Sunday, May 15, 2011

Another Post About the Second Kid

I'm still enjoying the fact that I'm way more laid back about Otis.  Every day I realize how things change and we go with the flow and change what we need to and I just don't stress.  His "bed time" which I use loosely, is ever changing.  I usually get him ready and then bundle him up in a blanket and either nurse him to sleep or he hangs out in my arms for awhile and eventually falls asleep while I'm snuggled on the couch.  Then when I'm ready for bed I bring him in with me. 

With Ingrid I would rock her and feed her and she would take forever to fall asleep and I would get so irritated because the day had been super long and I just wanted to relax finally.  I would put her in bed and listen to her cry and sigh and go back in.  It was stressful. 

Naptimes are similar.  I put Otis in the Moby and go about our way in the morning, either cleaning the house or doing laundry or walking to the park.  Whatever the case, Otis falls asleep almost instantly and will sleep for an hour or so.  I never pay attention to how long he's been sleeping.  This happens a couple times a day, he sleeps here and there in the Moby or in my arms while I try to rest in the afternoon.  I don't pay attention to how many naps he gets, or how long they are.  I don't worry about how much sleep he's getting or not getting, I just go by his personality.  If he seems like he needs to sleep, I put him in the Moby and walk around. 

With Ingrid I would try to put her down for her naps at the same time every day, I was stuck at home for nap time.  I would freak out if she didn't fall asleep right away or sleep for long enough or especially if she didn't sleep at all.  Worry worry worry.  Is that inevitable in the life of a first time mom?? 

Otis is also just fed whenever.  I don't know if it's been one hour, three hours, four hours.  I just hear him get fussy, try to figure out which side he should be on, and nurse him.  And again, I follow his moods and he lets me know when he needs to eat. 

With Ingrid I bottle fed and therefore was so concerned with how many ounces she was consuming, I knew in x-amount of hours I had to feed her.  And oh man, just having to travel with bottles and formula and water, it was so much extra work.  I'm so glad to be breast feeding this time around!

It sounds like I am regretting what I did with Ingrid, and that's not really true.  Sure I wish I had known I could've nursed  her with my meds, and yes I wish I had known about babywearing sooner than six months old.  But I did the best I could, and believe it or not, I still consider myself to have been a laid back first time mom.  I'm just realizing how much I've learned in the past three years and how much my parenting style has changed and how much better this works for me.

What have you done differently with baby number 2 or 3? 


MaryAnne said...

I was a super laid-back mom with Emma, I think because I had so much experience with babies before having my own. My youngest sister was born when I was 15, and I spent hours playing with her and looking after her, so breastfeeding and childbirth were the two things that were truly "new" to me - and my mom had always fed her babies openly, so there wasn't a whole lot of mystery around that.

I've actually become somewhat less laid back since having my third kid - nap times matter more to me because it's my ONLY break (only Lily naps), and I am very attached to my kids' 7:30 bedtime. Maybe I'll loosen up a little once I start getting more sleep!

Fiona said...

What a great post.

I think we did pretty much the same with both girls, BUT the big difference was with Emily (2nd child) I felt so much more relaxed about everything. I was confident we were doing the right thing, and no longer felt I had to constantly justify and explain our choices.

With Sofie I was a lot more on edge I guess. Deep down I knew we were doing the right thing for our family, but I still worried when others questioned our choices.

With Emily I just used to nod and smile and carry on with what I was doing. It was a lot easier second time around.