Another Post About the Second Kid

I'm still enjoying the fact that I'm way more laid back about Otis.  Every day I realize how things change and we go with the flow and change what we need to and I just don't stress.  His "bed time" which I use loosely, is ever changing.  I usually get him ready and then bundle him up in a blanket and either nurse him to sleep or he hangs out in my arms for awhile and eventually falls asleep while I'm snuggled on the couch.  Then when I'm ready for bed I bring him in with me. 

With Ingrid I would rock her and feed her and she would take forever to fall asleep and I would get so irritated because the day had been super long and I just wanted to relax finally.  I would put her in bed and listen to her cry and sigh and go back in.  It was stressful. 

Naptimes are similar.  I put Otis in the Moby and go about our way in the morning, either cleaning the house or doing laundry or walking to the park.  Whatever the case, Otis falls asleep almost instantly and will sleep for an hour or so.  I never pay attention to how long he's been sleeping.  This happens a couple times a day, he sleeps here and there in the Moby or in my arms while I try to rest in the afternoon.  I don't pay attention to how many naps he gets, or how long they are.  I don't worry about how much sleep he's getting or not getting, I just go by his personality.  If he seems like he needs to sleep, I put him in the Moby and walk around. 

With Ingrid I would try to put her down for her naps at the same time every day, I was stuck at home for nap time.  I would freak out if she didn't fall asleep right away or sleep for long enough or especially if she didn't sleep at all.  Worry worry worry.  Is that inevitable in the life of a first time mom?? 

Otis is also just fed whenever.  I don't know if it's been one hour, three hours, four hours.  I just hear him get fussy, try to figure out which side he should be on, and nurse him.  And again, I follow his moods and he lets me know when he needs to eat. 

With Ingrid I bottle fed and therefore was so concerned with how many ounces she was consuming, I knew in x-amount of hours I had to feed her.  And oh man, just having to travel with bottles and formula and water, it was so much extra work.  I'm so glad to be breast feeding this time around!

It sounds like I am regretting what I did with Ingrid, and that's not really true.  Sure I wish I had known I could've nursed  her with my meds, and yes I wish I had known about babywearing sooner than six months old.  But I did the best I could, and believe it or not, I still consider myself to have been a laid back first time mom.  I'm just realizing how much I've learned in the past three years and how much my parenting style has changed and how much better this works for me.

What have you done differently with baby number 2 or 3? 

Sleepy Sleepy

Guess what?  Otis is a sleeper!  Hot damn.  It's made me think a lot about kids and sleeping, all the things I've read on the subject, how hard I've tried to get Ingrid to be a sleeper. 

Ingrid was an okay sleeper when she was a baby.  She'd go to bed around 7pm, wake up at 3am, then sleep again until 7am.  I was okay with that, it became totally normal and if she didn't wake up at 3, I still would.  It was always a quick bottle and back to sleep, it never dragged out or anything. 

But...how long does that need to go on for?  All these other moms would talk about their kids sleeping through the night and when did Ingrid start to and what are you doing about it?  Blah blah blah.  I would just tell myself that it was sort of like she was sleeping through the night.  The technical term was for sleep between midnight and five am, she just did her five hour stretch earlier. 

Alas, it went on and on and on.  Ingrid never got out of that middle of the night waking.  After she stopped having bottles, it was calling out for her nuk.  After we got rid of the nuk, it was that she needed her blanket on.  Now it's anything--her blanket, a drink of water, her pillow, she's lonely, a simple "I need you so much, mama!"  But it is still going on, wake ups at 3am and she's almost 3 years old...

And then there's my Fat Man.  This kid amazes me!  He usually naps until 6pm, then wakes up and has alert time where he loves to be talked to.  He does that until about 9pm, then I put his pjs on, a clean diaper, swaddle him up, and nurse him to sleep.  He sleeps in his bouncy seat right next to our bed and will fall asleep around 10pm.  Most nights he sleeps until 5-5:30am.  Without a PEEP all night long.  And I heard breastfed babies wake more often because the milk is more easily digested! 

So here's the thing--what have I done differently?  Nothing that I can think of.  We started a bedtime routine of bath, books and bed at 2 months old with Ingrid.  We had a fan in her room, we had low lights, we were quiet.  She's just always been a really light sleeper.  With Otis I do the same thing, he has a fan on, low lights, the house is quiet because Ingrid's already in bed.  He just ends up staying asleep.  Is it luck?  Is it the gods showing us not all kids are as complicated as our little Ingrid?  Is it second baby syndrome, where they just go with the flow because they have to?  Who knows!

All I know is that it's even harder to get up with Ingrid at 3am now because her three month old brother is sleeping through the night like she never has!  Last night after the fourth time of her crying out for something I got mad and told her to be quiet and go to sleep, NOW!  She said "Mama, be nice to me!"  I was about to scream, be nice to ME.  SLEEP.  FOR ONCE. 

*sigh*

We Have Good Days, Too.

I just wanted to be sure to document that it's not all hormones and stress around here.  Yesterday Ingrid and I had a lovely day.  We got up, put on a jazz station on the radio, made some wipes for our blog friends in Switzerland, and just relaxed.  We spent time together, Ingrid helping me with the scraps and dancing around the table.  After a rest, we went to the post office to send things out, then to the grocery store to get our Thanksgiving goodies.  And then we played with blocks, colored in her new Christmas coloring books, and somewhere in there she played by herself nicely.  Oh, and did I mention she slept until 8am?? 

Last night everyone in the house was up for some reason.  Ingrid got up three times saying she had to go to the bathroom, then when she was on the toilet she'd start crying that she didn't have to go and was cold, as if it was my fault she was in this situation.  As if I'd gotten her out of her warm, cozy bed to sit naked on the toilet at 1:30, 3, and 5am...I also had pregnancy insomnia, again, and was up twiddling my thumbs for a couple hours.  And at 6:10am Ingrid ran into the bedroom with some clothes "Mama!  I picked out my clothes for today!  Let's go play!"  Ugh. 

So, today started out being really crappy, with me yelling and getting really annoyed by every little thing that happened, but I've really been trying to turn those days around.  So we went to a friend's house, the girls dressed up like fairies, we ate warm zucchini bread, and Ingrid slept on the way home.  She let me rest for a whole hour, and then we played and made English muffin pizzas, and I let her make as big of a mess as she wanted to.  We got along, had a good day, and ended it with huge hugs and lots of I love yous.  Like it should be.

I just feel like it takes so much effort to be the happy parent that is patient and kind, and lately I just don't have time for it.  I am so freakin' tired all the time and I just want to have temper tantrums, too!!  But yesterday and today showed me that it's worth that little bit of effort to not fight with my two year old...It makes everyone so much happier!

My Sleeping Child

Brendan and I are on a mini vacation away from Ingrid this weekend.  My mom took her to her side of the state and I've been calling for daily updates.  As much as I love that I can leave Ingrid with her Gramma for a few days without worrying about her, it really does bug me that she's a perfect angel for my mom!!  Our sleeping patterns as of late have been her waking up at 6am, being ready to play play play or being crabby, either of which is hard to deal with before coffee.  She doesn't take a nap but acts crabby as all get out by 3pm.  She cries and screams when it's time to take a bath, even though two seconds into it she's having fun.  She goes to bed at 7 and I finally FINALLY get a break!

Talking to my mom today, though, it seems Little Miss Liddle is sleeping like an absolute champ for Gramma.  Which is good, don't get me wrong, but what the hell???  Taking hour long naps, going to bed at 7 with no problems, sleeping until 7:30 or 8am!!  Whose child is this, and why can't she come stay at our house??  My mom says it's because she's outside all the time (they're at the horse farm on the lake) and that it's quiet, but she could be outside all day long, and our house is not noisy by any means, and she'd still give me troubles with her sleeping...

I remember babysitting as a high schooler and the parents would be so surprised that their kids went to bed easily.  I always thought what?  What's the big deal?  You put a kid to bed and they go to sleep, right?  Now as a parent I realize kids know how to push your buttons...And we let them, because we're so damn tired we don't have it in us to fight them...

Well, at least I've gotten to take multiple naps this weekend.  And Ingrid has apparently caught up on all the sleep she usually misses.  So we'll be well rested when we see each other again, and we can get right back into our lovely pattern of not sleeping.  Dammit.

UUUUGGGGHHHH.

Last night was our first night of no nuks.  Since Ingrid didn't take a nap yesterday she was tired and whiny by 6pm.  She was in bed by 7:30, crying but yawning in between howls, so I figured she'd calm down and zonk out.  She did.  Aaaahhh!  She actually fell asleep better than she usually does, actually.  Success!  Or was it???

Around 10:30 she woke up crying for her "green nuk!!"  Yes, she had a favorite one, and it broke my heart to hear her ask for it knowing I couldn't give it to her.  We have been offering her hugs or a song instead of a nuk if she needs comforting, so I went in and rubbed her back, sang her a lullaby, gave her a kiss.  She was up crying so pathetically for the next two hours!  Oh, it just broke my heart, but this is why we threw them in the actual garbage outside the house, so at 2am we wouldn't be going to find one stashed away somewhere.  We wanted them gone, they are gone.  Now we just have to deal with the consequences! 

Ingrid wouldn't come to bed with me at first, she was saying "stay in Ingrid's bed!  You go to Mama's bed, bye Mama!"  And then as soon as I'd leave she'd wail "I need my mama!"  Oh my god, kid, my heart is already breaking, please spare me the theatrics!  Finally I convinced her to come into my bed, I sang her back to sleep and she slept for a few hours.  Then she got up at 5 and has been so fun since then...It's been one of those days you'd like to fast forward.  Luckily I have a haircut appointment this afternoon so I can escape my crabby house for a couple hours!

Here's to a better night tonight.  And a less crabby day tomorrow.

Quit Stalling!

We are trying very hard around here to help Ingrid go to bed with less stalling.  For the past few weeks it's been taking her an hour or so to fall asleep.  First it was that she wanted a drink.  Then when I realized she was just saying that, but not drinking when given her water bottle, she moved onto throwing her nuk on the floor and then calling "I can't find my nuk!"  After we stopped going in for that, it was that she "dropped" her doll, or that the glow worm needed batteries, or that she had to go to the bathroom.  It was one thing after another, with me putting her to bed and then every five minutes popping up and running in the room.  And getting more and more pissed as the time went on.

It all starts out so innocently, I just wanted to give my child what she needed before bed.  And then it grew so gradually into a big deal that one day I was blindsided by the fact my daughter had been manipulating me for weeks!  How did that happen??  However it happened, it's stopping.  NOW. 

Last night was my first trial of letting her go and not going in to give her anything.  Most of the time I'm sitting there wondering if I'm being a big meanie, maybe she really is thirsty, maybe she really does have to go to the bathroom.  But then I'd sit and listen to her and laugh--"I need my water bottle!  I need my water bottle!  I need to poo!  I need...my dog!  I need...I need...uh, my water bottle!"  It was making me laugh last night listening to her because she was just grasping at straws, what will make mama come back into my room to get me? 

She cried for a half hour on and off.  Sometimes screaming, sometimes really sounding pathetic and tugging at my heartstrings, and sometimes sounding like a maniac.  After a half hour I went in, told her it was time to go to sleep, and I left her.  She fell asleep about a minute later.  Instead of it taking over an hour to fall asleep, she fell asleep in a half hour.  Progress!  Tonight she's quiet, just talking to herself and not calling out for me, so we'll see.  Hopefully she's getting the picture that there is no more stalling to go to bed.  Hopefully.

What a Difference a Day Makes...

This weekend sucked. Big time.  Ingrid is getting molars and is snotty, crabby, and not sleeping.  But I won't talk about sleep because it's the same old story--we're not getting any and I get pissy about it!  But then she'll sleep and I'll think we're through the worst of it and congratulate myself for getting over it, and then she won't sleep and I'll feel like I will never once get a full night sleep in my life...

However, this weekend also saw the return of yelly mama.  Not pretty, by anyone's standards.  I screamed more than once at Ingrid to pick up toys, and I'm not proud.  There is something so infuriating about her smirk she gives me when I say let's pick up.  She looks at me, turns away, and blatantly ignores me.  It just drives me crazy!  It's also my time to be a woman, and I forgot to take my pills for a couple days, we haven't gotten sleep, all leading to a very yelly mama. 

I hate when I get like that.  Why can't it be my nature to just be mellow and relax and not get upset?  But it's my nature to grab Ingrid and yell at her and force her to pick up, which really just makes her cry, makes my husband upset, and makes me cry and hate myself.  I have to tell myself to calm down and find another way, breathe, relax, be gentle and calm and kind.  It doesn't come naturally, and this weekend it didn't come at all.

I really don't want to get in the habit of yelling at Ingrid, I want to be that kinder, gentler person.  So I told myself no more yelling, no more going nuts, no more power struggles, no more!!  I calmed down, she calmed down, and when she woke up crying and wouldn't let me go last night, I laid on the couch in her room and just rubbed her back, listened to her breathe, and cherished the time I had to do this with her.  Someday she won't want me around, I am going to enjoy her wanting me even though it means I'm scrunched up on a love seat with a 30 lb. baby with her arms wrapped so tightly around my neck I can barely breathe. 

This morning I awoke with a new determination to get back to my better self.  And it has really been a great morning.  We've colored and Ingrid helped me wipe off the counter in the bathroom.  We made yummy oatmeal cookies with lots of cloves in them, and we read tons of books.  I have not once yelled at her, she has not once had a tantrum, and we are having a peaceful day. 

Ah, Heavenly Sleep.

Ingrid's napping right now as I type this.  Hooray!!

Yesterday she did not, but I rolled with it, took her out and let her play, and then around 3pm when she looked really tired I put her in bed with her glow worm and some books and she was quiet for an hour.  Hooray!!

Also yesterday, she sliced her finger open on a can lid and we had to go to the ER.  You can read all about it here.  No fun, but thank god she didn't need stitches or anything.  And she doesn't seem to be in any pain today.  Whew.

Last night she was back in our bed, but you know what, whatever.  I know I need to be consistent but I also know I could not physically deal with another night of crying.  After no naps for two days and broken sleep at night, and a trip to the ER, I was just too exhausted to care if she was in our bed or not.  I'm rolling, see?

Anyway, today is a good day.  We played in the snow, made banana bread, took a nap.  I'm going to go sew right now, we may bake some spelt cookies, we'll probably watch Yo Gabba Gabba.  And hopefully we won't end up in the ER again tonight. 

Just Roll With It.

We are having some issues over here at the Liddle house.  Ingrid has been sick and clingy, whiny, non sleeping, crabby, you name it, she's felt it in the span of six seconds...I'm trying really hard to just go with it, let her have her phase of being crabby and sick, nurse her through it with cuddles and patience, but after a week of this, my patience has run out.  I'm going on very little sleep and at 2am, when she's screaming in her bed but doesn't actually want or need anything, it's very hard to see this as a small glitch in our routine.  I start thinking things will NEVER go back to "normal" (whatever that is, anyway...)  Things start becoming massively important, like if we take her into our bed to sleep another night, she'll absolutely never learn how to sleep on her own again.  Or if I go in there to calm her, she'll be up at 2am every single night of her life and I'll never once get another good night's sleep. 

Last night the only thing that got me through was Sarah's post and knowing every mom goes through a period of wondering what the hell is going on with their kid.  This is why I love the blog world!  I feel so much support from other moms whether they know it or not.  Whether I've met them or not.  Whether the issues are the same or not.  Just knowing other moms are up at all hours and dealing with their kids makes me feel a little calmer.

So last night as Ingrid cried on, I just kept saying to myself every minute she cries is a minute closer to morning.  Be consistent, she'll fall asleep eventually.  And she did.  After an hour, many many trips into her room to rub her back and give her a hug and put her blanket back on her, after an hour of cries and wails of mamamama, she fell asleep and slept until 8am.  It was a very small blip in the big picture, one measly hour, but man, in the heat of the moment when all I want to do is go back to bed and curl up under the blankets and go to SLEEP already, it seemed huge.  Alas, it was not.

The same is true of her two days of not napping.  It really drove me crazy to see her rubbing her eyes and asking for her blankets and books only to put her down in her bed and listen to her jumping and singing and not sleeping.  And then getting her out of bed only to have her cry at every single thing that happened because she was so tired.  I was so crazy I almost started to cry.  Not only does SHE need the naps, but dammit, so do I!!  I work so hard every day taking care of her and the house, those two hours of her sleeping are my only time to calm down!!  And then people would tell me their kid stopped napping right around now and I seriously had a meltdown.  Brendan took Ingrid out of the house to drive around and let me nap, I was so upset. 

And now, with my cup of coffee in hand and a clear head from six straight hours of sleep, I can see that it's probably not the end of her naps, it's probably just a phase.  I need to just roll with it, let her talk in her crib if she wants to, not force a nap on her if she's just not going to, not get so upset if once or twice she doesn't nap.  Keep trying and just ride this wave of her being sick and everything getting out of whack.  I really want to be that calm mom who goes with the flow, but it's a struggle.  I have to physically tell myself to remember that, it is so completely not in my nature to do so.  I want to be in control of everything and have things go my way, and sadly, with kids it's just not possible.  So instead of fighting Ingrid, I'm going to fight my urge to have everything under my control.  Let go, roll with it.   

Sleep, Sleep, Sleep, Sleep, Sleep.

Hey guys.  It's me, talking about sleep...again.  And remember how I just posted how cozy cosleeping is?  I still believe that, if it's only me and Ingrid in the bed.  Add daddy, though, and it gets a little crowded.  I guess the old saying that three's a crowd was coined by someone in a small bed with a toddler kicking them in the stomach all night...

So, the very same night I wrote about how cozy cosleeping is, Ingrid ended up in our bed again.  This time, though, both Brendan and I were in there.  She snuggled up between us and it seemed really nice.  Then she would wake up and cry every time Brendan rolled over.  And he rolls around in his sleep a lot.  And Ingrid is a mover, too, so she was trying to sleep sideways in between us, hitting Brendan and kicking me.  And crying.  After an hour or so of this, I finally decided that it wasn't working.  She can't sleep in our bed if both Brendan and I can't be in there.  I refuse to kick my husband out of his bed!  So back into her crib she went, and she slept just fine.

Now, three or four nights later, she's doing really well.  She gets up a couple times between 7 and 11, wails for mamamamama, I go in and hug her and then put her back in her crib and she sleeps until 8am.  Cross your fingers this is a lasting thing! 

In other news, things are festive and cheerful around here.  We have our tree and it's twinkling nicely in the corner.  All presents are bought, we're just waiting for some to get here from Amazon.  I found the cutest talking Lola doll for Ingrid!!  I'm probably more excited about it than she will be...And I finally cracked and bought her the Plan toaster I've been wanting FOREVER!  It's just too cute not to have.  And Ingrid loves playing with our toaster so she obviously needs a play one, right?

I've made quite a few etsy sales the past couple weeks, which is exciting.  I just love opening my email and seeing that someone bought something from me.  I wish I had more time to sew more stuff--I have tons of the cutest fabric ever just sitting in a closet but I haven't had much time to do anything with it.  Once the holidays are over I'm sure it will be easier.  Yesterday Ingrid was really good and just played in my box of scrap fabric while I cut out quilt pieces.  She's going to grow up to be a lover of fabric, too, I can just tell.  As soon as I get it out she runs over to it and lays on the soft minky, and touches the felt and goes through all the rest and looks at it all.  I can't wait to teach her how to sew :)

CoSleeping is Pretty Cozy

Yep, another post about sleeping.  Sorry, everyone, but it's a major thing here right now--did we get any?  How much did we get?  Who slept where?  How does that affect our mood? 

Last night and the night before Ingrid fell asleep in her bed, woke up as we were going to bed, and begged to go in our bed with us.  It's funny, she is absolutely screaming and crying and snotting and wailing "mamamamaamamma" and the second I go into her room she stands up and, with no hint of the previous crying, says "Bed?" and points to our room.  Drama queen.

So last night she slept with me, all cuddled up and kicking my bladder and making static sparks with her pjs and blanket.  We fell asleep right away, which I'm realizing doesn't happen often for me.  She, and Brendan, can hit the pillow asleep, but I take awhile usually.  However, with my little lady all curled up by me, I drifted off in no time and we both slept the whole night through.  Brendan came in as he was leaving for work to say goodbye, he actually had to wake us up!  We said bye and then laid in the cozy bed as the cats came up to say good morning and sniff us, and it hit me how awesome that is. 

When Ingrid was in her crib and crying every hour or so, I got no sleep, obviously.  And hearing her cry made me feel crappy.  And having to get up out of bed and go to her was annoying (and cold.)  Having her in bed with us is so warm and cozy and I sleep so much better.  I'm so glad she finally sleeps in our bed!  It seems counterintuitive but I really wanted her to be able to cosleep so those nights she was upset I could bring her in. 

Our doctor tried to tell us at our last appointment that if we wanted to sleep we'd have to take two weeks to let her cry it out.  "It'll take a long time but it will be worth it."  Inside I was cringing and rolling my eyes, but I just nodded and said uh huh.  And we really did do that once or twice, and she fell asleep...for an hour or two.  Nothing has made her sleep through the night quite like being snuggled between mama and daddy.  Take that, doctors.

Hello, World!

Oh man, am I in a good mood.  Ingrid has slept in for two nights straight!  All through the night, not a peep!  Well, there was a peep last night but I let her settle herself down and a minute later she was quiet again.  All this sleep makes for one happy mama!  I got up at 7:30 this morning--SEVEN THIRTY!  Usually we're up by six, and I have to drag my ass out of bed, but this morning I was the first one up.  I had coffee already made by the time Brendan brought Ingrid out.  What a great way to wake up.

Things just seem to be really going well here.  I feel happy and well rested, Ingrid has been adorable, Brendan has been sure to help out as much as he can since he's been working late.  I have another giveaway going on with Applesauce Craft, so I am busy making more gift sets and dresses to stock the store.  Ingrid and I have been doing fun activities the past couple days and I'm realizing A)it makes the day go by faster to have an activity and B)it makes her happy to have my undivided attention for an hour or two. 

Usually she's playing around me while I clean or bake or something.  I play a little with her but I've never been one to get down and really PLAY play, you know?  It bores me, honestly...But with crafty stuff like making crayons, it's fun for me, too.  I have play dough we should get out, and today we're making Christmas cookies.  I have to set up a place where she can get really messy with frosting and sprinkles. 

That is what sucks about this apartment--carpet in the dining room.  Who thinks that's a good idea???  The only sweepable place we have is our tiny kitchen so if I want to let Ingrid make a mess that's where we have to be.  Every other inch of our stupid place is carpeted.  Blah. 

Anyway, things are good here.  I'm looking forward to a nice weekend of sewing, Brendan has already said he'll take care of Ingrid all weekend so I can have a break.  I'm listening to Pandora's "jazzy holiday" station and drinking coffee and I got to sleep a whole uninterupted 8 hours last night.  Life is grand. 

Sleeping A Little at a Time...

If it's not working, do something else.  Whatever we were doing with Ingrid was not working, so we tried something else.  Friday night we went to dinner and my mom watched her.  She was fine while we were gone, but then up three times between 9 and 10:30pm.  So, I took her mattress out of the crib, plopped it on the floor, grabbed my comforter and pillow, and we camped out.  Ingrid thought this was very interesting.  She laid on her mattress for awhile, with her hand touching my arm.  Then she crawled over to me and snuggled for a bit.  Then back to the mattress.  Then she stood up and ran to the mattress, jumping on it and screeching "Wheee!"  Hmm, not really the sleep I was hoping for, but not crying either.

After an hour and a half of me dozing next to Ingrid, who was crawling back and forth between me and her mattress, she finally started whining a little.  I asked her if she wanted to go back to her bed, and she said yes.  I put the mattress in the crib, stuck her in, and she slept for 7 1/2 hours.  Last night she was up a couple times but not nearly as bad as it had been.  Just getting that one night of 7 hours of sleep, and naps while my mom and Brendan watched her, I feel so refreshed!  How ridiculous. 

Ugh.

I need a pick me up today.  Ingrid hasn't been sleeping well for weeks now and it's starting to wear on my nerves.  Last night she was up every hour or so from 7pm until 630am.  She did not sleep more than 2 hours at any one time during the whole entire effing night!!  I am exhausted this morning.  And so is she, but she won't just go back to bed like I could...she wants to play but she's so tired she doesn't know what she wants to do.  She just cried for a half hour for no reason--I tried to get her interested in books, a blanket, her kitchen, a snack.  Ugh.

She is a year and a half and this has been an ongoing battle.  I don't know what to do anymore.  I have tried giving her what she needs, even if that's a cuddle for a minute, then back to bed.  But she gets up so much, I don't get any sleep.  I've tried letting her settle herself back down, which happens sometimes, but usually she'd cry nonstop if I let her.  I have let her before, too.  I went in every few minutes to try to calm her down but not take her out of the crib and she cried for two hours until finally I took her out and she calmed down for a little bit.  I try to take her in bed with us but she never sleeps, she just starts playing on us.  Ugh.

Isn't it supposed to get better the older they get??  She slept better as a baby.  She'd sleep 8 hrs straight, have a bottle, and sleep for 3 hours more.  That I could handle.  This I cannot.  Ugh.