I Miss My Baby

I've been in the hospital now for six days.  Ingrid came to visit the first day but then my mom took her over to the other side of the state.  I can't remember if we've ever been apart for more than a few days.  It sucks.  Brendan is picking her up tomorrow but she can't even come visit because she's been sick with a stomach virus that's going around and I can't have her get me sick.  So another day will go by. 

I talked to her every day and it was good and bad.  Good because she barely had time for me, she was so busy and having so much fun with Gramma.  It snowed over there so she got to make snow angels and go "skiing" (sledding!) and play with dollhouses and toys we don't have at home.  It was bad because--she barely had time for me!!  Hi mama, I'm playing, bye mama, blow kiss!  I know 2 1/2 yr olds aren't the best phone talkers but come on, your ol' mom needs more than that! 

No, really I'd rather she is having so much fun with Gramma.  I couldn't bear to hear she had been crying the whole time.  But I do feel a bit useless.  Boohoo, poor me.  It's just late and I barely sleep here in the hospital and I miss my girl.  And as much as I want to see her tomorrow, I really don't want a stomach virus anywhere near me...I have enough to worry about without adding that!!  One day at a time, soon I'll be home again and be lamenting on how hard it is to take care of two, or how she's driving me nuts with her constant energy when I just want a nap. 

Feeling Okay.

The weather has been gorgeous the past couple days.  Today I finally had the strength to go outside and do something.  It's funny, I was so nauseated before but not throwing up, and now I'm throwing up but otherwise fine.  Which is better?  To me I guess this next stage is--throw up once in the morning, feel tons better, and go about my day.  Sorry, TMI, but there you go. 

Anyway, today was great, after I finally got my ass out of bed.  We had to go to the library so I threw on my tennis shoes and put Ingrid in the stroller and we walked the mile or so to the downtown library.  It's great to walk down Main Street and see all the outdoor cafes, everyone biking and enjoying the sun.  We got our new books and then went to get a sub for lunch.  After that we walked toward home.

On the way home I saw this enormous yard sale with loads of stuff, so I had to check it out.  Ingrid was drawn magically to the kiddie sized drum set and spent the majority of the time drumming on it while all the people there said oh, she sure does like that!  I think you should get it for her!  Yeah right, you want me to live with a 2 year old and drum kit??  Right.  I bypassed the drums and found a couple cool vintage sheets.  What more could I ask for from a sunny summery day?

We then walked home for naptime and now I'm contemplating what to do this afternoon.  I love feeling okay!  I know tomorrow morning I'll be puking again, but for now I feel alright and I can take Ingrid out to have fun instead of begging her to just go read her books or go in the playroom for awhile while mommy lays half dead on the couch.  Poor kid, she's really gonna get the shit end of this new baby stick, isn't she?

Making Babies is Hard Work!

I am about nine weeks along and the sickness is getting to me.  At first it was a little nausea, but if I ate it would go away.  Ginger chews would work well, as did donuts!  Now, however, it's just this sickness hanging around me all day.  I'm totally tired, unmotivated, don't want to move.  Poor Ingrid!

I've tried to keep busy, thinking if I just keep moving I'll distract myself.  It works sometimes, but today I got up ready to go go go and I puked.  And afterward could not move a muscle for two hours.  For real, I have to do three more weeks of this???

I hated being pregnant with Ingrid and swore up and down I'd never do it again.  Yet somehow these weeks at the beginning that go SO SLOWLY and are so uncomfortable were forgotten.  All I could remember was the cute little belly, the kicks, and the baby at the end.  These next three weeks cannot go fast enough!  Here I come, second trimester!