Weight.

Otis is gaining weight, he was over six pounds on Thursday!  Today is our last doctor appointment, can't wait to see what he weighs today.  He's been eating a TON, he has no lack of appetite.  Brendan and I can't get over how fat his face has become.  Still has skinny chicken legs but his head looks enormous now! 

I am hopefully not gaining weight, lol!  I didn't gain a ton with the pregnancy and when I went to a doctor's appointment a couple weeks ago I was at my prepregnancy weight.  Although that was still 15 pounds over what I should be...I forget how hard it is to switch from "eating for two" to eating just for myself again!  I never felt bad about a donut here or there while pregnant, it's not the same afterward!

And weighing heavy on my mind is where our future is headed.  Brendan has two weeks left of his job, then who knows?  He has been steadily applying to jobs, he has had interviews aplenty, but no job offers.  We have a backup plan of sorts, but it is not a happy one.  It involves borrowing money and living at my mom's.  In a small town in the middle of nowhere!  It involves getting our kids on state health care so we can still take them to the doctor.  We will not have health insurance, so I can't get sick, and we can't have any accidents.  I certainly cannot end up back in the hospital!!  It's a scary unknown time and I'm trying to think positively but it's hard.

For now I'll just stare at my two adorable kids and enjoy them.  I'll leave the job stuff up to Brendan and just think about money stuff later.  There's always time to worry about that, I will procrastinate with the worrying!  It's all about priorities, right?  My priority right now is to enjoy my family.

Quit Selling Me Stuff!

I just got my issues of The Mother magazine, and Mothering magazine.  To look at them side by side is funny.  It totally made me realize that even though Mothering is geared toward a more natural hippy dippy kind of parent, they still are a big magazine that have to run ads to make it happen.  So while Parents magazine has ads for Pampers and expensive strollers, Mothering has ads for Bum Genius and expensive baby carriers.  But they're still the same--selling me things I don't need!! 

I remember when I learned about slings and I wanted to get one on a limited budget.  Some of them were pretty expensive but I always saw how you could make your own.  I never did.  I spent the money and got a ridiculously expensive Hotslings pouch, which I love, but now that I know I didn't have to fork over that much...sheesh.  And my Ergo, I just had to have one but never could fathom spending over a hundred dollars on one.  The only reason I have one?  I found one at the thrift store for $8!! 

It was the same with cloth diapers--I went the inexpensive route at first, got some used fitteds and some covers, they worked just fine and kept Ingrid dry.  But it wasn't enough.  I had to get the newest FuzziBunz, in cute colors.  I had to try the Bum Genius, and even though I hated the velcro, I still ended up with seven of them!  They don't work any better than what I had, but I thought I had to have more. 

Isn't that what I'm trying not to do?  Aren't I trying to live with what I have and be happy with what I have?  Aren't I trying to teach Ingrid that it's what we do that makes us happy, not what we own?  But dammit, you see these glossy ads in magazines and think your life would be so much better if you just had a different diaper, a better wrap, another glass bottle with bpa free nipple.  Or that organic cotton whatever that costs five times more than I can afford.

What can you do, we live in a material based culture.  It's up to me to figure out that I can read the articles and enjoy them while ignoring the ads and knowing I don't have to have every little thing that's out there, it will not, in fact, make my life easier or my baby happier.  It's so easy to get sucked into it though!!