Friday, August 21, 2009

Baking Epiphany.

The past few days have been downers for me, I don't know why. I was really unmotivated to do anything, I let the house get a mess, there was no food in the pantry or fridge. I was sick of watching Ingrid, I didn't want to do anything with her even though I knew she was bored and that's why she was acting out. I just felt...blah.

Then yesterday morning we got up early and had a playdate with our friends Jami and Ben. I made a loaf of banana/zuchinni bread and after I put it in the oven I had this strange feeling come over me. I had missed baking! Making that loaf of bread suddenly made me feel more peaceful, ready to deal with a toddler, and reminded me I like my simple life. How can that be? It was like something clicked and I remembered why I like to be a stay at home mom and what kind of life I want to lead.

I admit, I get carried away with daydreams. Lately I've been getting a lot of people wanting to trade things for the dresses and owls I make and I started thinking of how nice it would be to have a little sewing room where no little hands could pull things off tables and get into the felt scraps. I started getting irritated with Ingrid for being the curious person I usually love that she is. I started wanting her to need me less so I could get on and do my own thing. That simple act of making a loaf of bread put me back into reality--I am at home with a one year old. I have a home to take care of, a dog that needs walking, a toddler to keep entertained, and some fresh air and sunshine that need to be taken in. Perhaps in a few years there will be time for hard core sewing, but for now I have to take advantage of what I have--an adorable daughter that wants to play!

So the rest of the day went smoothly. We went to our friend's house, we came home and Ingrid napped. I got three owls cut out to be worked on after Ingrid went to bed. After naptime we spent the afternoon outside. And I was really in tune and happy to be where I was. Thank god, because I really hate feeling cranky and crabby!


Jami said...

That was some damn good bread

sunnymama said...

Glad you're feeling better after your baking epiphany! It's the best when we can be tuned in and enjoy the moment with our children :) Now that we have celebrated a 3rd birthday with sunnyboy I am realising even more that I want to make the most of every day of his childhood because he is growing up so fast.