Every weekend Brendan and I have the same argument about family time. I understand where each of us is coming from but it seems like we can never get the right balance.
See, as a stay at home mom, I am with my kids all day every day. I don't get sick days, I don't get coffee breaks, I work from 5:30 am to about 9 pm at night. During the week we find things to do--playdates, trips to the children's museum, the zoo, whatever. By the weekend, I am so ready for a break that I tend to just want to hand the kids over to Brendan and go hide somewhere.
Brendan, however, would like family time. So he's always saying what should we do today? Let's go to the zoo! Let's take a walk! Let's go the park! I say okay, you take the kids, that'll be fun. I'll take a nap, or get some sewing done. Then he gets mad because he wants family time.
I don't know, I feel like we spend plenty of time together as a family. I don't know what B's expectations are. We went to the farmer's market together on Saturday, we had a cookout with friends Saturday night. We went to his parent's house together yesterday morning. We all were outside together yesterday. And yet he still got mad we didn't have enough family time. What does he want?? I don't want to go to the zoo on a hot busy Saturday. I don't want to take another walk to the park we go to almost every day during the week. I want to go read a book or sew. I want to get coffee with a friend. I want to catch up on sleep.
So basically we need to come up with a plan. What do other stay at home moms do with this situation? I'm so sick of my kids by Saturday morning that I just want a break!! And Brendan's tired after a long work week and he wants to play but is also needing some time to himself. So we have to figure out how each of us gets alone time, family time, and couple time. Which we haven't really figured out yet.
A New Path
11 months ago
5 comments:
Dude, let me know when you figure it out...we still have this argument too!
Sounds like our house!
Let me know if you find a magic solution?
The one thing that helps a little bit, is to sit down BEFORE The weekend and explain to Mike what I am hoping to get done. It doesn't always mean it gets done, but at least he is more aware of the fact that I have my own hopes for the weekend!
I agree with Mary Anne. We tend to think through how our weekends will work before they arrive. We talk about stuff we want to do together and the stuff we can better accomplish on our own.
And sometimes it is all about working in a sneaky break for yourself anyway. Walk to the park, then once you are there whip out your book and leave him to chase around after the kids. Sit on a blanket under a tree and loose yourself a bit, and occasionally hand out a juice box or banana!
We do talk beforehand. It usually goes like this:
me-what do you want to do this weekend?
b-I dunno.
me-well I have ten bibs I started and would like to get finished and my friend is coming over Sat. morning for coffee.
b-oh.
Seriously, that is our conversation. And then Saturday morning he lazes around and does nothing and when it's naptime all the sudden wants to get out of the house and can't understand why Ingrid's crabby.
More talking, less complaining, sorry.
Know how you feel. I home educate our four children, so yes, when it comes to Saturday I need a break too.
It's not easy, is it!
x
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