Preparing for the Bub

Well, I am officially in maternity clothes.  I tried a big skirt a few days ago and when I sat down I felt like my uterus was being smooshed.  So, elastic waist, here I come!  I love wearing maternity clothes for the most part anyway, I never had a hard time adjusting to them.  I always have a poochy belly that doesn't fit right into regular pants so to not have to camouflage it is heaven!

Today Ingrid and I went to the local cloth diaper store and looked for some prefolds.  I have had a hell of a time getting some used off diaperswappers.com!  If you order them brand spankin' new for a dozen, they are usually around $27 with shipping.  Some people wanted $29 for their used ones!  Maybe they are crazy good ones, but still, I am not paying more for used than for new, thank you very much.  Anyway, today I found 18 little wee newborn prefolds for 60cents a piece!  Considering these may only work for a month or so, hooray for savings! 

I also looked through the baby section at Target yesterday.  How on earth do people not find out the gender beforehand??  You used to be able to get gender neutral green or yellow but now every single thing is pink pink pink or blue blue blue.  Even when I knew I was having a girl I hated to buy pink, so that really bums me out that you can't even get green stuff anymore.  Or if it is green it has flowers and ruffles.  Sheesh, not all girls are frilly.  Luckily we are good thrifters in our house, so we have a couple boxes of teeny shirts and gowns and footed pjs to get us through the first month or so.  They look so tiny!!  Ingrid kept holding things up to her saying she was going to wear it, I don't think she quite gets that she isn't the baby I'm talking of anymore!!

Other than that, we aren't really feeling the need to prepare too much more.  A friend has a car seat and bassinet, we already have a couple slings, and I know how to make blankets :)  Plus, what's the point of preparing much in our house if we're not going to be here?  Brendan just informed me that his job will be done in February so he'll have to have a new one lined up by then.  I looked at him dumbfounded--"You do realize I am due January 30th, right?"  His job, by the way, will most likely NOT be in the town in which we currently reside.  Which means a big move out of state either being immensely pregnant or with a very newly born baby.  Gulp.  I am not sure how to take this, as I was under the impression we were going to be here until spring, giving me at least a couple months to get used to two kids before having to schlep them to a new house...

So, preparing what I can right now is all I can do.  Diapers, gowns, and tshirts.  The rest we'll figure out later!

If Mama Ain't Happy...

Boy, does the saying "If Mama ain't happy, ain't no one happy" sure make sense.  Yesterday Ingrid woke up crying.  At everything.  I was super tired because she had gotten up a few times in the night, Brendan was tired because he was up watching TV late, so neither of us wanted to get up to deal with her.  We tried to entice her to come into bed and snuggle with us, but that kid is so particular.  She loves to snuggle in bed...with me.  If Brendan is near, she yells at him to get up, go take a shower, Daddy!  Since Brendan was not moving she threw a fit.  I followed suit and told her to get out of our room.  The morning just went downhill from there.

The whole day was LONG and sucky.  Lots of yelling, lots of tears and whining, nothing productive got done.  Brendan decided that it was a good idea to look at cars, although it was pouring down rain.  We went (why??) and Ingrid just wanted to splash in puddles.  When neither of us wanted to do the same she, you guessed it, threw a fit.  We went back home, she fell asleep for two seconds in the car but wouldn't sleep at home.  It was one of those rainy days that if you don't have kids is really nice and relaxing.  You can just curl up with a good book or veg in front of the TV.  But with kids it sucks.  Ingrid wanted to color, no play, no read books, no watch TV.  Her attention span was super short, her fuse was super short, we didn't really feel like playing with her anyway, so it just was not a good afternoon.

Fast forward to today!  Today I woke up to the same exact situation--Ingrid coming in our room and crying because Brendan was still in bed.  But today I felt rested and not sick, I was ready to get up and take her downstairs right away.  She has been happy and playing by herself all morning, ate some breakfast, sang some songs.  Ingrid has just been pleasant, a complete change from yesterday.  And why?  Because Mama is happy this  morning. 

It really sucks sometimes that that's the case.  Sometimes I'm just not in a good mood.  Especially being pregnant and tired and sick, I do not want to have the happiness of the household hanging on my shoulders.  Mamas need to be bitchy sometimes, too, you know?  I try my hardest to be patient and kind, but sometimes I just want to scream to Brendan to get his ass out of bed and deal with his daughter so his pregnant wife can get some rest.  Sometimes I just want to scream at Ingrid to quit her damn whining.  Sometimes I just don't feel like being the bigger person, but I know it's up to me to keep the mood light and happy.  Today that is easy, yesterday was not. 

Three Cheers for Ingrid! And Babies!

After a harrowing first night of no nuks, we are now settling into our new big girl routine.  Ingrid has stopped asking for her nuks for the most part, except when she wakes up at 5am.  After reminding her we don't have them anymore, she calms down and goes back to sleep for another hour, although I'm not able to.  Oh well.  Better than screaming for hours, right?

There was even a nap yesterday, how amazing is that? 

This just goes to show that I think we parents make more of a deal of things than the kids do.  I was SO worried about how it would go, SO worried that Ingrid would have a really hard time with this transition.  I was the same with her giving up bottles, and her crib, and both of those times it was a short couple days of getting used to things and then back to normal.  Kids are pretty resilient. 

In other news, I think I felt a wee kick in my belly this weekend.  I'm a little over 15 weeks so I'm not sure I'm supposed to feel it yet, but I swear it wasn't gas, it was in the same spot way down low where I know my uterus is, and since I know what it feels like from Ingrid, I don't think I'm imagining it!  This is exciting, because I was just starting to get that feeling that I'm not really pregnant, I'm really just fat and lazy and tired and sick.  This first part where you don't look pregnant and there's nothing going on internally to remind you you're pregnant is so hard!  It's hard to be excited, it's hard to think of the positives.  But when that kicking starts, oh boy!  All the sudden it comes crashing down--there is a human being in there.  That is so strange and cool!

UUUUGGGGHHHH.

Last night was our first night of no nuks.  Since Ingrid didn't take a nap yesterday she was tired and whiny by 6pm.  She was in bed by 7:30, crying but yawning in between howls, so I figured she'd calm down and zonk out.  She did.  Aaaahhh!  She actually fell asleep better than she usually does, actually.  Success!  Or was it???

Around 10:30 she woke up crying for her "green nuk!!"  Yes, she had a favorite one, and it broke my heart to hear her ask for it knowing I couldn't give it to her.  We have been offering her hugs or a song instead of a nuk if she needs comforting, so I went in and rubbed her back, sang her a lullaby, gave her a kiss.  She was up crying so pathetically for the next two hours!  Oh, it just broke my heart, but this is why we threw them in the actual garbage outside the house, so at 2am we wouldn't be going to find one stashed away somewhere.  We wanted them gone, they are gone.  Now we just have to deal with the consequences! 

Ingrid wouldn't come to bed with me at first, she was saying "stay in Ingrid's bed!  You go to Mama's bed, bye Mama!"  And then as soon as I'd leave she'd wail "I need my mama!"  Oh my god, kid, my heart is already breaking, please spare me the theatrics!  Finally I convinced her to come into my bed, I sang her back to sleep and she slept for a few hours.  Then she got up at 5 and has been so fun since then...It's been one of those days you'd like to fast forward.  Luckily I have a haircut appointment this afternoon so I can escape my crabby house for a couple hours!

Here's to a better night tonight.  And a less crabby day tomorrow.

So Long, Nuks.

I threw away Ingrid's nuks (pacifiers) this morning.  Just cold turkey, say good bye to them, honey, in the trash they go!  We've been talking about how babies use nuks but not big girls and she's really into being a big girl.  And Brendan and I wanted her to have it gone before the baby gets here, and she was up screaming for it twice last night, so...time to go!  I have always disliked seeing kids walking around trying to talk around their pacifiers, and she was starting to do that.  She only had it at naptime and bedtime, it usually didn't leave her bedroom, so it wasn't like it was affecting her speech, but it drove me nuts when she'd spit her words out while sucking on that thing. 

Naptime wasn't happening today, even though I tried to wear her out.  We had to go to the car place to get a part put on, bright and early at 8am.  Then we went to run errands, stopped at a park, and came home to pack a picnic and go to the pool.  By 12:30 she was laying her head down on my shoulder and asking to go home.  Of course, once we got there she was all engines go again, go figure...So we're trying to do the one hour rest time, I gave her books and a bottle of water and told her she had to be quiet and rest.  Ha!  That kid does not sit still if she doesn't feel like it.  I kind of rested but mostly just kept hearing her banging things around in her room, knocking the fan over, jumping on the bed, singing songs.  Sigh...is it really the end of naptime?  Or will she learn how to zonk out without a piece of plastic in her mouth?

Bedtime tonight should be interesting.  Hopefully without a nap she'll be okay, but who knows.  Eventually she'll have to sleep, right? 

Sitting for Story Time

A few weeks ago a friend and I took our 2yr olds to a bookstore for story time.  All the other kids sat nicely while our children ran amok and didn't listen to a thing the lady said.  I thought maybe we should talk about that, so we've been really focusing on listening lately.  This morning I said we could go to the library story time if she could listen to the story and sit still.  Ingrid, of course, being on a "big girl" kick, said she could.  She could not.

We got there and she started running past all the other kids sitting there nicely to try to find the toys they usually have out.  I grabbed her and said no, listen there's a guy playing a song, let's sing along!  She gave me her mad look and ran away.  I wrangled her to the back and told her once again she had to sit and listen or we would go home, she screamed in my face that she wanted to stay.  *deep breath* okay. 

She refused to sit down and anything I would say just got a scream instead.  Moms are looking, kids are looking, it was embarrassing.  When we used to go to story time it was for kids under 2, so there wasn't a huge expectation of sitting still.  Half the kids were running around and would only stop to sing a song they recognized.  I never felt bad about it.  But lately it seems like every other kid her age can sit still for a story and a song.  All these little 2yr olds sitting like little ladies and gentlemen, and here's my monster running around like she never gets play time! 

Part of me could care less, I love having my spitfire kid and why should I care if she has the attention span for story time?  She can sit for hours at home reading books, and she knows the words to multiple songs.  It's not like she really needs anything from story time.  So why do I care?  Is it just because of the looks from other moms?  And why are those bitches giving me looks anyway??  I'm sure their kids all have their moments...

Or do kids need to learn to sit still and listen?  Is it one of those socialization things they should learn how to do?  It's rude to not listen and to disrupt story time for others, but is she capable of understanding that?  Am I just expecting too much from a 2yr old?  Until I figure it out I'm just going to avoid story time for awhile.  There's nothing to be gained from it and it just frustrates me and doesn't seem to be very fun for Ingrid.   

Back to School Already?

Truly the end of summer approaching us here.  I was about to get all pissy that the back to school stuff has taken over all of Target, but then I realized people are probably starting school in a few weeks...I am once again so glad I am not in school!

Have I ever told you how much I loved/hated school?  Brendan and I were just talking about that as we watched the movie Dazed and Confused.  There's a scene showing the last day of school and how excited everyone is and Brendan said that was always his favorite.  I was a nerd, my favorite was the first day of school.  It always held so much promise--would there be new kids to befriend?  Any cool new teachers?  What would I learn that year?  Seriously, NERD!

Somewhere in the mix I started hating school though, I just stopped caring.  Learning was still cool, but damn, there is so little of that going on when you have 25 other kids in your class, all of whom are going at a slower pace than you are.  I thought college would be so much better and then that was just full of those same people I hated in high school.  So school became this horrible thing I felt I had to get through. 

Every semester was the same, I'd get all excited about my new classes and my new notebooks and folders and pens.  I'd be really pumped to read the books on our list, and I'd make it to class in time to get a good seat.  Then a couple weeks into it I would realize no one else was talking or asking questions but me and maybe one other person, so basically we were just getting talked at.  I'd think, shoot, I don't have to get out of bed for this!  And then I'd end up crying on the phone to one of my good friends about how much I hated school and where was I going with it and did I really have to go? 

One semester I decided that no, I did not have to go through with it.  Not if I didn't want to, which I obviously didn't.  I had a good nannying job, I liked my life how it was, I didn't have a set path so school was just a thing I was paying for but not enjoying.  So I quit.  And boy did that feel good!!  I have never once looked back and thought it was a bad thing.  I nannied, I got married, I had my own kid, I started my etsy shop.  Things are okay.

But now I'm a mom and I wonder what I'll say to Ingrid if she tells me she doesn't want to go to college.  I realize that had I gone and just done it and stayed in for five years I would've at least gotten a degree, even if I never used it.  I sometimes wish my parents had forced me to go.  But then again, this is me, and my life has been my life because of the choices I've made.  Who would I be if I had gone to college right out of high school?  On the other hand, look at my husband:  college done in four years, took a couple years off, got his phd, and now he's all set to get a kick ass job.  I'd much rather see Ingrid do that than watch her struggle through her 20s like I did...

Anyway, back to school time always makes me think of these things.  Part of me wants to go buy new folders and pens and part of me is glad that I can travel during the fall and not have to worry about a school schedule.