Much Needed Update

Well, not so much needed if you don't care what goes on in my life, but if you didn't you wouldn't read this, huh? 

Biggest news of  late--we bought a house!  We were saving up money and then Brendan got an unexpected bonus and we got a tax return and suddenly we had a down payment!  So we started looking at houses, found that we really wanted to stay in our neighborhood, no matter how amazing the houses were on the west side, we want to be by the lake.  So we narrowed our search to Bay View and found a little 3br colonial not too far from where we live now.  Our home inspection is tomorrow, we're hoping nothing major is wrong with it!!  We should be closing the end of April.

I cannot tell you how happy this makes me.  After all the effing moving we have done in the past decade, it will be nice to be settled and really make this our home, instead of wondering if we can paint, do they allow dogs, will the neighbors be too loud for our in-bed-by-7pm kids?  NO ONE WILL LIVE UPSTAIRS!  No one will be doing their laundry beneath our apartment at 3am.  No one will get drunk and be loud on a Friday night (seriously, no one.  We haven't been out in forever.)  I am so looking forward to this!

In other news, Ingrid is almost four.  She is the first on the wait list at the school we want her to go to.  Which hopefully means she'll get in because we did not choose another school for her to do a K4 program.  And I think she's ready for school again.  We have been keeping busy with playgroup at the community center and playdates with neighbors and friends.  It's been crazy nice out so we've been at the park nonstop and of course Ingrid gloms onto some poor unsuspecting kid and they play together the whole time we're there. 

Otis is one and walking and growing like mad.  He's got a ton of teeth and I have to cut his hair because he has a moptop.  He is funny and charming and as big of a ham as his sister.  He loves to flirt with people wherever we go.  He blows kisses now, the old ladies LOVE that.

Brendan is good, loving his job.  He has gotten to bike to work most days because it's been so nice out, which is unusual for March in Wisconsin...  I'm good, loving my many jobs.  Applesauce Crafts is going strong--I have two craft shows lined up for the end of April, early May.  I am doing some consigning at a local handmade shop, the Waxwing.  It's pretty great, if I can ever find time to sew.  We're outside most of the day, and when we're not I'm so damn tired I don't want to look at my sewing machine.  Toadstool Vintage is also doing well.  I haven't had a ton of time to go thrifting but hopefully will do in the near future. 

Now, hopefully I will not be so neglectful.  But with all that's coming up in the next couple months, don't hold your breath.

To School or Not?

Yeesh, it's been almost two months since I've posted last.  Sorry, guys, it's been crazy busy!  But I have been thinking about this whole school thing for awhile now, so I thought I'd post my thoughts and see what the wise blogger women had to say.

Ingrid is in K3 Montessori this year.  She likes it.  The K3 class stays until lunch, then most go home, but they do have an afternoon part they can stay at, with lunch, recess, a story, and resting time.  Ingrid likes school so much she asked to stay for the afternoon.  Which means she's in school from 9am until 3:30pm.  Every day. 

Part of me finds this just fine.  She likes it, she never cries when I leave her, she never is upset when Otis and I walk out the door.  She has friends at school, loves her teachers.  I like that it doesn't interfere with Otis' nap time anymore, since he sleeps until 1-2pm.  I also like not having to drop her off to school and then turning around a couple hours later to pick her up again. 

But...

I feel like school has made her so sassy.  And emotional.  The past few weeks have been horrible, with temper tantrums and crying at the drop of a hat and not listening and lots of yelling.  I was completely at a loss.  Then we had off for the holidays.  We got back into our routine of a slow morning with lots of play, coloring, puzzles, running errands, then resting time in the afternoon.  Temper tantrums slowly faded, my happy girl was back, and I was so much more calm having her home. 

She loves to pull out this bag of scrap fabric I have and play fabric store.  Or play with her guys and her new castle she got for Christmas.  And I love that she will do that for hours!  Or read seventy books in a row if she feels like it.  Otis is pretty much the same way, too, so instead of rush rush rush, put a screaming baby in the car seat, run into school, drive home, more screaming baby, back in the car, etc etc, we just hung out, didn't drive anywhere for a couple days at a time, everyone was happy.

School was supposed to start today, only I thought it was tomorrow.  So we went to the library for story time, the kids had a blast, Ingrid was loving being with all the other kids.  And I thought really, tomorrow we have to go back to the hustle and bustle of school time?  I don't wanna!!  Part of me just wants to keep her home until K4 starts next fall.  She is happy at home, I'm happy with her at home (not one of those parents who loves the start of school, which I DO understand, but for us it's so much easier to be home!!) But what to do?  Is it me being selfish because I just don't want to do the school run anymore and be rushed in the morning?  Would it be teaching her something like you can quit if you don't like it?  Is that a bad thing?

I think the main thing I'm learning is that school is SO not on my high priority list right now.  If she has to miss a day, it totally does not bother me.  Jesus, if she misses the next semester it wouldn't bother me!  I could see her staying home until Otis goes to kindergarten, honestly.  So if it's easier for me, I am game to keep her home.  But, is that fair to her?  She likes school.  She likes home, too, but am I keeping her from something?  We do story time and there's a kid's time at the Children's Museum, too, so we'd have our outings, and we always have play dates. 

What to do??????

My Little Nerd

My daughter loves school--loves it!  The first week she was a little hesitant, she liked it but still wanted us to wait with her until they lined up to go to their room.  Now, though, she is pushing me away, giving me a quick hug and saying okay, bye mom!  When I picked her up yesterday she was gushing about how she did the pink tower all by herself!  (I didn't know what that was, but I was proud that she was proud of herself!)

Yesterday was an open house to show the parents the room, meet the teacher, and have the kids show us their favorite activities.  Brendan hadn't been to her school yet, so it was fun for Ingrid to show her dad where she went.  She showed us how she does the pink tower (blocks of different sizes stacked up about 15 high) and buttoning, and coloring.  I just loved to watch her do things the right way ("we push in our chairs when we get up, Mom.") and she just seemed to really love what she was doing. 

I am once again SO GLAD we have public montessori schools!  This is probably the perfect situation for us.  I was worried about "regular" school for Ingrid, but I know she's not getting enough stimulation with just me and Otis at home.  This way she gets to go to school but is challenged and her mind is worked in interesting ways.  I am so happy!

The School Run

So, after getting used to the idea of Ingrid not going to school this year, we ended up getting into one.  It's not our first choice, we have to drive there, but it's Montessori, it's free, and it's close even though it's not walking distance.

I have issues with the school.  I'm not sure what the deal is, but it's an old middle school that they have split into the Montessori downstairs and a high school upstairs.  Ingrid's room is bright and cheery, but you have to walk down this tunnel like corridor in the basement to get there.  The teachers are all really nice, but frazzled.  When I picked Ingrid up at lunchtime yesterday I could barely say hi to the teacher.  It was just a madhouse!  This morning when we dropped her off, there were about ten billion crying kids, which just broke my heart.  Like not just whimpering, but full on bawling and screaming mama.  And we were in the lunchroom so it was like echoey and loud and Ingrid just looked at me like "you are going to leave me here???"  I stayed with her until they lined up for class.

She is happy there, she is smiley when we walk in, she didn't cry when Otis and I left, she seems happy to be there.  I just don't like the chaos.  I am so used to our leisurely mornings, it is a little jarring to go to this loud clusterf**k at 9am.  Hopefully things will calm down as the school year goes on. 

But it got me thinking of the other school runs I've done in the past and how very different they are from this one.  When I was a nanny I would walk the kids to school and pick them up.  I did it for a couple different families, and they were all at the same school in the same nice neighborhood in a suburb of Milwaukee.  The school run there is moms that don't work walking over or driving their luxury SUVs.  The moms chat about whatever while waiting for their kids, the kids come out in their expensive clothes and go to their after school activities. 

Ingrid's school is in the Mexican part of town.  It's bilingual so everyone speaks Spanish.  There are a handful of white kids there.  School starts at 9am but there is a subsidized breakfast program that most kids take part in, so that's why they start out in the lunch room.  There is an afterschool program, too, so kids could theoretically be at school from 7:45am until 6pm.  Because their parents have to work.  They have nothing else to do with their kids.  It's so different than what I'm used to!

We'll see how the next month or so goes.  If Ingrid starts acting like she doesn't like it, I will take her out.  She can go to the neighborhood Montessori next year for K4.  I love the three hours she's away and Otis naps, but I love having her home, too.  Either way...

A Couple Updates

First of all, an update on our family time.  I think we've been doing pretty well at it.  Brendan has been taking little bike rides after the kids are in bed, so he gets some alone time.  I have been sleeping when Otis does on Saturday mornings, so that helps me catch up on some sleep.  And I also just had to show Brendan that family time does not have to happen only on the weekend and does not have to include a trip somewhere. 

For example, I was sitting in our bed with both kids, we were reading bedtime books.  Otis was smiling and giggling at Ingrid, she was kissing his hands to get another laugh, and I just thought, okay, here's family time.  Where was Brendan?  Out on the computer.  So I called him in and told him if he wanted family time, he'd have to be around his family, not in the other room.

This weekend has been super fun.  We went to the children's museum with friends, so Brendan took Ingrid around while I sat in the baby area and talked to a friend.  It was family time but also hanging out time.  I got some sewing done while Brendan played with the kids in the backyard.  He's out right now by himself.  I feel like this weekend we did a good job balancing.  Who knows if it will last, but it works right now!

I think Otis getting older is helping.  I know Brendan used to feel helpless when Otis was a newborn because he couldn't feed him.  He couldn't figure out how to calm him down.  But now Otis is a lot easier to figure out, he doesn't cry very often, and I've been trying to make sure I'm not the only one putting him down to bed.  I did that with Ingrid and I'm totally regretting she never got used to anyone else putting her to bed!

Which brings us to Otis and feedings.  He's been pretty good about nursing, he does most of the time.  But sometimes, like today, his teeth are killing him and he just refuses.  So he gets a bottle.  It's not often, and I don't really mind.  I wish I didn't have to, but I also don't want to deal with a screaming baby.  We seem to have figured it out.  He's eating solids three times a day now and that helps, too.  Not every single feed has to be from me, Brendan can help with those. 

Ingrid is enjoying her Montessori program.  She cried when we left her last week, though, it broke my heart.  The teachers said two seconds after I was gone she was fine, so I guess it's not that big of a deal.  She comes home with lots of stories about her new little friends, and tons of paintings.  What the hell do you do with all these paintings??  We hung some up in the kitchen, I'm going to save some for wrapping gifts for the grandparents, and I will recycle the rest I guess. 

I have to get her signed up for the K3 Montessori still.  I tried to go there last week but no one was there.  Can't get a hold of anyone on the phone.  The message says their hours are 7-4 but I think that's not during July.  The school is in a shitty neighborhood and it made me sad that I was hesitant about sending her there.  The teachers are awesome, why do I care if there's ghetto apartments across the street?  Am I a snob?  Either way, if we can get her into the neighborhood Montessori next year we will.  I'd much rather walk her to school than drive her downtown...

Anyway, that's our news.  Or non-news, really.  It's not very exciting.  It's lazy summer, we're pretty happy and everyone's healthy.  We're enjoying being in Milwaukee, and we're excited about buying a house soon. 

My Big Girl, at SCHOOL!

Seriously, people, Ingrid is huge now!  She is just getting so big and mature and she just turned three.  I feel like it was forever ago that she was a baby. 

Yesterday was her first day at preschool.  She loved it!!  As soon as she woke up she was begging to go.  She wore her backpack with her pjs until it was time to get dressed.  She ran up the stairs into Miss Carrie's house, ran right to her first project, and didn't even look at me when I said good bye.  I said it a couple more times until she finally called over her shoulder "Okay, mama, bye!" 

Some people cry at leaving their child for the first time.  I did not.  I immediately got home, put Otis down for his nap, and sewed like a madwoman!  I got SO MUCH accomplished in the few hours she was gone, it was awesome!  I got washcloths listed, made a couple sets of cloth wipes and listed those, even got the front of a robot quilt done.  Otis was asleep for a couple hours, then he woke up and was cuddly and smiley, then he ate, and it was time to go get Ingrid.  What a great morning!

The teachers said she just jumped right in, and they were helping her learn what each thing was for.  "Miss Jamie could barely keep up with her," they said, which is code for damn, she's got a lot of energy!  But they took it in stride and seemed to like her enthusiasm.  Good.  We came home with some paintings and drawings she had done and she passed out for a two hour nap directly after coming home. 

Tomorrow is another day, we'll see how she does with it after the novelty wears off.  I have a feeling she'll like it, she needs social time with other people, as she is a social person and is stuck at home with me and her little brother all the time.  When we go to the park and there are other kids there, she runs over and gives them these huge hugs that make me think she is starved for other kids! 

We also found out about a couple other Montessori public schools in the area that have openings for their K3 program, so it looks like we will be able to send her in the fall!  Exciting!  The one in our neighborhood is one of the most popular schools in the city so they basically laughed at me when I asked if I get her in.  There is a 90 child waiting list.  So we have to drive her to another school instead of walking to our neighborhood school, which pisses me off.  But, what are you gonna do?  I will enroll her in another school for this year and then for K4 hopefully we can get her in the one in our neighborhood. 

All this from a person that wasn't even sure I wanted to send her to school at all!  Brendan is amazed by my switch.  But I think it's all to do with Montessori.  It really seems to gel well with Ingrid's personality, and it's not the same old school like I had.  I just see her being so advanced and mature for her age and I cringe to think of her with the basic stuff I had to do.  I was SO bored in school.  I don't want that for her.  If she can be in a Montessori school I think it will be better for her.  Yay MPS for having Montessori schools--like six or seven of them! 

Preschool.

I signed Ingrid up for a summer program that some Montessori teachers are doing.  It's in one of the teacher's homes, Ingrid will go for two mornings and have lunch there.  We went to an open house yesterday to see what the set up is, meet other kids and their parents, and talk to the teachers. 

Ingrid was in love the minute she stepped inside!  They have three rooms set up with all the goodies from their classrooms.  It all looks so inviting, but I was terrified to see glass things and ceramic things and other breakable things right at Ingrid's level.  She is such a tornado!  She breaks shit all the time!  I immediately started to feel apprehensive.

There are kids that older and have gone to Montessori for a couple years, so they know what everything is for.  Ingrid, however, is brand new to the whole game, and just went from one thing to another.  I don't know why I felt apologetic, but I did!  I was like oh my god, she will get into everything and knock shit over, and they'll all think I'm a bad parent!

I have never ever felt this way before!  I've been pretty confident in my parenting skills, I love my child and her feisty ways, and I do believe a child's personality can outweigh what their parents do (aka, it's not my fault she's such a spaz!) 

So yeah, it was a real eye opener.  I know she'll have fun but now I'll all worried that the teachers won't be able to control her or they won't like her because she's such a handful.  I know what a handful she is and I love her because I'm her mother, but other people don't have that connection.  I think I just have to take a deep breath and know that they are teachers, they have seen a lot of different children in their time, they know how to control other people's kids.  Right?

Back to School Already?

Truly the end of summer approaching us here.  I was about to get all pissy that the back to school stuff has taken over all of Target, but then I realized people are probably starting school in a few weeks...I am once again so glad I am not in school!

Have I ever told you how much I loved/hated school?  Brendan and I were just talking about that as we watched the movie Dazed and Confused.  There's a scene showing the last day of school and how excited everyone is and Brendan said that was always his favorite.  I was a nerd, my favorite was the first day of school.  It always held so much promise--would there be new kids to befriend?  Any cool new teachers?  What would I learn that year?  Seriously, NERD!

Somewhere in the mix I started hating school though, I just stopped caring.  Learning was still cool, but damn, there is so little of that going on when you have 25 other kids in your class, all of whom are going at a slower pace than you are.  I thought college would be so much better and then that was just full of those same people I hated in high school.  So school became this horrible thing I felt I had to get through. 

Every semester was the same, I'd get all excited about my new classes and my new notebooks and folders and pens.  I'd be really pumped to read the books on our list, and I'd make it to class in time to get a good seat.  Then a couple weeks into it I would realize no one else was talking or asking questions but me and maybe one other person, so basically we were just getting talked at.  I'd think, shoot, I don't have to get out of bed for this!  And then I'd end up crying on the phone to one of my good friends about how much I hated school and where was I going with it and did I really have to go? 

One semester I decided that no, I did not have to go through with it.  Not if I didn't want to, which I obviously didn't.  I had a good nannying job, I liked my life how it was, I didn't have a set path so school was just a thing I was paying for but not enjoying.  So I quit.  And boy did that feel good!!  I have never once looked back and thought it was a bad thing.  I nannied, I got married, I had my own kid, I started my etsy shop.  Things are okay.

But now I'm a mom and I wonder what I'll say to Ingrid if she tells me she doesn't want to go to college.  I realize that had I gone and just done it and stayed in for five years I would've at least gotten a degree, even if I never used it.  I sometimes wish my parents had forced me to go.  But then again, this is me, and my life has been my life because of the choices I've made.  Who would I be if I had gone to college right out of high school?  On the other hand, look at my husband:  college done in four years, took a couple years off, got his phd, and now he's all set to get a kick ass job.  I'd much rather see Ingrid do that than watch her struggle through her 20s like I did...

Anyway, back to school time always makes me think of these things.  Part of me wants to go buy new folders and pens and part of me is glad that I can travel during the fall and not have to worry about a school schedule.