Party Preparations

Did I spell preparations right?  I'm having one of those moments where words all look wrong to me.  And they make no sense when I say them to myself.  I think I had too much coffee this morning. 

Anyway...

Sunday we are having a party for a few friends and their kids.  I am so excited to have people over!  We're getting our tree Saturday, then I'll be baking and cooking all morning Sunday to be ready for our afternoon of fun.  During Ingrid's nap today I've been making little goody bags for the kids, and ornaments with their names on them. 

I love getting things together for a party.  Ingrid and I went to the store and just wandered around looking at festive things.  We got a tiny string of lights to put up on our holiday shelf, and some santa napkins and plates, and toys to put in the goody bags.  I have lists of food things I need to get ready, and presents all wrapped and ready to go under the tree.  I've been listening to holiday music on Pandora and it even started snowing.

It's Christmas, everybody! 

Hello, World!

Oh man, am I in a good mood.  Ingrid has slept in for two nights straight!  All through the night, not a peep!  Well, there was a peep last night but I let her settle herself down and a minute later she was quiet again.  All this sleep makes for one happy mama!  I got up at 7:30 this morning--SEVEN THIRTY!  Usually we're up by six, and I have to drag my ass out of bed, but this morning I was the first one up.  I had coffee already made by the time Brendan brought Ingrid out.  What a great way to wake up.

Things just seem to be really going well here.  I feel happy and well rested, Ingrid has been adorable, Brendan has been sure to help out as much as he can since he's been working late.  I have another giveaway going on with Applesauce Craft, so I am busy making more gift sets and dresses to stock the store.  Ingrid and I have been doing fun activities the past couple days and I'm realizing A)it makes the day go by faster to have an activity and B)it makes her happy to have my undivided attention for an hour or two. 

Usually she's playing around me while I clean or bake or something.  I play a little with her but I've never been one to get down and really PLAY play, you know?  It bores me, honestly...But with crafty stuff like making crayons, it's fun for me, too.  I have play dough we should get out, and today we're making Christmas cookies.  I have to set up a place where she can get really messy with frosting and sprinkles. 

That is what sucks about this apartment--carpet in the dining room.  Who thinks that's a good idea???  The only sweepable place we have is our tiny kitchen so if I want to let Ingrid make a mess that's where we have to be.  Every other inch of our stupid place is carpeted.  Blah. 

Anyway, things are good here.  I'm looking forward to a nice weekend of sewing, Brendan has already said he'll take care of Ingrid all weekend so I can have a break.  I'm listening to Pandora's "jazzy holiday" station and drinking coffee and I got to sleep a whole uninterupted 8 hours last night.  Life is grand. 

Homesick, Sorta.

Brendan and I went to Milwaukee for Thanksgiving.  It was a great trip, so much better than the last time we were there.  In August we stayed near Milwaukee at the family cottage and only made it to the city for a day.  We couldn't wait to get the hell out of there!!  Something about the noise and the heat and all the people, we wanted to get back to our quiet little apartment.  This time, though, it was really fun and made me kind of homesick.

We made it to Brendan's parent's house in the afternoon, Ingrid did really well in the car and even slept some of the way.  Ingrid was in love with her gramma and grampa right away, giving hugs and kisses and following them around.  We put our pjs on really early, like by 5pm!  And Ingrid dragged her blankie around the house and explored.  We had a futon mattress on the floor by our bed for Ingrid, and we put her blankets on it and told her to lay down, and she did.  I went through the whole entire family saying "night night" to them all, and by the time I was done with that, her eyes were heavy and she fell asleep soon after.  And slept the whole night through, except for a little stirring, when I just layed by her and she fell asleep again.  Huh.  You just never know with her!

Friday we visited friends at the coffee shop I used to work at.  One is preggo and looking cute and we talked about cloth diapers and baby things.  I want to be there for her!  And the other friend we saw I miss so much it's crazy!  We used to get coffee every single Monday or Tuesday, and I miss that so much.  Then we went to Madison to see friends and meet their daughter who is Ingrid's age.  We hadn't seen them in SO LONG!  It was so fun to get together and have our girls play together.  We daydreamed about moving there and living close by and what it would be like.  Nice, that's what it would be.  Nice to know someone, nice to have someone to hang out with, nice to be close to family...

Saturday was more visiting--week old babies, and 8 month old babies.  Brendan got to go out with friends and I got to take a three hour nap.  We had Christmas with the parents on Sunday morning before we left, then we had to make the 6 hour drive again...

And here I sit in Michigan again.  I'm homesick for Milwaukee.  I miss going to Fuel and seeing friends, I'm sad about missing out on friends having babies and the babies growing up without me even meeting them.  I'm wishing we could move in February instead of June or July.  I'm hoping Brendan gets the ball rolling and starts to look for jobs.  I can't decide if I care if we are in Madison or Milwaukee (they are an hour apart and both have pros and cons...) 

And yet...

I got a note from my friend in Colorado and I think it would be awfully nice to try that out, too.  We would have so much fun living in the mountains.  We know some people there.  No family, but my friend that lives there is practically a sister.  So, what will it be???  Colorado or Wisconsin?  Certainly not Michigan, which makes me ready to leave.  I'm sick of being in limbo, I'd like to be done moving now, please. 

Oh, for the love of god...

I am officially starting this morning over.  Ingrid was up until 10pm last night, crying on and off.  I was trying to be calm about it, and mostly succeeded.  But at 10 when I was just about to doze off in bed, she started crying and I lost it.  EVERY SINGLE NIGHT??  Jeez...

So, after no sleep again, I was awoken to a whiny girl trying to open my door.  When she came in, she smelled suspiciously like poo, which Daddy mentioned but never changed...When I needed to go to the bathroom she whined.  When I needed to get my coffee she whined.  Oh, for the love of god, child, leave me alone for two seconds!  Let me wake up!! 

I got my coffee and then Brendan started rushing around the house looking for something he couldn't find.  I swear to god, every single morning he looks for something he needs and makes a mess searching for it.  I get up to help him and find it about two seconds later.  Why can't he ever find stuff???  And while I was helping find his phone, Ingrid decided to be curious about my cup of coffee that was on the table.  I came into the living room to see her looking all concerned and hearing a drip drip drip.  She had a diaper on, though, so she wasn't peeing.  What WAS that?

MY COFFEE!!  Spilling all over the table, the chair, the carpet.  Not a big deal usually, but WE ARE OUT OF COFFEE, there is no making more this morning until we get to the store!!  No sleep and no coffee?  You've got to be kidding me.  I lost it a little and yelled and Ingrid cried and then I felt bad.  She's curious, what is this magical elixir called coffee that mama and daddy are so fond of?  Can't blame her, she's a kid. 

So, after yelling and thankfully finding there was one more cup of coffee in the pot, I decided to start the morning over.  No more yelling, no more crabiness.  I'm going to drink this coffee and be nice mommy while we clean and pack for our trip to Grandma and Grandpa's house in Milwaukee.  Nice mommy, nice  mommy, nice mommy.  Deep breaths. 

Thankful For Lots of Things :)

Thanksgiving time always has people saying what they're thankful for.  I like to be thankful all year long, but I will play along at this time of year as well.  Here's what I'm thankful for right now:

1. Being able to stay home with Ingrid.  I love being a mom, I love going on walks, coloring with her, hearing her say new words, watching her pretend things and marveling over all the things she knows how to do.

2. My husband for working and making money and never once saying I should get a job.  He has always been supportive of me staying home, and now he's supportive of me doing my etsy shop, too, even though it means I buy lots of fabric and a new sewing machine and there's always scraps of everything laying around the house.

3. My etsy shop!  It has given me a reason to sew, which I LOVE to do.  And it makes me feel like I have a talent and I've never had that before.  It gives me a creative outlet I have needed for a long time.  I never realized how badly I needed it, but now that I have it, I see I was missing something before.

4. My mom.  She is the only person I feel comfortable leaving Ingrid with, and therefore the only babysitter she's ever really had.  Thus, my mom is the reason we get date nights.  And when she's here it just makes my day because she plays with Ingrid and bakes and cleans up and gives me a much needed break :)

5. My friends.  I have made some great friends here in Michigan that are always willing to have a playdate.  I can't even imagine if I were here with no friends and it was just Ingrid and I at home all day long...I love being home most of the time, but I need that socialization big time!!  And my friends in Milwaukee that have kept in touch with me after I moved--I miss them so much!  I am thankful that our friendship is important enough for them to still love me even though I'm six hours away. 

My family is healthy, we are no longer as poor as we were last year living off a grad student stipend :) and we are loved by friends and family.  I will play along at this time of year, but I think it's important for people to remember why they are lucky all year long.  I am thankful for all these things every single day! 

Sleeping A Little at a Time...

If it's not working, do something else.  Whatever we were doing with Ingrid was not working, so we tried something else.  Friday night we went to dinner and my mom watched her.  She was fine while we were gone, but then up three times between 9 and 10:30pm.  So, I took her mattress out of the crib, plopped it on the floor, grabbed my comforter and pillow, and we camped out.  Ingrid thought this was very interesting.  She laid on her mattress for awhile, with her hand touching my arm.  Then she crawled over to me and snuggled for a bit.  Then back to the mattress.  Then she stood up and ran to the mattress, jumping on it and screeching "Wheee!"  Hmm, not really the sleep I was hoping for, but not crying either.

After an hour and a half of me dozing next to Ingrid, who was crawling back and forth between me and her mattress, she finally started whining a little.  I asked her if she wanted to go back to her bed, and she said yes.  I put the mattress in the crib, stuck her in, and she slept for 7 1/2 hours.  Last night she was up a couple times but not nearly as bad as it had been.  Just getting that one night of 7 hours of sleep, and naps while my mom and Brendan watched her, I feel so refreshed!  How ridiculous. 

Ugh.

I need a pick me up today.  Ingrid hasn't been sleeping well for weeks now and it's starting to wear on my nerves.  Last night she was up every hour or so from 7pm until 630am.  She did not sleep more than 2 hours at any one time during the whole entire effing night!!  I am exhausted this morning.  And so is she, but she won't just go back to bed like I could...she wants to play but she's so tired she doesn't know what she wants to do.  She just cried for a half hour for no reason--I tried to get her interested in books, a blanket, her kitchen, a snack.  Ugh.

She is a year and a half and this has been an ongoing battle.  I don't know what to do anymore.  I have tried giving her what she needs, even if that's a cuddle for a minute, then back to bed.  But she gets up so much, I don't get any sleep.  I've tried letting her settle herself back down, which happens sometimes, but usually she'd cry nonstop if I let her.  I have let her before, too.  I went in every few minutes to try to calm her down but not take her out of the crib and she cried for two hours until finally I took her out and she calmed down for a little bit.  I try to take her in bed with us but she never sleeps, she just starts playing on us.  Ugh.

Isn't it supposed to get better the older they get??  She slept better as a baby.  She'd sleep 8 hrs straight, have a bottle, and sleep for 3 hours more.  That I could handle.  This I cannot.  Ugh.