.Brendan just left with Ingrid for a two night camping excursion. I am here with Otis, and I could not be more excited! Since Otis is teething and therefore not sleeping, I just didn't want to deal with that in a tent with the whole family not getting sleep. And Brendan's parents are out there already, so they'd be bothered, not to mention anyone in earshot of a screaming baby...It's just best we stay home.<br />
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When I told Brendan my thoughts on this, he agreed, but said he'd like it if I could change my mind. I have to admit, even if Otis weren't teething, the idea of having the house to myself with only Otis is rather charming. He's sleeping right now and I don't have a three year old tugging at me to color or play or put on a Clifford DVD. I never get time to myself (and look how myself is me and a baby! I'm not even really alone, just more alone than usual!) so staying home just sounded so appealing.<br />
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I even went so far as to say this could be a new tradition in the making--Brendan's parents go to the same campground every year the week after Labor Day, so Brendan could take the kids for the weekend and go camping with his family while Mama stays home! He looked appalled at that idea. "I don't want this to be a tradition! I want to go camping as a family!"<br />
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That got me thinking--am I just selfish? My mom always relished any time alone, and now that I'm a SAHM I can see why. The days are a constant barrage of wants, needs, cries, messes, laundry, and dishes. From 6am until the blessed 7pm bedtime there is chaos. Most of the time I'm okay with that, but a weekend, a <em>whole three days</em>, without it?? Count me in!<br />
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But it's not just that. I love the idea of Brendan spending time alone with the kids. It happens far too rarely. I am one to jump in the car and take a six hour road trip by myself with the kids, spending a week or so with my mom or friends, but he doesn't do that. I spend tons of time alone with them, but other than a couple hours at the zoo, he does not. I never did anything with my dad, ever. I cannot remember one single time we hung out just the two of us, or even just him and the kids. Scratch that--my mom worked a New Year's Eve in 1984 or so, he had us that night. All I can remember, honest to god. <br />
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So the idea of being alone is awesome, but the idea of Brendan having Ingrid this weekend, making memories that just the two of them share, is even better! Because I'm with the kids all day long, they tend to cling to me. I think they need time with good ol' dad to see he's in charge, too. And that he's fun!<br />
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So, they packed up the car and left an hour or so ago and I put Otis down for a nap. I am sitting here drinking coffee, on the computer, making a list of things to get done this weekend. And the house is silent. And I am loving it.Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-65143438055629822512011-08-11T05:41:00.000-07:002011-08-11T05:41:40.738-07:00GivingYesterday was the best day. No whining from Ingrid, no screaming from either of us. And you know why? Because I played with her, read her books, we went for a walk and played at the park. I gave her what she needed. I have been forgetting her needs lately, and I feel really bad.<br />
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I was just thinking of how everyone always told me she was such a good baby, and now people always comment on how sweet and laid back Otis is. My reply to that is that I give him what he needs. I hold him if he wants to be held, I feed him when he's hungry. Just meeting his needs makes him happy the rest of the time. And then I realized I don't do that with Ingrid. <br />
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I tell her it's not time to eat yet, I say just wait a minute when she asks me to read her a book, I have a million things on my mind instead of focusing on her. And when I don't focus on her, she starts acting up. Whining, crying, wetting her pants. And then I get mad, and I yell at her, and then I feel bad and hug her. And really, wouldn't it be easier just to pay attention to her in the first place? <br />
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So yesterday I did laundry only when I could make it downstairs, I cleaned up only when she was occupied with something, I read her the stupid Clifford books she loves so much, and she was in the best mood. Sometimes it's so easy to forget the simple things that make our lives easier. I feel silly for even having to remember this: Pay attention to your kid. Duh. But life has gotten in the way lately and I need to regroup and remember to live with my kids, not just have them at my side while I go about my way. <br />
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This weekend we will be at the cottage with my family. I am so excited because it will be fun for all! Tons of play time! And hopefully less whining and screaming. Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-25085251960235645072011-08-02T07:31:00.000-07:002011-08-02T07:31:04.305-07:00Happy World Breastfeeding Week!I just saw it's World Breastfeeding Week! Yay. Someone on Facebook asked the question "what do you love about breastfeeding?" Let me tell you:<br />
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1. I don't have to worry about water temp. Not to hot, not too cold. I hate when the bottle temp is wrong and his royal highness gags like I'm giving him sewage sludge. <br />
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2. No clumps! Nothing like trying to stir and shake a bottle and have clumps that clog the nipple. If it won't dissolve in water, what's it doing to my kid's intestines?<br />
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3. My nipples are always on right. Otis' bottles have a vented nipple that you have to have on <em>just right</em> to get the vent to work. <br />
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4. No fumbling around at 3am making a magical potion, spilling formula all over the counter, that ends up being sticky and gross the next day. My magical potion is ready made and easy to get to in the middle of the night.<br />
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5. Special treatment :) We were at a baseball game this weekend, it was HOTTTT and sweaty, and I got to go to the First Aid room and sit behind a curtain on a comfy chair in the air conditioning so I could nurse Otis. There were three other moms there and we were all laughing how we weren't in any hurry for our babes to stop eating, since that would mean we had to go back out in the heat. <br />
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6. Looking down and seeing this:<br />
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Hello, happy baby!!Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-77114433329921805872011-07-24T17:36:00.000-07:002011-07-24T17:36:04.590-07:00A Couple UpdatesFirst of all, an update on our family time. I think we've been doing pretty well at it. Brendan has been taking little bike rides after the kids are in bed, so he gets some alone time. I have been sleeping when Otis does on Saturday mornings, so that helps me catch up on some sleep. And I also just had to show Brendan that family time does not have to happen only on the weekend and does not have to include a trip somewhere. <br />
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For example, I was sitting in our bed with both kids, we were reading bedtime books. Otis was smiling and giggling at Ingrid, she was kissing his hands to get another laugh, and I just thought, okay, here's family time. Where was Brendan? Out on the computer. So I called him in and told him if he wanted family time, he'd have to be around his family, not in the other room.<br />
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This weekend has been super fun. We went to the children's museum with friends, so Brendan took Ingrid around while I sat in the baby area and talked to a friend. It was family time but also hanging out time. I got some sewing done while Brendan played with the kids in the backyard. He's out right now by himself. I feel like this weekend we did a good job balancing. Who knows if it will last, but it works right now!<br />
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I think Otis getting older is helping. I know Brendan used to feel helpless when Otis was a newborn because he couldn't feed him. He couldn't figure out how to calm him down. But now Otis is a lot easier to figure out, he doesn't cry very often, and I've been trying to make sure I'm not the only one putting him down to bed. I did that with Ingrid and I'm totally regretting she never got used to anyone else putting her to bed!<br />
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Which brings us to Otis and feedings. He's been pretty good about nursing, he does most of the time. But sometimes, like today, his teeth are killing him and he just refuses. So he gets a bottle. It's not often, and I don't really mind. I wish I didn't have to, but I also don't want to deal with a screaming baby. We seem to have figured it out. He's eating solids three times a day now and that helps, too. Not every single feed has to be from me, Brendan can help with those. <br />
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Ingrid is enjoying her Montessori program. She cried when we left her last week, though, it broke my heart. The teachers said two seconds after I was gone she was fine, so I guess it's not that big of a deal. She comes home with lots of stories about her new little friends, and tons of paintings. What the hell do you do with all these paintings?? We hung some up in the kitchen, I'm going to save some for wrapping gifts for the grandparents, and I will recycle the rest I guess. <br />
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I have to get her signed up for the K3 Montessori still. I tried to go there last week but no one was there. Can't get a hold of anyone on the phone. The message says their hours are 7-4 but I think that's not during July. The school is in a shitty neighborhood and it made me sad that I was hesitant about sending her there. The teachers are awesome, why do I care if there's ghetto apartments across the street? Am I a snob? Either way, if we can get her into the neighborhood Montessori next year we will. I'd much rather walk her to school than drive her downtown...<br />
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Anyway, that's our news. Or non-news, really. It's not very exciting. It's lazy summer, we're pretty happy and everyone's healthy. We're enjoying being in Milwaukee, and we're excited about buying a house soon. Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-3579606463118633412011-06-27T05:32:00.000-07:002011-06-27T05:32:31.190-07:00Family TimeEvery weekend Brendan and I have the same argument about family time. I understand where each of us is coming from but it seems like we can never get the right balance.<br />
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See, as a stay at home mom, I am with my kids all day every day. I don't get sick days, I don't get coffee breaks, I work from 5:30 am to about 9 pm at night. During the week we find things to do--playdates, trips to the children's museum, the zoo, whatever. By the weekend, I am so ready for a break that I tend to just want to hand the kids over to Brendan and go hide somewhere. <br />
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Brendan, however, would like family time. So he's always saying what should we do today? Let's go to the zoo! Let's take a walk! Let's go the park! I say okay, you take the kids, that'll be fun. I'll take a nap, or get some sewing done. Then he gets mad because he wants family time. <br />
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I don't know, I feel like we spend plenty of time together as a family. I don't know what B's expectations are. We went to the farmer's market together on Saturday, we had a cookout with friends Saturday night. We went to his parent's house together yesterday morning. We all were outside together yesterday. And yet he still got mad we didn't have enough family time. What does he want?? I don't want to go to the zoo on a hot busy Saturday. I don't want to take another walk to the park we go to almost every day during the week. I want to go read a book or sew. I want to get coffee with a friend. I want to catch up on sleep. <br />
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So basically we need to come up with a plan. What do other stay at home moms do with this situation? I'm so sick of my kids by Saturday morning that I just want a break!! And Brendan's tired after a long work week and he wants to play but is also needing some time to himself. So we have to figure out how each of us gets alone time, family time, and couple time. Which we haven't really figured out yet.Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-64020970757331523602011-06-22T07:26:00.000-07:002011-06-22T07:26:54.156-07:00My Big Girl, at SCHOOL!Seriously, people, Ingrid is huge now! She is just getting so big and mature and she just turned three. I feel like it was forever ago that she was a baby. <br />
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Yesterday was her first day at preschool. She loved it!! As soon as she woke up she was begging to go. She wore her backpack with her pjs until it was time to get dressed. She ran up the stairs into Miss Carrie's house, ran right to her first project, and didn't even look at me when I said good bye. I said it a couple more times until she finally called over her shoulder "Okay, mama, bye!" <br />
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Some people cry at leaving their child for the first time. I did not. I immediately got home, put Otis down for his nap, and sewed like a madwoman! I got SO MUCH accomplished in the few hours she was gone, it was awesome! I got washcloths listed, made a couple sets of cloth wipes and listed those, even got the front of a robot quilt done. Otis was asleep for a couple hours, then he woke up and was cuddly and smiley, then he ate, and it was time to go get Ingrid. What a great morning!<br />
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The teachers said she just jumped right in, and they were helping her learn what each thing was for. "Miss Jamie could barely keep up with her," they said, which is code for damn, she's got a lot of energy! But they took it in stride and seemed to like her enthusiasm. Good. We came home with some paintings and drawings she had done and she passed out for a two hour nap directly after coming home. <br />
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Tomorrow is another day, we'll see how she does with it after the novelty wears off. I have a feeling she'll like it, she needs social time with other people, as she is a social person and is stuck at home with me and her little brother all the time. When we go to the park and there are other kids there, she runs over and gives them these huge hugs that make me think she is starved for other kids! <br />
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We also found out about a couple other Montessori public schools in the area that have openings for their K3 program, so it looks like we will be able to send her in the fall! Exciting! The one in our neighborhood is one of the most popular schools in the city so they basically laughed at me when I asked if I get her in. There is a 90 child waiting list. So we have to drive her to another school instead of walking to our neighborhood school, which pisses me off. But, what are you gonna do? I will enroll her in another school for this year and then for K4 hopefully we can get her in the one in our neighborhood. <br />
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All this from a person that wasn't even sure I wanted to send her to school at all! Brendan is amazed by my switch. But I think it's all to do with Montessori. It really seems to gel well with Ingrid's personality, and it's not the same old school like I had. I just see her being so advanced and mature for her age and I cringe to think of her with the basic stuff I had to do. I was SO bored in school. I don't want that for her. If she can be in a Montessori school I think it will be better for her. Yay MPS for having Montessori schools--like six or seven of them! Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-80161935926313250152011-06-20T05:49:00.000-07:002011-06-20T05:49:05.533-07:00Preschool.I signed Ingrid up for a summer program that some Montessori teachers are doing. It's in one of the teacher's homes, Ingrid will go for two mornings and have lunch there. We went to an open house yesterday to see what the set up is, meet other kids and their parents, and talk to the teachers. <br />
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Ingrid was in love the minute she stepped inside! They have three rooms set up with all the goodies from their classrooms. It all looks so inviting, but I was terrified to see glass things and ceramic things and other breakable things right at Ingrid's level. She is such a tornado! She breaks shit all the time! I immediately started to feel apprehensive.<br />
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There are kids that older and have gone to Montessori for a couple years, so they know what everything is for. Ingrid, however, is brand new to the whole game, and just went from one thing to another. I don't know why I felt apologetic, but I did! I was like oh my god, she will get into everything and knock shit over, and they'll all think I'm a bad parent!<br />
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I have never ever felt this way before! I've been pretty confident in my parenting skills, I love my child and her feisty ways, and I do believe a child's personality can outweigh what their parents do (aka, it's not my fault she's such a spaz!) <br />
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So yeah, it was a real eye opener. I know she'll have fun but now I'll all worried that the teachers won't be able to control her or they won't like her because she's such a handful. I know what a handful she is and I love her because I'm her mother, but other people don't have that connection. I think I just have to take a deep breath and know that they are teachers, they have seen a lot of different children in their time, they know how to control other people's kids. Right?Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-445507993520636154.post-48729716701838798122011-06-17T18:28:00.000-07:002011-06-17T18:28:24.304-07:00Meltdowns and TantrumsI bet you thought I was going to talk about Ingrid's tantrums, didn't you? But no, I'm the one having a meltdown. At the end of the week I am just so tired. Of everything. Of everyone. I'm tired of doing another load of laundry, I'm tired of unloading the goddamn dishwasher again. I'm tired of hearing Ingrid ask me to get her water bottle that is two feet away from her. I'm tired of Otis teething. I'm just tired.<br />
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So tonight I threw Otis' bottle across the room. It was in my hand, I felt mad, I threw it. And you know what? It felt kinda good. I totally get why Ingrid has these tantrums and hits things and screams. It feels good. Sometimes you don't wanna use your words. <br />
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I was going to write this post about how sick I am of being the only one that can ever do anything around here, but then Ingrid called out from her room "Mama? I'm sorry I yelled at you. I love you." And I realized that yes, it's a hard fucking job, but it's worth it. I get to see Otis' drooly smiles first thing in the morning, I get to give Ingrid kisses and hugs when she's groggy from her nap. I get to do these things now because that's what phase we are in, and some day it will all change and I won't get to do them. So I should quit complaining (and throwing things) and embrace the fact my children need and want me. Amber Liddlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08049947191143341720noreply@blogger.com2