Cry Baby.

I'm having a serious issue here, people.  Otis is a cryer.  He has to be held at all times, night included.  At first I was okay with it, he was so small and new and I believe babies cry to communicate they need something, not just to cry.  We never really let Ingrid cry much, I always always went in to get her or give her whatever she needed, I still do actually.  And Brendan and I talked about it a lot, since he was more prone to let her cry, let her soothe herself.  I always always said no way, I won't abandon my baby.

We just had that talk again about Otis.  He is a clingy baby, for sure.  I don't remember Ingrid ever being that needy.  I wear Otis in the Ergo or sling 90% of the time, or put him in his bouncy chair if he's sleeping peacefully.  But lately he falls asleep in my arms and when I set him down, he starts screaming.  So I pick him up, he falls back asleep.  It gets a little tiring.  And it's not really practical for me to be holding him all the time.  I have another kid to take care of, I have my own personal needs, like eating and going to the bathroom and showering.  And frankly, I don't always want to wear or hold him.  Wearing him is better than holding him, as I have both hands, but I still can't always do what I need to do, especially amidst all the unpacking we're doing right now.

So yesterday and today I have been going crazy because it starts at 4am.  He cries, I pick him up, feed him, change the diaper, and he falls alseep.  Until I lay him down, even right next to me in the bed.  This goes on all day long.  He cried in the car seat, he cried in Target, he cried when I made lunch, he cried when I was trying to do something for Ingrid.  I'm trying to multitask, but come on!  Give a mama a break, just be quiet for like two seconds while I get stuff done!

Just now I had him laying in his crib while I sewed, he was fine for awhile.  I was really close to finishing something so I just let him cry for a bit while I got done.  And what do you know?  He fell fast asleep, he's still sleeping right now, he looks really peaceful and has been quiet for more than 15 minutes!!  I hate the idea of letting him cry but it seemed to work. 

HA!  No it didn't, he's up again...What do I do??  How do you balance a needy kid and everything else???

All Moved In!

We made our move.  I am SO glad it's over!  After saying I wouldn't lift a finger this time, I ended up packing 99% of our belongings and cleaning the apartment from top to bottom...It was a crazy move, we stayed at a hotel and then drove and then stayed at my in-laws.  We were pleasantly surprised to see our new house, as we rented it sight unseen from craigslist.  Luckily we know the neighborhood and have an idea of what duplexes look like around here, so it wasn't too risky. 

Our new house is amazing!!  By far it's the best place we've ever rented.  I guess that comes with the fact it's the most we've ever spent on a place, too, but it's so worth it to be in a nice place with plenty of room.  Our bathroom, can I just gush??  It's amazing.  All new tiles, bath, toilet, vanity.  Space to move, a built in linen closet right outside.  SO MUCH better than our bathroom before with the running toilet, the shower whose knobs had fallen off, the gross glass door that was always dirty no matter how hard I scrubbed it.

And our kitchen, again, is amazing.  Huge, tons of cabinets, you can fit more than one person and a garbage can in it.  Our last kitchen was horrible!  It was about four feet long with just enough space to stand in as long as you didn't have to open the dishwasher, oven, pantry, or refrigerator.  Our new place has all new appliances that we had to actually take the tape off the doors!!  And a gas stove!  And one night Brendan and I were in there talking as he held Otis and I made dinner and we realized how great it was to be able to both be in one room without it feeling like we were stepping on each other.  Ahhhhhh, room to spread.

Ingrid has been a handful but as we settle in she's been better.  She was upset over all her stuff being packed up, so I made sure to get her room ready and unpack all her toys right away.  It was like Christmas around here with her rediscovering things that had been in boxes for weeks!  Her new favorite things, though, are the baby toys I'd packed up long long ago.  Plastic rings, board books, and a walker cart are suddenly her best toys! 

It's been a bit strange to have friends around again.  We're so used to being pretty much alone that I forget that I can call up a friend and hang out!  It's going to take some getting used to.  I am just so so so so happy to be here!!  We are here, we are staying, and we are finally able to live our lives and not be in that strange limbo we've been in for years!  Hooray! 

Moving On...

Well, our time here in Michigan has come to an end.  Brendan got a job in Milwaukee and we leave in a couple weeks.  It has all happened so fast, it's wierd!  On the one hand, we've been preparing for this for a long time, knowing he was looking for jobs and interviewing.  On the other hand, he had an interview one week and was offered a job the next, to start a couple weeks after that.  So it kinda happened in a blur!

I have mixed emotions about leaving.  Mostly I'm excited!!  I am so glad to be going back to the city that became my home.  I have tons of friends there, there are things to do, cool apartments that are affordable, Grandma and Grandpa live there, we'll be by Lake Michigan again.  Just thinking of this spring and hanging out with friends and going camping and hiking and skipping stones at the lake with Ingrid--it makes me so happy!!

However, moving means leaving behind some great friends I've made here.  And of course we all got pregnant at the same time, and I might not even get to meet the other two little boys, who won't make their appearances until after we leave...And Ingrid loves her little pals, it will be hard to have her ask to play with them and have to tell her no, they're six hours away.  Honestly, we probably won't ever come back to Ann Arbor after we leave.  My family is on the other side of the state, so going to Michigan means going there, not all the way over here.  Maybe they'll want to come visit Milwaukee?

Mostly I'm just relieved that we are going to get our life going.  I feel like we've been in limbo for years.  First it was grad school, then moving, then job hunting, and now finally we get to move home, buy a house, and know we're going to be there for more than a year!  No more wondering what the future holds, we can actually LIVE our lives now!  It was so frustrating to have to wonder where we'd be.  I want to sign Ingrid up for ballet lessons, but where will be?  I want to look at preschools, but where will we be?  We wanted to plan a trip to our favorite campground in Wisconsin, but would we be near there or all the way across the country?  Now we know!!  Now we can plan!! 

It's such a good feeling.

The Family Bath

One night I decided to jump in the tub with Ingrid, bringing Otis with me.  Ingrid thought this was the most exciting thing!  She played while I held Otis in the water.  He enjoyed it much better than his infant bathtub baths.  I got a chance to relax a little bit with the kids.  It was good all around.  Except for the fact that our tub is too small for all of us!

When we visited my mom we took advantage of the ENORMOUS garden soaker tub.  Ingrid squealed that it was just like a swimming pool!  I loved the fact I could actually sink down in the water and stretch my legs out and still have room for Ingrid and her twelve thousand toys.  Even though I don't envision us having a big house, we NEED to have a big tub I've decided.

Last night was another family bath.  Ingrid was all smiles, Otis nursed the whole time, and I took a nice deep breath after the long day of dealing with Ingrid being sick and whiny.  Like I said, it's good for everyone involved and is a perfect ending to a busy day. 

Cleaning. Which Makes Me Want to Be a Minimalist.

So Brendan has had job interviews and hopefully will have an offer or two this week.  Which means I'm back to packing and cleaning.  I just went through every closet upstairs last week, and already they're filled with junk I moved from one spot to the next...I just packed up all my sewing stuff and found a box of wires that I have absolutely no idea what they go to.  I found dead batteries, scraps of ribbon, pieces of patterns I've never made.  So much junk!

Which leads me to minimalism.  I would SO LOVE to be a minimalist.  I want a house with no knick-knacks, artwork on the walls that looks like it was meant to be placed there (not just wherever there was a nail hole.) I want clean lines and open spaces.  Instead I have hand me down couches with tons of pillows we always throw on the floor, and baby swings and toys galore...

In some respects I think I am doing an okay job.  I will never need a walk in closet because I don't own a lot of clothes.  I have about four pairs of shoes.  I only buy one thing of shampoo at a time, and for that matter, only one face wash, toothpaste, cleaning product, etc.  I have tried to stay away from lots of toys for Ingrid, especially the ones that have tiny parts and aren't much fun.  I purge and donate monthly.  And somehow my house ends up full of crap every time I have to move. 

This time we've only been in our apartment for ten months.  I would have hoped that meant that we'd have at least two months less crap around, but we had a baby.  And I love fabric.  And thrifting.  Sigh...it's never ending.

So back to cleaning I go.  I throw stuff away, I have a donate pile, I clean, I pack.  And it still seems like we have so much stuff!!

So Well Put...

I just read this story over here about how bodies can be sexual and also practical, and it just cracked me up.  The part about shaking hands and thinking of the people masturbating with the hands is so funny and SO TRUE!!  And it made me feel better about this whole after baby/sex thing.  Honestly I feel no urge to do it again, being that I am a milk cow on call 24/7, but this changed my point of view a bit.  I can be a mom and have sex, I just have to compartmentalize.  My husband will be happy to hear that.

Things I'm Lovin' Right Now

1. Ingrid's imagination.  She will sit with her toys and just have the best conversations with herself.  I've overheard her feeding her baby doll and saying "How many pounces did you eat, baby?  Oh, eleven thirty pounces?  Good!"  Also heard, when playing with her robot doll, in a monotone voice, "I AM A ROBOT.  I AM A ROBOT."  Yesterday we brought up the fire truck from the basement and she played rescue animals all afternoon.  I love that she can entertain herself so well!

2. Our new Bummis wrap.  It's small enough for Otis but it's got plenty of room for him to grow.  Our prefolds fit so nicely in it and it's cute and green with colorful dots all over.  I'm loving our prefolds in general.  We got some Bum Genuius XSs that are good, but last night showed me why I hate AIOs.  I thought they were dry but apparently they weren't, so we ended up having to change Otis' clothes three times in the middle of the night because they'd gotten soaked.  If I put something in the dryer for 80 MINUTES!!!  I expect it to be dry when it comes out! 

3. My family.  Last night after dinner Brendan was playing with Ingrid and I was sewing.  We had music on, a really bad 80s channel, and lots of bad songs came on, which we sang along to and Ingrid danced.  I just love our evenings when we hang out before bedtime.

4. Not being homeless!!  Brendan just found out yesterday that he can stay at his job for a couple more months while he's searching for his new job.  It's a pay cut but it's way better than the nothing we were planning on having in a couple weeks!  And we get to keep our health insurance, which is the biggest relief ever.  Brendan has had a couple phone interviews and next week he has one in Missouri.  Not sure what we think of moving there but a job is a job. 

5. This pattern.  I love it!  A friend got it for me and I've made a few pairs now.  It's so easy and so cute and the sizes are big enough for Ingrid.  I made a pair for her the other day that turned out huge, so I'll be able to use the pattern for awhile for her!  Yay.  It felt really good to sew again.