Truly the end of summer approaching us here. I was about to get all pissy that the back to school stuff has taken over all of Target, but then I realized people are probably starting school in a few weeks...I am once again so glad I am not in school!
Have I ever told you how much I loved/hated school? Brendan and I were just talking about that as we watched the movie Dazed and Confused. There's a scene showing the last day of school and how excited everyone is and Brendan said that was always his favorite. I was a nerd, my favorite was the first day of school. It always held so much promise--would there be new kids to befriend? Any cool new teachers? What would I learn that year? Seriously, NERD!
Somewhere in the mix I started hating school though, I just stopped caring. Learning was still cool, but damn, there is so little of that going on when you have 25 other kids in your class, all of whom are going at a slower pace than you are. I thought college would be so much better and then that was just full of those same people I hated in high school. So school became this horrible thing I felt I had to get through.
Every semester was the same, I'd get all excited about my new classes and my new notebooks and folders and pens. I'd be really pumped to read the books on our list, and I'd make it to class in time to get a good seat. Then a couple weeks into it I would realize no one else was talking or asking questions but me and maybe one other person, so basically we were just getting talked at. I'd think, shoot, I don't have to get out of bed for this! And then I'd end up crying on the phone to one of my good friends about how much I hated school and where was I going with it and did I really have to go?
One semester I decided that no, I did not have to go through with it. Not if I didn't want to, which I obviously didn't. I had a good nannying job, I liked my life how it was, I didn't have a set path so school was just a thing I was paying for but not enjoying. So I quit. And boy did that feel good!! I have never once looked back and thought it was a bad thing. I nannied, I got married, I had my own kid, I started my etsy shop. Things are okay.
But now I'm a mom and I wonder what I'll say to Ingrid if she tells me she doesn't want to go to college. I realize that had I gone and just done it and stayed in for five years I would've at least gotten a degree, even if I never used it. I sometimes wish my parents had forced me to go. But then again, this is me, and my life has been my life because of the choices I've made. Who would I be if I had gone to college right out of high school? On the other hand, look at my husband: college done in four years, took a couple years off, got his phd, and now he's all set to get a kick ass job. I'd much rather see Ingrid do that than watch her struggle through her 20s like I did...
Anyway, back to school time always makes me think of these things. Part of me wants to go buy new folders and pens and part of me is glad that I can travel during the fall and not have to worry about a school schedule.
Wouldn't Change Anything
2 weeks ago