Sunday, June 12, 2011

Family Size

We had the talk last night.  Are we done, for sure, having kids??  I think we are.  Brendan is anyway.  I'm about 80% sure.  And when we were deciding on whether or not to have another after Ingrid, I was 80% sure I wanted one.  So...I think we're done. 

I have to wrap my mind around that one.

A few people I know are pregnant right now for number 3, and even though Otis is still a baby, I was a little envious when I found out.  Then I found out another friend is pregnant for number 2 and she got pregnant when her baby was Otis' age.  Sigh...I hate being pregnant, I'm remembering last summer how sick I was, how miserable I was in the heat even though I wasn't big.  How life seemed to stop while I laid on the couch for months at a time.  And let's not forget the whole three week hospital bedrest ordeal!  And yet I'm envious of pregnant women??  What's that all about?

We were dead set on having an only child, and I do have to say I'm glad we changed our minds.  Watching Ingrid be a big sister is amazing, she loves to make Otis laugh and talks baby talk to him.  Yesterday morning she got up and said "Where's my Otis boy?"  And Otis is nothing but smiles for his big sister, even though she's not gentle with him at all.  He gets smacked in the face by her foot or gets a hug that suffocates him, and all he does is gurgles and smiles like it's the best thing in the world.

So another one?  I could do it.  I loved this past six months with Otis.  Using the Moby, nursing him, sharing a bed with him.  He's now settling down for naps on his own, bedtime on his own, he can sit in his Bumbo for a half hour or so at a time, or on his play gym and be content while I get things done.  By the time another Bub would be here, he'd be walking and eating solid food and would be a toddler!  So yeah, I could do it.

But Brendan says he doesn't want to.  And I can see the pros of being done now.  I could finally lose all the weight I've gained birthin' babies.  Ingrid will be off to school soon and it'll be just me and the Fat Man.  We can sort of travel right now, we have a parent for each child so it makes it easier to keep an eye on them.  It's kind of like we have the best of both worlds--our kids each have a sibling and we still have a relatively calm household. 

It's just hard to say never.  I've heard women say they just knew when they were done, they knew their families were complete.  I don't have that gut reaction, I could still imagine another one.  But I also am enjoying our new life back in Milwaukee, the idea of buying a house and making it our home.  I don't really want to be pregnant for another one.  So, I guess we're done. 


Fiona said...

It can be a tough decision, and it can also take some time to accept it.

I also think when you still have a baby, the thought of another baby is not a difficult one to consider, becasue it wouldn't change your life in a huge way. But once you have 2 older kids, the thought of going back to all that baby stuff makes it a much easier choice to live with!

Carly said...

My Husband was done after 1..I totally feel done after 3. Sometimes you change your mind tho...Ya really never know!

MaryAnne said...

Mike says we're done. I'm not sure, but at the same time I doubt I'll ever have that "for sure" gut feeling. There are tons of practical reasons to stop at three, though - and I'll say that switch from two to three was a BIG jump, for me at least!

Mommy, Papa and the 'Nuts said...

Just read what MaryAnne wrote... I had a horrible time adjusting to number 2 and yet we went on for the third! You just don't know. Ialways thought we'd have two, then i wanted three and now we would consider 4!

Anonymous said...

Having 3 children makes a huge difference. You need a larger vehicle for all three baby seats. Getting them in and out is three times the headache. You need a larger house, a bedroom each, especially as they get older and need a quiet room to use for studying. One extra child is a completely different ball game.........Rosemary

Mommy, Papa and the 'Nuts said...

Sorry Rosemary, I disagree... You may need a bigger car but a bigger house? Nah. Remember when we all shared a room? Or way back when 6 kids shared a room? They're kids and they'll love another sibling. (Three times the love Amber, not the headaches. A mini-van has auto doors and is WAAAAY easier to get everyone in, trust me!)