Neighbors

We have been so lucky with our neighborhood!  When we looked at our house before buying it, we met twin girls just a bit younger than Ingrid that lived two doors down.  When we bought the house, we found out there was a little boy Otis' age next door.  When we moved in, we met our neighbors across the street that have kids the same age.  Their neighbors have a kid Ingrid's age, and so on and so on.  It is a perfect place to raise our kids!

Yesterday was a perfect example of why I love where we live.  I looked out to see our friends on their front step.  We went outside to say hi.  The girls on our side of the street also came out to say hi.  We all went inside for the kids to play.  We then went to someone else's backyard.  We saw another neighbor with her kid, invited her over.  All the kids played and ate popsicles.  Then it was dinner time and we went home.  No elaborate play date, just kids hanging out in the neighborhood. 

Someday they will be able to do this by themselves, too--go ride bikes, play a game of baseball at the nearby park, have sleepovers.  I love it!

We were talking about the lady across the alley that has triplets, whom I've never met.  But it made me remember a new member of the mom's group I created on Facebook, so I went home to see if it might be the same person.  I messaged her "please don't think I'm insane, but I think I'm your neighbor?"  She wrote back that she'd wanted to come say hi for a long time!  Totally random meeting of another neighbor.

Oh, and let's not forget the pregnant neighbor that waddled into our backyard last week with cucumbers from her garden!  She said they had tons, and would I like some?  We chatted, they are having their first baby any day now.  I gave her tomatoes from our garden.  Neighbors, people, they are amazing!

I just feel so lucky that A) we got a really awesome house B) the house was way cheaper than we thought we'd find and C) it's in this amazing little pocket of a neighborhood with all these great people!  I could not have planned for anything better!

Life in our House

Well, so much for not being neglectful.  But really, we had tons going on lately, so I am excusing myself. 

Number one thing, we bought our house!  We are the proud owners of a three bedroom, one and half bath colonial in the cutest little tree lined neighborhood.  We have gotten to know our neighbors, who all have kids the same age.  I am in love with the idea of people stopping by when we're playing in the backyard and having an impromptu playdate.  Or we get bored and go knock on the neighbor's door and see what they're up to.  Our backyard is littered with kid stuff--sandbox, little pool, slide, tball set, chalk, bubbles, tricycle, balance bike.  It drives Brendan nuts!  I think it just looks like a busy family lives there.  And really, I am not trying to impress anyone.  It's not a broken down car, it's a stroller.

Decorating has been fun.  All the walls were painted, which at first I thought was nice.  But they were definitely too Pottery Barn-y and dark and just not my style.  So...dining room went from rusty orange to light, bright pale turquoise.  I went to Ikea today to get Expedit shelves and wicker baskets, I got some white curtains, and I found a really cool midcentury buffet thing at the thrifts.  Now I just need to paint the trim and find a white, round table and some chairs my kids can get out of.  The chairs I have now have armrests that curl around, thus caging the kids in, which can be good until they start screaming because they are trapped and can't get out to go to the bathroom.

Ingrid's room is going to be so cute, if I may say so.  Right now it is GREEN.  Like yelling at you the minute you walk in-yellowy green with a darker green brush stroked over it.  Hideous.  I am going to paint it "rhino" from Behr.  It's a nice pale gray.  I got these curtains for her today at Ikea, so freakin' cute.  She has white furniture, and I have a bunch of fun stuff to hang on her walls, including some vintage dresses that have been hiding in her closet and need to see the light of day.  And then ta-da!  It's a done room! 

All the other rooms are going by the wayside right now.  I have placed some furniture in them and that is that.  Because you know what?  We have a thirty year mortgage, we're not going anywhere!  I love that feeling.

Other things we have been up to--Ingrid turned four.  She's still smart as hell.  She got into her Montessori school.  She keeps trying to put on sweatpants in the hot weather and it drives me insane.  Seriously, 95degrees, you do NOT need sweatpants on!

Otis is huge.  He is running, talking like crazy.  When I get the iPad hooked up I will upload a video or two of him.  He's hilarious, he loves the book Going on a Bear Hunt and says all the "uh oh"s and "oh no"s along with me!  So cute.

I finally had surgery to remove a cyst in my throat.  That was a doozy!  I haven't had surgery since getting my tonsils out when I was five, so it's been thirty years.  I stayed at the hospital jacked up on pain meds for a night, it was sweet.  Now I have a two inch scar across my throat, it looks pretty gnarly.  I am told it will fade, who knows. 

And that's another update on Team Liddle.  I am seriously going to try harder to be more active on here!  I don't have anything major on the horizon so this time I will have more of a chance to stay on top of things!

Good Day

Just thought I'd post that I had a great day today.  It started out early as hell, but I had coffee all ready to go and Ingrid was in a good mood.  So, it was doable.  I had my bathroom and kitchen cleaned, Ingrid had breakfast, I'd had two cups of coffee, and Otis was down for a nap all by 9am.  Sheesh.

Ingrid played by herself for a long time this morning, she got into my button stash.  It's amazing how simple things like buttons or scraps of fabric can keep her occupied for ages!  I used the time she was busy and Otis was sleeping to make my living room curtains. 

We had new friends over to play after lunch.  It's great to be back in Milwaukee because everyone had kids while we were gone.  So instead of being the only parents, we now have a great support group of others with kids and there are a lot of moms around during the day to have playdates with.  Ingrid's not too sure of her new friends, she seems rather pushy with them--to see what she can get away with maybe?  I don't know what it is, but with her old friends in Michigan she never seemed this bossy/grabby/pushy.  Hopefully this too is a phase that she will quickly outgrow!

I can almost feel spring coming.  I can't wait.  The lake is a couple blocks away and there's a great park there I can take Ingrid to.  I will be so happy when we can just get outside and I can let Ingrid run her energy off instead of her breaking down at 4pm every day because she's been cooped up with a tired mom and a colicky little brother.  It's so close!

All Moved In!

We made our move.  I am SO glad it's over!  After saying I wouldn't lift a finger this time, I ended up packing 99% of our belongings and cleaning the apartment from top to bottom...It was a crazy move, we stayed at a hotel and then drove and then stayed at my in-laws.  We were pleasantly surprised to see our new house, as we rented it sight unseen from craigslist.  Luckily we know the neighborhood and have an idea of what duplexes look like around here, so it wasn't too risky. 

Our new house is amazing!!  By far it's the best place we've ever rented.  I guess that comes with the fact it's the most we've ever spent on a place, too, but it's so worth it to be in a nice place with plenty of room.  Our bathroom, can I just gush??  It's amazing.  All new tiles, bath, toilet, vanity.  Space to move, a built in linen closet right outside.  SO MUCH better than our bathroom before with the running toilet, the shower whose knobs had fallen off, the gross glass door that was always dirty no matter how hard I scrubbed it.

And our kitchen, again, is amazing.  Huge, tons of cabinets, you can fit more than one person and a garbage can in it.  Our last kitchen was horrible!  It was about four feet long with just enough space to stand in as long as you didn't have to open the dishwasher, oven, pantry, or refrigerator.  Our new place has all new appliances that we had to actually take the tape off the doors!!  And a gas stove!  And one night Brendan and I were in there talking as he held Otis and I made dinner and we realized how great it was to be able to both be in one room without it feeling like we were stepping on each other.  Ahhhhhh, room to spread.

Ingrid has been a handful but as we settle in she's been better.  She was upset over all her stuff being packed up, so I made sure to get her room ready and unpack all her toys right away.  It was like Christmas around here with her rediscovering things that had been in boxes for weeks!  Her new favorite things, though, are the baby toys I'd packed up long long ago.  Plastic rings, board books, and a walker cart are suddenly her best toys! 

It's been a bit strange to have friends around again.  We're so used to being pretty much alone that I forget that I can call up a friend and hang out!  It's going to take some getting used to.  I am just so so so so happy to be here!!  We are here, we are staying, and we are finally able to live our lives and not be in that strange limbo we've been in for years!  Hooray! 

Moving On...

Well, our time here in Michigan has come to an end.  Brendan got a job in Milwaukee and we leave in a couple weeks.  It has all happened so fast, it's wierd!  On the one hand, we've been preparing for this for a long time, knowing he was looking for jobs and interviewing.  On the other hand, he had an interview one week and was offered a job the next, to start a couple weeks after that.  So it kinda happened in a blur!

I have mixed emotions about leaving.  Mostly I'm excited!!  I am so glad to be going back to the city that became my home.  I have tons of friends there, there are things to do, cool apartments that are affordable, Grandma and Grandpa live there, we'll be by Lake Michigan again.  Just thinking of this spring and hanging out with friends and going camping and hiking and skipping stones at the lake with Ingrid--it makes me so happy!!

However, moving means leaving behind some great friends I've made here.  And of course we all got pregnant at the same time, and I might not even get to meet the other two little boys, who won't make their appearances until after we leave...And Ingrid loves her little pals, it will be hard to have her ask to play with them and have to tell her no, they're six hours away.  Honestly, we probably won't ever come back to Ann Arbor after we leave.  My family is on the other side of the state, so going to Michigan means going there, not all the way over here.  Maybe they'll want to come visit Milwaukee?

Mostly I'm just relieved that we are going to get our life going.  I feel like we've been in limbo for years.  First it was grad school, then moving, then job hunting, and now finally we get to move home, buy a house, and know we're going to be there for more than a year!  No more wondering what the future holds, we can actually LIVE our lives now!  It was so frustrating to have to wonder where we'd be.  I want to sign Ingrid up for ballet lessons, but where will be?  I want to look at preschools, but where will we be?  We wanted to plan a trip to our favorite campground in Wisconsin, but would we be near there or all the way across the country?  Now we know!!  Now we can plan!! 

It's such a good feeling.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.

I'm almost six months along now, can you believe it??  And just yesterday it finally hit me FOR REAL that we are going to have another baby.  It's been all in the hypothetical up until then.  Yes, someday we'll have a baby, someday these tiny diapers will be put on something other than a Cabbage Patch Kid.  And then yesterday I stood in front of the mirror and looked at my expanding belly and felt little kicks and rolls and it hit me--there is a baby in there!!

Ingrid and I went to Salvation Army and had a great time searching through the kid's clothes.  I found some amazing things for my friend Heather's etsy shop 3RingCircus, I got some new "cozy pants" for Ingrid, and I got a little tiny newborn outfit that has a moose on it, and the feet are tiny moose, too!  It's for bringing wee one home from the hospital.  Again, it hit me that we will go into the hospital with a big belly and come home with a wriggling newborn, amazing!

I have been pretty down lately about not knowing where we'll be going next, as Brendan looks for jobs.  We're not going to be in this apartment for too long, so I don't see the point in making it very homey.  And then I get depressed because there are no pictures hung or curtains or anything.  And I have boxes of stuff for when Otis comes but I can't do anything with them, no nesting at all, because we will either move before he gets here or right after.  It's frustrating.  But yesterday I got over it and decided that I should just do little things to make myself feel at home again, even if it's only for a few months.  So I'm making curtains for my kitchen today out of this cute lemon print fabric I've had on hand.  And I have a matching yellow rug I found in the basement.

I cleaned up the basement finally yesterday--what a chore!  Ingrid used to have her play room down there and then over the summer, because we didn't have a dehumidifier, we got mold.  After cleaning all that up, I just threw stuff down there, and every time I'd go do laundry it would bug me that I wasn't more organized.  And that we had about five lamps from old apartment dwellers that didn't work shoved under the stairs.  And that we got more toys for Ingrid and they were taking over my living room and I really really wanted a place for her to go play again.  SO...a little sweep and mop, throw out old lamps, move baby boxes under stairs, move furniture around, wash rug, and move toys downstairs again, and there you go.  A playroom again!

So things will change, as they always do, and I have to remind myself that I can roll with it, deal with it, it will all work out.  Some days I just want to be settled somewhere, to know we're going to be somewhere for awhile.  And others I realize we're still in the early stages of our marriage and family, and this is what we'll look back on and laugh at how young and carefree we were.  Someday.

A Part of Things

This weekend I took Ingrid to the Easter egg hunt at a local park.  The whole morning made me realize how awesome it is to be a part of things wherever it is I live.  We went to a little restaurant coffee shop to meet up with friends, and who should we see in the parking lot but other friends that were just leaving!  We chatted a bit, then went inside to get some muffins before venturing to see the Easter bunny.

After coffee we went to the park and met some more friends, and as we were walking around I heard my name being called.  It was someone from our apartment complex, the woman who helped us with our lease when we moved.  She has always been super friendly and when she sees us she calls us by name.  So sweet!  And I saw a few moms I recognized from story time at the library.

When I got home, I was just feeling so good about how we moved here not knowing a single person a year or so ago, and now I can go out to a community event and run into people I know.  It just makes me feel confident that once Brendan gets his job and we move, we'll be able to make our lives comfortable and meet new friends, no matter where we are. 

My new daydream is small town living.  Brendan applied to a job about an hour north of Milwaukee, so we'd be close to friends and family but not have to live in the city.  I have realized since having Ingrid that I don't want to live in a city.  I like the idea of museums and such, but I hate the noise and the traffic.  So this small town is close to a city but far enough away that we would be able to have a house with a nice back yard and a small little downtown.  The town is right on Lake Michigan, and the houses--oh my god!  They are so inexpensive!  Theoretically we could buy a house way sooner rather than later, and actually get a house we liked, rather than one we could just afford.  And with a small mortgage payment we could travel, which is what we want to do.  The town is also close to our favorite state park and other hiking areas.  The more we talked about it the better it sounded! 

But again, every time Brendan tells me a place he applied to, I look up where the town is, what the house prices are, go look on craigslist to see what kind of rentals they have.  And I start thinking about how it would be to live there and I can find a list of positives.  I have gone from Colorado and the mountains to Southern California and palm trees to small town Wisconsin and Lake Michigan and I can see us living in all the places and having a good time.  So we'll see. 

Wherever we end up, though, I am excited to meet new people and start to make our lives there.  No more limbo, I want to know I'm going to live somewhere for more than a year...

New Friends

When we moved here we started going to story time at the library. There was a mom there that had a little girl a little older than Ingrid. I would smile and say hi, and as the weeks went on we'd talk a little more each time. I saw the mom and her daughter at Whole Foods and finally introduced myself so at least I would be able to call her by her name instead of "hey you!" Then story time took a break and Ingrid's nap schedule changed and we didn't see them for a long time. When we did this summer, the mom was about ready to have baby #2, the first I knew she was even pregnant...I thought hmm, I should really get her number so we can hang out but she's got a new baby coming, we're probably moving soon. Why bother?

Well, fate threw us together again, this time at the post office. It's been five months since I've seen them, but the other day as I was mailing something I heard a mom say "Okay, let's mail the diapers!" I turned around because anyone mailing diapers is probably mailing cloth diapers, and of course I have to see who it is...It was the mom and her daughter! And the first thing out of my mouth was "I have to get your phone number so we can have playdates!"

She came over today and it was so fun. Her daughter, P, was kind of shy at first. She just stood there as Ingrid tried to get her to play with her kitchen stuff. P started to play, then walked away, which Ingrid didn't get. She physically grabbed P and turned her toward the kitchen! My little subtle girl...The girls warmed up to each other and played really well, and I got to chat with the mom. We have lots in common, which is something I'm finding that by living here I do tend to meet a lot of moms with similar ideas. I got to watch her with her baby, all wrapped up, napping as the mom swayed while we were having a conversation. Which of course made me want to get started on #2 so I could sway with a sleeping baby all wrapped up close to me.

P is adopted and we talked a lot about that. I always thought about adoption, thinking I wouldn't be able to get pregnant, but once I did have Ingrid, I stopped thinking about it. This family is so awesome, though, they have one adopted, one biological, and are starting to talk about adopting #3. It was really interesting to hear about the process from someone that's done it, hear about the wait, the paperwork, the reasons behind it. I just love that they choose to adopt even though they could have their own. It made me think about bringing another life to this earth just because I want one. Maybe I should go back to thinking about adoption if I want another so badly. That was always my main thing when talking about having one kid--there are so many people in this world, I don't really need to make another. I have love to give, doesn't matter where the kid comes from!

That is the thing I love about making new friends--as much as you have in common with someone, there are always differences. And differences are good--they make you think about why you believe what you do and either challenge you to think differently or confirm your beliefs. I'm glad I ran into her at the post office, I'm glad we exchanged numbers, I'm glad they came over today, and I'm glad I have the opportunity to meet new people!

Party Preparations

Did I spell preparations right?  I'm having one of those moments where words all look wrong to me.  And they make no sense when I say them to myself.  I think I had too much coffee this morning. 

Anyway...

Sunday we are having a party for a few friends and their kids.  I am so excited to have people over!  We're getting our tree Saturday, then I'll be baking and cooking all morning Sunday to be ready for our afternoon of fun.  During Ingrid's nap today I've been making little goody bags for the kids, and ornaments with their names on them. 

I love getting things together for a party.  Ingrid and I went to the store and just wandered around looking at festive things.  We got a tiny string of lights to put up on our holiday shelf, and some santa napkins and plates, and toys to put in the goody bags.  I have lists of food things I need to get ready, and presents all wrapped and ready to go under the tree.  I've been listening to holiday music on Pandora and it even started snowing.

It's Christmas, everybody! 

Homesick, Sorta.

Brendan and I went to Milwaukee for Thanksgiving.  It was a great trip, so much better than the last time we were there.  In August we stayed near Milwaukee at the family cottage and only made it to the city for a day.  We couldn't wait to get the hell out of there!!  Something about the noise and the heat and all the people, we wanted to get back to our quiet little apartment.  This time, though, it was really fun and made me kind of homesick.

We made it to Brendan's parent's house in the afternoon, Ingrid did really well in the car and even slept some of the way.  Ingrid was in love with her gramma and grampa right away, giving hugs and kisses and following them around.  We put our pjs on really early, like by 5pm!  And Ingrid dragged her blankie around the house and explored.  We had a futon mattress on the floor by our bed for Ingrid, and we put her blankets on it and told her to lay down, and she did.  I went through the whole entire family saying "night night" to them all, and by the time I was done with that, her eyes were heavy and she fell asleep soon after.  And slept the whole night through, except for a little stirring, when I just layed by her and she fell asleep again.  Huh.  You just never know with her!

Friday we visited friends at the coffee shop I used to work at.  One is preggo and looking cute and we talked about cloth diapers and baby things.  I want to be there for her!  And the other friend we saw I miss so much it's crazy!  We used to get coffee every single Monday or Tuesday, and I miss that so much.  Then we went to Madison to see friends and meet their daughter who is Ingrid's age.  We hadn't seen them in SO LONG!  It was so fun to get together and have our girls play together.  We daydreamed about moving there and living close by and what it would be like.  Nice, that's what it would be.  Nice to know someone, nice to have someone to hang out with, nice to be close to family...

Saturday was more visiting--week old babies, and 8 month old babies.  Brendan got to go out with friends and I got to take a three hour nap.  We had Christmas with the parents on Sunday morning before we left, then we had to make the 6 hour drive again...

And here I sit in Michigan again.  I'm homesick for Milwaukee.  I miss going to Fuel and seeing friends, I'm sad about missing out on friends having babies and the babies growing up without me even meeting them.  I'm wishing we could move in February instead of June or July.  I'm hoping Brendan gets the ball rolling and starts to look for jobs.  I can't decide if I care if we are in Madison or Milwaukee (they are an hour apart and both have pros and cons...) 

And yet...

I got a note from my friend in Colorado and I think it would be awfully nice to try that out, too.  We would have so much fun living in the mountains.  We know some people there.  No family, but my friend that lives there is practically a sister.  So, what will it be???  Colorado or Wisconsin?  Certainly not Michigan, which makes me ready to leave.  I'm sick of being in limbo, I'd like to be done moving now, please. 

Baking Epiphany.

The past few days have been downers for me, I don't know why. I was really unmotivated to do anything, I let the house get a mess, there was no food in the pantry or fridge. I was sick of watching Ingrid, I didn't want to do anything with her even though I knew she was bored and that's why she was acting out. I just felt...blah.

Then yesterday morning we got up early and had a playdate with our friends Jami and Ben. I made a loaf of banana/zuchinni bread and after I put it in the oven I had this strange feeling come over me. I had missed baking! Making that loaf of bread suddenly made me feel more peaceful, ready to deal with a toddler, and reminded me I like my simple life. How can that be? It was like something clicked and I remembered why I like to be a stay at home mom and what kind of life I want to lead.

I admit, I get carried away with daydreams. Lately I've been getting a lot of people wanting to trade things for the dresses and owls I make and I started thinking of how nice it would be to have a little sewing room where no little hands could pull things off tables and get into the felt scraps. I started getting irritated with Ingrid for being the curious person I usually love that she is. I started wanting her to need me less so I could get on and do my own thing. That simple act of making a loaf of bread put me back into reality--I am at home with a one year old. I have a home to take care of, a dog that needs walking, a toddler to keep entertained, and some fresh air and sunshine that need to be taken in. Perhaps in a few years there will be time for hard core sewing, but for now I have to take advantage of what I have--an adorable daughter that wants to play!

So the rest of the day went smoothly. We went to our friend's house, we came home and Ingrid napped. I got three owls cut out to be worked on after Ingrid went to bed. After naptime we spent the afternoon outside. And I was really in tune and happy to be where I was. Thank god, because I really hate feeling cranky and crabby!

I'm Still Me.

My friend Mirabelle came to visit last night. She was driving from Montreal to Milwaukee and stopped at our house for a night. We got to hang out today until she had to be on her way which was so much fun! We've been friends for a long time and she is just the most honest person ever. She is great person to just sit and drink coffee and chat away the morning with. Especially since we haven't talked in a few months, we had tons of catching up to do.

After chatting about old friends and old problems and new things going on in Milwaukee and elsewhere, we talked about what I've been up to lately. I didn't think it was anything special--I hang out with Ingrid, I bake bread, I sew things. Pretty boring stuff. But she said she was really happy for me because I sounded really content and happy and she was glad to hear I was still me and not some robot stay at home mom.

Ahh, the robo-sahm! It was one thing I NEVER wanted to be!! I always always always wanted to remember who I was as a person. I used to be fun! I used to be a punk! I used to stay up past 10pm. Wait, no I didn't. I never could stay up very late :) But I didn't want my life to revolve around babies. I love babies and I think about having another, but I don't want my conversations to all be about poop or teething or sleep deprivation. Yes, I love to talk with other mamas about stuff like that because it is my life, but I don't want that to be the ONLY thing I talk about. And I worry about that sometimes, like when Brendan comes home and asks what we did that day. Laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, bought groceries. *yawn* I love my days like that, but it does sound boring. I want to make sure I'm still an interesting person, you know?

So anyway, Mirabelle was excited I was doing crafty stuff and connecting with other people. She said she was glad I was still me. And that made me really happy. I'm glad old friends that don't have kids and therefore don't think about diapers and stuff all the time can still have a conversation with me and still think I'm interesting!!