I'm almost six months along now, can you believe it?? And just yesterday it finally hit me FOR REAL that we are going to have another baby. It's been all in the hypothetical up until then. Yes, someday we'll have a baby, someday these tiny diapers will be put on something other than a Cabbage Patch Kid. And then yesterday I stood in front of the mirror and looked at my expanding belly and felt little kicks and rolls and it hit me--there is a baby in there!!
Ingrid and I went to Salvation Army and had a great time searching through the kid's clothes. I found some amazing things for my friend Heather's etsy shop 3RingCircus, I got some new "cozy pants" for Ingrid, and I got a little tiny newborn outfit that has a moose on it, and the feet are tiny moose, too! It's for bringing wee one home from the hospital. Again, it hit me that we will go into the hospital with a big belly and come home with a wriggling newborn, amazing!
I have been pretty down lately about not knowing where we'll be going next, as Brendan looks for jobs. We're not going to be in this apartment for too long, so I don't see the point in making it very homey. And then I get depressed because there are no pictures hung or curtains or anything. And I have boxes of stuff for when Otis comes but I can't do anything with them, no nesting at all, because we will either move before he gets here or right after. It's frustrating. But yesterday I got over it and decided that I should just do little things to make myself feel at home again, even if it's only for a few months. So I'm making curtains for my kitchen today out of this cute lemon print fabric I've had on hand. And I have a matching yellow rug I found in the basement.
I cleaned up the basement finally yesterday--what a chore! Ingrid used to have her play room down there and then over the summer, because we didn't have a dehumidifier, we got mold. After cleaning all that up, I just threw stuff down there, and every time I'd go do laundry it would bug me that I wasn't more organized. And that we had about five lamps from old apartment dwellers that didn't work shoved under the stairs. And that we got more toys for Ingrid and they were taking over my living room and I really really wanted a place for her to go play again. SO...a little sweep and mop, throw out old lamps, move baby boxes under stairs, move furniture around, wash rug, and move toys downstairs again, and there you go. A playroom again!
So things will change, as they always do, and I have to remind myself that I can roll with it, deal with it, it will all work out. Some days I just want to be settled somewhere, to know we're going to be somewhere for awhile. And others I realize we're still in the early stages of our marriage and family, and this is what we'll look back on and laugh at how young and carefree we were. Someday.