Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Cry Baby.

I'm having a serious issue here, people.  Otis is a cryer.  He has to be held at all times, night included.  At first I was okay with it, he was so small and new and I believe babies cry to communicate they need something, not just to cry.  We never really let Ingrid cry much, I always always went in to get her or give her whatever she needed, I still do actually.  And Brendan and I talked about it a lot, since he was more prone to let her cry, let her soothe herself.  I always always said no way, I won't abandon my baby.

We just had that talk again about Otis.  He is a clingy baby, for sure.  I don't remember Ingrid ever being that needy.  I wear Otis in the Ergo or sling 90% of the time, or put him in his bouncy chair if he's sleeping peacefully.  But lately he falls asleep in my arms and when I set him down, he starts screaming.  So I pick him up, he falls back asleep.  It gets a little tiring.  And it's not really practical for me to be holding him all the time.  I have another kid to take care of, I have my own personal needs, like eating and going to the bathroom and showering.  And frankly, I don't always want to wear or hold him.  Wearing him is better than holding him, as I have both hands, but I still can't always do what I need to do, especially amidst all the unpacking we're doing right now.

So yesterday and today I have been going crazy because it starts at 4am.  He cries, I pick him up, feed him, change the diaper, and he falls alseep.  Until I lay him down, even right next to me in the bed.  This goes on all day long.  He cried in the car seat, he cried in Target, he cried when I made lunch, he cried when I was trying to do something for Ingrid.  I'm trying to multitask, but come on!  Give a mama a break, just be quiet for like two seconds while I get stuff done!

Just now I had him laying in his crib while I sewed, he was fine for awhile.  I was really close to finishing something so I just let him cry for a bit while I got done.  And what do you know?  He fell fast asleep, he's still sleeping right now, he looks really peaceful and has been quiet for more than 15 minutes!!  I hate the idea of letting him cry but it seemed to work. 

HA!  No it didn't, he's up again...What do I do??  How do you balance a needy kid and everything else???


Fiona said...

My heart goes out to you - needy babies can be hard work.

First of all you need to try and step back (hard I know) and ask how long this has been going on. Is it constant since birth, or has it gotten worse lately? If so could he be unsettled by a new home, changes in routine, etc?

Is there someone else who can give you a break and wear him for a while?

Is it possible that he is coming down with something, or there is some other medical reason behind his crying right now?

Sofie was my high needs baby, and to some extent, still is (at age 5). But she did go through super high needs periods which always relented after a few days, as she slipped back to a more comfortable place.

Oh, and a high back carry in a stretchy wrap was my savior. There is very little that can't be done with a baby in a high back carry! I remember once the mid wife arrived as I was cutting the lawn with Sofie on my back!

Hang in their Amber. I am sure you will work something out, but in the meantime try and sort out some space for yourself so you can breath again.

MaryAnne said...

This is so hard. Emma was like this, and looking back I think she had really bad reflux, I just didn't pick up on it. It's easier to deal with when it's your first, though! My sister's baby (born in January) was crying all the time, and their pediatrician put him on a reflux medication and he's doing a lot better. Might be worth looking into?

Chari said...

I'm sorry :-( Ethan had colic every night for the first 10 weeks so I was used to crying. He got a little better, but was always pretty cranky and high need baby.

Do you have a playmat that you can lay him on for a few minutes? That would work for Ethan for a few minutes if I needed a few minutes to sweep the floors or something that required both hands. Sometimes I would put in the baby einstein dvd. I didn't let him watch TV until well past 1 year, but a few minutes a couple times a week was a relief.

Carly said...

both my Boys cried all the time..I had to wear my 2nd Son all the time. Now my 3rd (a girl) so easy going..Does not even like to be worn. So my advice thay are all differant and .....THIS TO SHALL PASS....I always say that to myself when the going gets tuff..Good Luck!

Anonymous said...

Premature baby boys seem to suffer with colic. Often because their tummies and intestines are still maturing. Does he pull his little legs up when he cries? that is a sure sign. It seems to be forever at the time, but it will eventually pass. Sometimes they are most comfortable lying on their tummy on your lap or on a pillow. Just do what your intinct tells you to do.

Anonymous said...

Have you ever heard of cranial osteopathy for babies? If you have one near to you, I would highly recommend it, as it worked wonders with my baby, she was a screamer, any time of the day, for any reason, a friend recommended cranial treatment and after the treatment and for the first time in her life (she was 9 months old at this stage) she actually slept in the car and we saw an unbelievable difference, I was skeptical, but saw the results, and it was amazing. Good luck!